"How many Macintosh division employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?" The answer is one. The Macintosh division employee holds up the light bulb and expects the universe to revolve around it."

"One of the reasons why I believe in God is there is no other explanation for Apple's continuous survival than the existence of God."

"Wooh green-screen ponies!"

"For years this rule has kept me out of hopeless despair: You simply do not feel what is always there. I ask my brain to entertain that pain is the same, that if I feel it all the time, can you really call it pain?"

"I forgot how to throw a boomerang, but then it came back to me."

"It seems no matter what I read I think "this is not harry potter.""

"I thought what would I give, if it could be true If I could ever feel again the way I felt when I read you"

"Hank: "If you just say enough things, some of them will end up on those quote websites." // John: "Which, of course, is the point of being a person.""

"We've got to keep 6 billion people happy without destroying our planet. It's the biggest challenge we've ever faced....but we're taking it on."

"So the president is like, "Well, once upon a time it was Congress's job to decide whether or not we attacked countries, so let's let them decide." Which is funny, because, as we all know, if Congress were on fire, Congress could not pass the "Pour Water on Congress Act"."

"The way that we look does not have anything to do with the way that we sound, or the way that we are."

"I think it's pretty ridiculous to sit back and think that we've changed the horse so much, without realizing that they have changed us an awful lot too."

"Why is it called Piggie-back riding? I'm not a piggie!"

"What does it mean that social structures among young people are so often predicated upon trying really, really hard to appear to not-be-trying?"

"But the truth of the matter is, to live a good life, as a good person, it doesn't matter how you got there. It just matters that you do."

"So you go on and on, with this intellectual fly down, your underwear exposed, and toilette paper hanging out the back of your pants."

"It's almost as if our society values opinion more than it values knowledge."

"I like three-legged dogs, because if I was missing a leg I would be like: „URGH, life sucks when missing a leg. Slow down! I can't walk that fast, I'm missing a freaking leg!!“ And dogs? No! A three legged dog is on it. Exactly the same amount of happy as a four-legged dog! That's why I like three-legged dogs. They have taken their three-leggedness and they embrace it."

"We often just accept the things that we like and complain a lot about the things that we don't like. But if we could, like, intensely dwell on the really great things in life the way we intensely dwell on the negative things in life. I think that would be fantastic."

"If you were a crayon, what color would you most like to make out with?"

"Ursula Le Guin has been a hero of mine for 20 years. She's done so much, and she will continue to do good even though she's gone. I honestly don't know what I would have become if it weren't for Ursula Le Guin. The first time I read "A Wizard of Earthsea" I realized how balance could be even more epic than war. Suddenly, Fantasy wasn't just wish fulfillment and grandeur, it was real and complex."

"Some will love you. Some will hate you. Most won't care about you either way. This world is all Good vs. Evil. And I fight evil."

"If you feel comfortable, and you feel happy, and successful at your job, then that’s success. You define that as success, then that’s success. Success is not a general thing. It’s a personal thing. It’s a personal attribute."

"Try not to measure your success by the success of others. Success should be defined by one person...Yourself."

"To be unknown but loved by just one is better than being known by many but loved by none."

"Choose respect over fame every time. Fame is just attention. Respect is an attribute of love."

"Never apologize for being real...ever. Reality is the enemy of fakes, frauds, liars and protectors of ignorance. It scares them."

"Separate wealth from value. All living things have value. We impart this value upon lifeless things to give them worth not vice versa."

"Fear and Sex are the two most effective weapons that are used against the people. Tempering desire motivates liberation."

"The fear that rules us comes NOT from the outside but from within. Mastering self-control also means stripping the rulers of a prized weapon."

"A definition of ignorance is not KNOWING what we DO & improvement is handicapped when we don't DO what we KNOW."

"We all KNOW better, but do we actually DO better?"

"Knowledge alone is not power, knowledge plus action equals power. Knowledge is useless without action and vice versa."

"Greed redefined and corrupted what true power is. Domination is for the weak, Harmony is the true sign of strength."

"Consider power as NOT getting people to obey you, but getting people to work in harmony with you with the goal being mutual benefit."

"In darkness is where we truly find ourselves, in light we only find others and in others you cannot find yourself."

"My teacher's like, "Mr. Jaco?" "Yes?" "With all that knowledge, You aint trying to go to college? Be a lawyer or a doctor, Get a whole lotta dollars? Rather degrade women and glorify violence?" "Well the work that works for me might not work for you No homework, I got work to do.""

"I'm not a prophet but Fahrenheit 1/15 is being quoted by preachers. Far from being a leader but I'm still being invited by teachers."

"Come across as very calm, mental state is Zen like. Always had a lot of heart, never been the tin type"

"I think that all the silence is worse than all the violence,Fear is such a weak emotion that's why I despise it."

"Glenn Beck is a racist, Limbaugh is a racist, Gaza strip was getting bombed Obama didn't say shit."

"Your child's future was the first to go with budget cuts, if you think that hurts then wait here comes the upper-cut, the school was garbage in the first place that's on the up and up."

"The future's cloudy and it's rainin on the poor class. Road to peace is closed, heavy traffic on the war paths"

"And baby girl what does it matter where your purse from. Your hair done, your nails did, your ass fat...but you're dumb."

"So tell my enemies that they can’t injure me, I know that irritates, you have my sympathies."

"My most coveted thing is a high self-esteem, and a low tolerance for them telling me how to lean, see the most important parts are the ones that are unseen, cause the wings don't make you fly and the crown don't make you king"

"Rap records pressured to laugh, at a life not fast."

"A match made in Heaven, set the fires in Hell"

"I love my city really hope that God bless it, have my mind moving faster than that Hog in the Hedges"

"Made me a ripper, deliver like a river, content a little more thicker, slicker...and they said oil and water don't mix, now they all down at the beach washing off the fish."