"Let me help you. First of all, you gotta wet it if you want a clean line... close your eyes, when you're putting on your makeup it's like you're an artist, but instead of painting a canvas you're painting a face. Didn't you ever watch your mom put on her makeup?"

"If I'm not 20 times better than "boobs for brains" over there, you don't have to pay me."

"I was watching the news one day and I saw footage about, uh, war, and I think it was in Darfur, or Rwanda, or Zimbabwe, or one of 'em, and I thought, 'this isn't right, is it?' And I made some phone calls and it turns out, it isn't."

"Colm Meaney as Jonathan Snow, Aldous's father"

"Jake Johnson as Jazz Man, one of Aaron's co-workers"

"[after Aldous sees Sarah Marshall on TV] Didn't I have sex with her once? [Pauses and leans towards the television screen] Yeah, yeah I did."

"Kali Hawk as Kali Coleman, one of Aaron's co-workers"

"Ellie Kemper as one of Aaron's co-workers"

"Nick Kroll as Kevin McLean, one of Aaron's co-workers"

"Aziz Ansari as Matty Briggs, one of Aaron's co-workers"

"Sean Combs as Sergio Roma, a volatile and aggressive record company owner and Aaron's boss who assigns him to manage Aldous"

"Rose Byrne as Jackie Q, a scandalous pop star, Aldous's on and off girlfriend and Naples's mother"

"Elisabeth Moss as Daphne Binks, Aaron's girlfriend"

"Russell Brand as Aldous Snow, a free-spirited rock star with a faltering career who first appears in Forgetting Sarah Marshall"

"[Jiggling a hooker's breasts] It's better than Christmas!"

"I'm like an African white space Jesus. That's not for me to say though."

"[to Aaron]Your brain is full of lollipops, rainbows, and cheese."

"Ksenia Solo – Veronica"

"Toby Hemingway – Tom"

"Sebastian Stan – Andrew"

"Janet Montgomery – Madeline"

"Kristina Anapau – Galina"

"Benjamin Millepied – David"

"Winona Ryder – Beth MacIntyre"

"Barbara Hershey – Erica Sayers"

"Vincent Cassel – Thomas Leroy"

"Mila Kunis – Lily"

"Natalie Portman – Nina Sayers"

"[to Nina] Perfection is not just about control. It is also about letting go. Surprise yourself so you can surprise the audience. Transcendence. Very few have it in them."

"[to Nina] That was me seducing you. It needs to be the other way around."

"I had the craziest dream last night, about a girl who was turned into a swan -- but her prince falls for the wrong girl, and... she kills herself."

"I felt it. Perfect. It was perfect."

"You know, you really don't need a forensics team to get to the bottom of this. If you guys were the inventors of Facebook, you'd have invented Facebook."