"[Rachel wants to have sex in a park late at night] We've got a flat. It's a good one. And I've confiscated your mother's key so she can't sneak up on us anymore. I swear that woman's got a sex radar."

"Well, let's hang these flowers and get that jacket in some water."

"[to Rachel] You know I want you to be happy. And more than anything, I wanted to be the cause of happiness in you."

"I think you know immediately. As soon as your eyes meet... Then everything that happens from then on just proves that you have been right in that first moment. When you suddenly realize that you were incomplete and now you are whole..."

"You're a wanker, number nine!"

"[reading to coworkers] In her acceptance speech, the distinguished scientist paid tribute to her husband, Dr. Chris Davis. Tomorrow the pair celebrate their 42nd wedding anniversary after eloping together on the day they met. When asked how they could possibly have known that it would all work out, Professor Harrison replied in true scientific fashion: "We don't know, you can never be sure. But you take the plunge anyway. Sure is for people who don't love enough.""

"You make me feel something I absolutely cannot feel."

"Austin Pendleton — Frederick Larrabee"

"There is an old Croatian saying, Bollixter, which goes..."

"Don’t you know the meaning of propriety?"

"Don't kick those rocks, you Philistine!"

"Why, those are Howard's. What on Earth are you doing with Howard Bannister's rocks?"

"The point is, the point is... oh god, I've forgotten my point."

"Well, there's not much to see actually, we're inside a Chinese dragon."

"It's the television set, Eunice. There's a movie on—a war movie. They're getting dressed for the big battle."

"...you are not Burnsy. Burnsy is Burnsy, I mean Eunice is Burnsy, I mean she isn't Burnsy. Nobody is Burnsy."

"Why Ms. Burns, what are you doing in Mr. Banister's bedroom? Don't you know the meaning of propriety?"

"What do you think I am, a piece of ripe fruit you can squeeze the juice out of and cast aside?"

"Hi, Room Service, this is Room 1717. I would like a double-thick roast beef sandwich medium rare on rye bread with mustard on the top, mayonnaise on the bottom, and a coffee hot fudge sundae with a large bottle of diet anything. You got that? Yeah, Room 1717. Oh, and Room Service, would you put it in the hall outside the door. I mean, don’t bring it in or knock on the door because I’m just putting my little one to sleep. Thank you."

"It so happens, Mr. Simon, that Howard has had discussions with Leonard Bernstein about the possibility of conducting an avalanche ... in E flat."

"I love those old Ventegums."

"Eunice!? This is a person named Eunice?"

"...not as much as I am in the metamorphic or sedimentary rock categories. I mean I can take your igneous rocks or leave them. I relate primarily to micas, quartz, feldspar. You can keep your pyroxenes, magnetites and coarse-grained plutonics as far as I'm concerned..."

"Jennifer Tisdale as cardreader girl"

"Radio Man as himself"

"John McEnroe as himself"

"Blake Clark as Buddy Ward"

"Brandon Molale as Kevin Ward"

"Steve Buscemi as Crazy Eyes"

"Harve Presnell as Preston Blake"

"Conchata Ferrell as Jan"

"Peter Dante as Murph"

"Rob Schneider as Nazo"

"Erick Avari as Cecil Anderson"

"Jared Harris as Mac McGrath"