"No, no, no, no. I'm too young to be a grandmother. Grandmothers are old. They bake, and they sew, and they tell you stories about the Depression. I was at Woodstock, for Christ's sake! I peed in a field! I hung on to The Who's helicopter as it flew away!"

"[Helen is trying to talk with Garry about his sex tapes] l assume you're watching these because you're curious about sex... you know. Or filmmaking."

"Open this door! Goddamnit to hell! I was just like a little respect! Not alot, just a little! Do you know why I'm having sex with machinery? Because your father went to have a party and I stayed to raise two kids, and I HAVE NO LIFE!!!!!!!!"

"[to Nathan] Keep Patty away from Larry. He'll suck the intelligence right out of her."

"Nathan, we're trying so hard to keep these kids off of drugs."

"You know, Mrs. Buckman, you need a license to buy a dog, to drive a car - hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they'll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father."

"That is one messed-up little dude."

"They call me Cowboy Gil, as in guil-ty. I saw Cowboy Dan. I didn't like the look on his face. It was like this...[smiles goofily] ... so I killed him. I blew a hole in him this big. Actually it was about this big. You know, when I think about it, that hole was about THIS BIG! And his guts were spilled out all over the floor. As I was walkin' away, I slip around on his guts. A couple of other people came by and started slippin' on his guts too. After I blow a hole in somebody and slip around on their guts... afterwards, I always like to make balloon animals. That's mighty courteous of you. Here we go! [starts twisting balloons and then when he finishes, he holds up jumbled bunch of twisted balloons] Your lower intestines."

"My whole life is have to..."

"Susan Buckman: Frank & Marilyn's second daughter (3rd child)"

"Karen Buckman: Gil's wife"

"Gil Buckman: Frank & Marilyn's first son (2nd child)"

"George Bowman: Helen's 2nd husband"

"Helen Buckman-Lampkin: Frank & Marilyn's first daughter (1st child)"

"Marilyn Buckman: Frank's wife"

"Frank Buckman"

"Helen Shaw - Grandma"

"Leaf Phoenix - Garry Lampkin"

"Dennis Dugan - Dave Brodsky"

"Harley Kozak - Susan Buckman-Huffner"

"Keanu Reeves - Tod Higgins"

"James Greene as Bile"

"You can't keep me from learning. You can't keep me from studying. So you have a choice-- you could have me as a professional colleague... passionate... or you can have me as an outspoken outsider, still adamant. Either way, I'll probably still be viewed as a thorn. But I promise you one thing. I am a thorn that will not go away. ... You done? I hope not, sir. We will adjourn briefly then."

"Laughter is contagious."

"Based On A True Story."

"Douglas Roberts as Lawrence "Larry" Silver"

"Richard Kiley as Dr. Titan"

"Steven Anthony Jones as Charlie"