"Springtime for Hitler and Germany (two rifle shots) Goosestep's the new step today. (machine-gun fire) Bombs falling from the skies again (explosion) Deutschland is on the rise again! Springtime for Hitler and Germany U-boats are sailing once more. Springtime for Hitler and Germany Means that soon we'll be going to war!"

"Don't be stupid! Be a smartie! Come and join the Nazi Party!"

"I was born in Dusseldorf, and that is why they call me Rolf!"

"Springtime for Hitler and Germany Deutschland is happy and gay. We're marching to a faster pace Look out, here comes the master race! Springtime for Hitler and Germany Winter for Poland and France. Springtime for Hitler and Germany Come on, Germans, go into your dance."

"You lousy fruit! You RUINED ME!!"

"Next time I produce a play, no author."

"Bloom, look at me. Look at me, Bloom! Bloom, I'm drowning. Other men sail through life. Bialystock has struck a reef. Bloom, I'm going under. I'm being sunk by a society that demands success when all I can offer is failure. Bloom, I'm reaching out to you. Don't send me to prison. [bellowing] HELP!!!"

"How could this happen? I was so careful. I picked the wrong play, the wrong director, the wrong cast. Where did I go right?"

"That's exactly why we want to produce this play. To show the world the true Hitler, the Hitler you loved, the Hitler you knew, the Hitler with a song in his heart."

"That's it, baby, when you've got it, flaunt it, flaunt it!"

"How humiliating. Max Bialystock. Max Bialystock. You know who I used to be? Max Bialystock! King of Broadway! Six shows running at once! Lunch at Delmonico's. $200 suits. You see this? This once held a pearl as big as your eye! Look at me now. LOOK AT ME NOW! I'm wearing a cardboard belt! I used to have thousands of investors begging, pleading to put their money in a Max Bialystock production. Look at my investors now. [He opens a cabinet with pictures of wealthy, elderly women] Voila! Hundreds of little old ladies stopping off at Max Bialystock's office to grab a last thrill on the way to the cemetery! [To Leo] You have exactly 10 seconds to change that look of disgusting pity into one of enormous respect. One, two... Do the books. Do the books...Window's so filthy, can't tell whether it's day or night out there."

"Go away, go away. You frighten me."

"You're gonna jump on me."

"Let's assume, just for the moment, that you are a dishonest man."

"Max! Please don't say that word again."

"It's just that I've had it ever since I was a baby, and I find it very comforting."

"GIMME MY BLUE BLANKET!!!"

"Mr. Bialystock, I cannot FUNCTION under these conditions! [pulls out his blue blanket and hugs it] You're making me extremely nervous."

"[first lines] What makes you happy? What makes you happy? Where do you go? Where do you go? Where do you hide? Where do you hide? Who do you see? Who do you see? Who do you trust? Who do you trust? Who do you screw? Who do you screw? What kills the pain? What kills the pain? Game up, game win. Bug around, set it straight. Transaction. Play it hard, hurts so bad. Gotta win. Everyone loses. Everything loses. Gotta win big. Sick and tired of losing. Where does it all go? Where does it all go? Where does it lead us? Where does it lead us? Tilt City, Pinball Alley. Blinkin' lights shot to Hell, fuck it all!"

"Mick Jagger I'm not!"

"[after accidentally knocking Rosalyn off the roof] She had it coming."

"It's animated, but it's not a cartoon. It's funny, but it's not a comedy. It's real. It's unreal. It's heavy. Heavy Traffic."

"More Spice from the makers of Fritz the Cat!"

"Heavy Entertainment!"

"The amorous life and misadventures of a virginal young pinball player...his Chicks...his Chums and a host of assorted weirdos in all colors."

"Bongo: Sonofabitch... this broad's got a hard-on!"

"Rosalyn Schecter: What do you think of my tits, Michael?"

"The funniest picture this year!"

"The store with more."

"A sensuous story of natural love."

"[from trailer] Imagine a boy who didn't know he had become a man. Imagine a girl who did know she had become a woman. Imagine two people who knew nothing about love - and so knew everything."

"Gus Mercurio - Officer"

"Alan Hopgood - Captain"

"William Daniels - Arthur Lestrange"

"Leo McKern - Paddy Button"