"Can I come to your room sometime for a chat? I could give you a blowjob. Or you could just fuck me. I always swallow after fellatio and I've got absolutely no problem with anal sex if that's your thing. My ex-husband always used to say I had the most beautiful thighs he'd ever seen, but let's not talk about him."

"Rachel Weisz - Shortsighted Woman"

"Léa Seydoux - Loner Leader"

"Loner Leader: We dance alone. That's why we only play electronic music."

"Trainer Waiter - Shooting Range: It's no coincidence that the targets are shaped like single people and not couples."

"The Limping Man: Hello everyone. My mother was left on her own when my father fell in love with a woman who was better at math than she was. She had a post graduate degree I think, whereas my mother was only a graduate. I was nineteen at the time. My mother entered the hotel, but didn't make it and was turned into a wolf. I really missed her. I found out she had been moved to a zoo. I often went there to see her. I'd give her raw meat. I knew that wolves liked raw meat, but I couldn't figure out which of the wolves was my mother so I used to give a little bit to each of them. One day I decided to enter the enclosure. I really missed her and I wanted a hug. I climbed the fence and jumped in. All the wolves charged at once and attacked me; all but two who stood motionless. My guess is that one of those two must have been my mother. The zoo guards got to me quite quickly and took me to the hospital. Thankfully I didn't lose my leg. I just have this limp, which is also my defining characteristic. My wife died six days ago. She was very beautiful and I loved her very much. She had a limp too."

"Ewen MacIntosh - Hotel Guard"

"Michael Smiley - Loner Swimmer"

"Ben Whishaw - Limping Man (John)"

"Jessica Barden - Nosebleed Woman"

"Olivia Colman - Hotel Manager"

"Ashley Jensen - Biscuit Woman"

"Roger Ashton-Griffiths - Doctor"

"John C. Reilly - Lisping Man (Robert)"

"Nosebleed Woman: I'm sorry, I've got blood on your shirt. But don't worry, there are many ways to remove bloodstains from clothing. One way is to rinse the clothes with cold water then rub with sea salt. Another way is to scrub the stains with cotton wool dipped in ammonia. The third way is to mix flour and water into a paste, like toothpaste, especially if the clothes are delicate or brightly coloured. But just never use warm water on blood, ever."

"Colin Farrell - David"

"Angeliki Papoulia - Heartless Woman"

"Ariane Labed - the Maid"

"Leon Belasco — Yusef"

"It's a Harem-Scarem Riot of Song and Laughter!"

"Mikhail Rasumny — Ahmed Fey"

"Bing Crosby — Jeff Peters"

"Dorothy Lamour — Princess Shalmar"

"Bob Hope — Orville "Turkey" Jackson"

"George Givot — Neb Jolla"

"Greta Granstedt — Babe"

"Edward Gargan — Bill"

"[seeing the desert for the first time] This must be the place where they empty all the old hourglasses."

"Pedro Regas — Zato"

"Pierre Watkin — Morgan Wycott"

"Gaylord Pendleton — Gordon Wycott"

"Miles Mander — Sir Malcolm Drake"

"[Turkey Jackson is frightened when a camel sneaks up behind them] What are you yelling about? It's only a kangaroo!"

"Judith Barrett — Gloria Wycott"

"Anthony Quinn — Caesar"

"Johnny Arthur — Timothy Willow"

"Jerry Colonna — Achilles Bombanassa"

"Anthony Quinn — Mullay Kasim"

"Male Camel: This is the screwiest picture I was ever in."

"When BING and Bob meet Dot...those torrid tropics sure get hot! Together for the first time on screen, Bing and Bob, the aces of the airwaves, with lovely Dorothy Lamour in a riot of tropical rhythm and South Sea laughter"

"Ready For Fun...Fight...or a South Seas Romance! They find them all on the..."

"Those Sun-bronzed Sirens of the Southern Seas weave a romantic spell around three great stars...Bing Crosby, Dorothy Lamour, Bob Hope On the merry, tuneful, torrid "Road to Singapore.""

"Bing Crosby — Josh Mallon V"

"Joshua Mallon IV: Now look here, Josh, I'd like to sit on a coral reef and play a ukulele myself. But, we are Mallons."

"Gloria Wycott: Charming view. I imagine on a clear day, one could see the cannibals eating a missionary!"

"Dorothy Lamour — Mima"

"Gordon Wycott: You've got to bring him back on his hands and knees, even if you have to break his neck to do it."

"Oh, I'm famished! I'm so hungry my spare tire's deflated. Well, pretty near."

"Bob Hope — Ace Lannigan"

"Vladimir Sokoloff — Hyder Khan"