"Well, you certainly made it very clear how your legal system works Mr. Young. Now, I'd like to explain a little bit about the Peter Blunt system. You see, I don't go in for lawsuits and motions or any of the legal stuff. No, no, you see what happens is, uh, I find out where you live and then I come to your house, see? And I beat down your door with a fucking baseball bat! And, then I make a bonfire with the Chipendale, maybe roast that Golden Retriever, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, then eat it! And then I'm coming upstairs, junior, and I'm gonna grab you by your Brooks Bros. P.J.s, and then I'm gonna take your brand new B.M.W., and cram it up your tight ass! Do we have an understanding?"

"[on the phone, after Chandler Young has gotten Hartounian Construction's power turned off] That's hard to say, huh? Well, when can we get the power turned back on? That's hard to say, huh? Well, tell me something. Is it as hard to say as "Oh, my god! Somebody help me! There's a man in my office with a flamethrower"?"

"Golf, golf... what kinda name is "golf" anyway? Sounds like a sound you make when you've got something caught in your throat."

"Anthony Mockus Sr. - Mr. Pierpont"

"Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown. Stark said you wouldn't get that because it's not a Star Wars reference."

"You got gifts, Parker, but you didn't wanna be here. [Peter Parker: Mr. Fury, I–] I'd love to have you in Berlin, too, but you've got to decide whether you're going to step up or not. Stark chose you. He made you an Avenger. I need that. The world needs that. Maybe Stark was wrong– was he? The choice is yours."

"J. K. Simmons as J. Jonah Jameson"

"Ben Mendelsohn as Talos"

"Sharon Blynn as Soren"

"Tony Revolori as Eugene "Flash" Thompson"

"Angourie Rice as Betty Brant"

"Remy Hii as Brad Davis"

"Jake Gyllenhaal as Quentin Beck / Mysterio"

"Jacob Batalon as Ned Leeds"

"Martin Starr as Roger Harrington"

"Numan Acar as Dimitri Smerdyakov"

"Marisa Tomei as May Parker"

"Zendaya as Michelle "MJ" Jones"

"Cobie Smulders as Maria Hill"

"Jon Favreau as Harold "Happy" Hogan"

"Tom Holland as Peter Parker / Spider-Man / Night Monkey"

"as Nick Fury"

"J. B. Smoove as Julius Dell"

"Jorge Lendeborg Jr. as Jason Ionello"

"There you have it, folks: conclusive proof that Spider-Man was responsible for the brutal murder of Mysterio, an interdimensional warrior who gave his life to protect our planet, and who will, no doubt, go down in history as the greatest superhero of all time! But that's not all, folks. Here's the real blockbuster! Brace yourselves, you might wanna sit down."

"I have a fake ID, and I've never even used it!"

"Look, Peter. I'm not here to judge your life choices, dude. If you wanna hook up with some random European chick on our school trip, that's on you. [Peter Parker: That's not what that was, honestly.] I can't pretend that I didn't see what I just saw. I know you're trying to get with MJ. It's obvious. But I like her, too."

"I post stupid videos daily for people to like me! [Happy Hogan: Hey, if it wasn't for those stupid videos, Spider-Man would've never found you.] Spider-Man– Spider-Man follows me?! I saved us, guys!"

"Over five years ago, half of all life in the universe, including our own Midtown High, was wiped from existence. But then, eight months ago, a band of brave heroes brought us back. They called it the Blip. Those of us who blipped away came back the same age. But our classmates that didn't blip had grown five years older. [Jason Ionello: Yeah, like, my little brother is now older than me.] Yeah, it's math. And even though we had blipped away halfway through the school year, and had already taken midterms, the school made us start the whole year over from the beginning. [Jason Ionello: It's totally unfair. It's not right.] Tigers, it's been a long, dramatic, somewhat confusing road. As we draw this year to a close, it's time to move on to a new phase of our lives."

"Pray nothing crazy happens again. Because are the Avengers even like a thing anymore? Does anyone even have a plan?"

"It's easy to fool people when they're already fooling themselves. But for what it's worth, Peter– I really am sorry."

"I don't think you know what's real, Peter. You need to wake up! I mean, look at yourself. You are just a scared little kid in a sweatsuit! I created Mysterio to give the world someone to believe in! I control the truth! Mysterio is the truth! If you were good enough, maybe Tony would still be alive. Deep down, you know I'm right. You made your choice, and all you had to do was step aside. And now you have– [Gets shot in the back by Fury]"

"[Last words] You'll see, Peter. People, they need to believe. And nowadays... they'll believe anything."

"[Betty Brant: Who is that guy?] [Brad Davis: He's like Iron Man and Thor rolled into one.] He's alright. He's no Spider-Man. [MJ: What is it with you and Spider-Man?] What? He's just awesome, okay? He protects the neighborhood and, you know, he's inspiring. He inspires me to be a better man. [To Peter] 'Sup, dickwad? Thought you drowned."

"Take off your clothes. [Peter Parker: Excuse me?] You told Fury Spider-Man cannot be seen in Europe. So I made you this: another suit."

"Let's go. Where are your bags? Oh, right. They got blown up."

"[learning that one of his drones is missing a projector] That projector is evidence! It's going to tell people what we're doing and how we're doing it. I am trying to fool seven billion people here, including Nick Fury, who happens to be the most paranoid and most dangerous person on the planet. And if he catches on before I've killed him, then he will put a bullet in my head. And nobody wants a bullet in their head, right? [his drones take aim at his crew] Right?!"

"There is a window of opportunity, and someone will step up. But these days, you can be the smartest guy in the room, the most qualified, and no one cares. Unless you're flying around with a cape, or shooting lasers with your hands, no one will even listen. Well, I've got a cape and lasers. With our technology, and with E.D.I.T.H., Mysterio will be the greatest hero on Earth! And then everyone will listen! Not to a boozy manchild! Not to a hormonal teenager! To me! And to my very wealthy crew."

"Hungry? [Throws a banana at Peter which hits him in the face] Oh, so sorry. I thought that you could sense that with your Peter-Tingle. [Peter Parker: Please do not start calling it my "Peter-Tingle".]"

"Toni Garrn as Seamstress"

"E.D.I.T.H. stands for "Even Dead, I'm the Hero." Tony loved his acronyms. [Peter Parker: Yeah, he did.]"

"Peter Billingsley as William Ginter Riva"

"[Last lines] Everybody back to work! Who's got my shoes?"

"[After shooting Ned in the neck with a tranquilizer gun] You're a very difficult person to contact, Spider-Man."

"I used to know everything. Then I come back five years later, and now I know nothing. No intel, no team, and a high school kid is dodging my calls."

"I've kept my identity pretty guarded these past couple of years. I've faced a lot of deception, and I'm tired of the lies. So it's time for the truth to be out there. Are you dating?"