"I've got an idea. Why don't you sit down at your desk and write down all your complaints, and when I come back, we can have one of those long arguments you like so much."

"What is that, some sort of Latin concept, killing the one you love?"

"Jack Nicholson - Alex Gates"

"Burt Kwouk - Cato Fong"

"Peter Sellers - Insp. Jacques Clouseau"

"Herbert Lom - Chief Insp. Charles Dreyfus"

"Christopher Plummer - Sir Charles Lytton"

"HE'S BACK...no risk is too daring...No caper is too exotic...No crime is too dangerous."

"Catherine Schell - Lady Claudine Lytton"

"You can rest assured that there's trouble, because Inspector Clouseau is on the case. (That's the trouble.)"

"[to a taxi driver]: Follow that car! [driver gets out of the taxi and follows the car]"

"I did not know the bank was being robbed because I was engaged in my sworn duty as a police officer."

"I arrest you, Sir Charles Phantom, the notorious pink Lytton."

"[after inadvertently destroying much of the hotel he is in]: I must leave. Zis Hotel is deteriorating rapidly."

"You fool! You raving Oriental idiot! There is a time and a place for everything, Cato! ...and this is it!!"

"I see you are familiar with the falling-down-on-the-floor ploy."

"Now he's off to Gstaad. Today... a paradise in the Swiss Alps; tomorrow... a wasteland! Compared to Clouseau, Attila the Hun was a Red Cross volunteer!"

"Valet, this is Inspector Clouseau. Please send up my... well, please send down my brown suit immediately. As quick as you can. Quicker, please!"

"[to Francois, after accidentally shooting himself in the face] Don't just stand there, idiot. Call a doctor, and then help me find my nose!!"

"I am a musician and the monkey is a businessman. He doesn't tell me what to play, and I don't tell him what to do with his money."

"Leonard Gaines - Mr. Bird, IRS Man"

"Milton Selzer - Sumabitch"

"Sammy Warren as Barney"

"Harry Northrup as Hank"