"Folks! What can I tell you about my next guest? This cat allowed himself to be adored, but not loved. And his success in show business was matched by failure in his personal relationship bag, now — that's where he really bombed. And he came to believe that work, show business, love, his whole life, even himself and all that jazz, was bullshit. He became numero uno game player — uh, to the point where he didn't know where the games ended and the reality began. Like, for this cat, the only reality — is death, man. Ladies and gentlemen, let me lay on you a so-so entertainer, not much of a humanitarian, and this cat was never nobody's friend. In his final appearance on the great stage of life — uh, you can applaud if you wanna — Mr. Joe Gideon!"

"[singing] Give it to me! Bye bye life, Bye bye happiness, hello loneliness, I think he's gonna die. Bye bye life, Bye bye happiness, Hello emptiness, I think he's gonna die. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Goodbye your life, goodbye."

"Audrey Paris: You see, Sammy, in California everybody needs a car. I got a friend who bought a Mercedes just to get to the bathroom."

"Davis Newman: This chick, man, without the benefit of dying herself, has broken down the process of death into five stages: anger, denial, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Sounds like a Jewish law firm. "Good morning, Angerdenialbargainingdepressionacceptance!""

"Davis Newman: There's all this bullshit about death with dignity. You know what death with dignity is, man? You don't drool."

"All that work. All that glitter. All that pain. All that love. All that crazy rhythm. All that jazz."

"Roy Scheider - Joe Gideon"

"Jessica Lange - Angelique"

"Leland Palmer - Audrey Paris"

"Ann Reinking - Kate Jagger"

"Cliff Gorman - David Newman"

"He's Expecting You."

"Lois Kelly-Miller - Jamaican Woman."

"David S. Howard - Eddie Sloane"

"Jeffrey Tambor - Quince"

"Don't blow smoke up my ass, you'll ruin my autopsy."

"When I introduce you, and I tell them who you are, I don't think anyone will stay for dinner."

"Love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without. I say fall head over heels, find someone you can love like crazy and who'll love you the same way back. How do you find him? Well, you forget your head and you listen to your heart and I'm not hearing any heart. Because, the truth is there is no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love - well, you haven't lived a life at all. But you have to try, because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived... Stay open, who knows? Lightning could strike."

"I thought I was going to sneak away tonight. What a glorious night! Every face I see is a memory. It may not be a perfectly... perfect memory. Sometimes we've had our ups and downs, but we're all together, And you're mine, for a night. And I'm going to break precedence and tell you my one candle wish: that you would have a life as lucky as mine, where you can wake up one morning and say, "I don't want anything more." 65 years... Don't they go by in a blink?"

"My wife turned me on to cold lamb sandwiches. Not as chewy as roast beef. Not as boring as chicken. She knew stuff like that."

"You never know, lightning could strike."

"I want you to sing with rapture and dance like a dervish."

"You're not Death. You're just a kid in a suit."

"Thank you, Drew. Yeah. I did enjoy—or rather I was interested in meeting John Bontecou, yesterday. And—impressive, I suppose. But... But, it did get me to thinking. See, I started in this business because this is what I wanted to do. I knew I wasn't going to write the great American novel, but I also knew there was more to life than buying something for a dollar and selling it for two. I'd hoped to create something, something which could be held to the highest standards. And what I realized was I wanted to give the news to the world, and I wanted to give it unvarnished. The more we all know about each other, the greater the chance we will survive. Sure, I want to make a profit. You can't exist without one. But John Bontecou is all profit. Now if we give him license to absorb Parrish Communications, and he has his eye on a few others after us, in order to reach the world you will have to go through John Bontecou. And not only will you have to pay him to do this, far more important, you'll have to agree with him. Reporting the news is a privilege and a responsibility, and it is not exploitable. Parrish Communications has earned this privilege. John Bontecou wants to buy it. As your Chairman, I urge you to agree this company is not for sale."

"Easy Bill, you'll give yourself a heart attack and ruin my vacation."

"Thank you for loving me."

"I can't believe you people. I come for you, and you want to stay, I let you stay and you want to go."

"Make no mistake, should you choose to test my resolve in this matter, you will be looking at an outcome that will have a finality that is beyond your comprehension, and you will not be counting the days, or the months, or the years, but millenniums, in a place with no doors."

"You got enough nice pictures?"

"Hello Bill."

"Do you have any peanut butter?"

"Allison: I should have my head examined again."

"Susan Parrish: Love, passion, obsession, all those things you told me to wait for, well, they've arrived. What are you afraid of, Dad? That I'll fall head over heels for Joe? Well, I have."

"Jamaican Woman: It nice it happen to you. Like you come to the island and had a holiday. Sun didn't burn you red-red, just brown. You sleep and no mosquito eat you. But the truth is, it bound to happen if you stay long enough. So take that nice picture you got in your head home with you, but don't be fooled. We lonely here mostly too. If we lucky, maybe, we got some nice pictures to take with us."

"No one can die - while he loves!"

"Marcia Gay Harden - Allison Parrish"

"Jake Weber - Drew"

"Claire Forlani - Susan Parrish"

"Anthony Hopkins - William Parrish"

"Brad Pitt - Joe Black"

"Meet Joe Black: Sooner or Later Everyone Does."

"[Speaking to God] I know I'm not one of Your favorites, and I'm not welcome in Your house, but I could use a little attention, please."

"You don't need His protection. It'll be like back in the day."

"[Flips off demon] For your boss."

"Heaven and hell are right here, behind every wall, every window, the world behind the world. And we're smack in the middle."

"Angels and demons can't cross over into our plane. So instead we get what I call "half-breeds". The influence peddlers. They can only whisper in our ears. A single word can give you courage, or turn your favorite pleasure into your worst nightmare. Those with the demon's touch and those part angel, living alongside us. They call it The Balance. I call it hypocritical bullshit."

"He always had a rotten sense of humor. And His punchlines are killers."