"[upon meeting Milo Thatch for the first time] Milo Thatch. Pleasure to meet the grandson of old Thaddeus. I see you got the journal. Nice pictures, but, I prefer a good western myself."

"Yes, this should be enriching for all of us."

"[The Leviathan attacks the submarine] Tell Cookie to melt the butter and break out the bibs, I want this lobster served up on a silver platter."

"[repeated line] Lieutenant!"

"Seven hours ago, we started this expedition with 200 of the finest men and women I've ever known. We're all that's left. I won't sugar-coat it, gentlemen - we've got a crisis on our hands. But we've been up this particular creek before and we've always come through, paddle or no paddle. I see no reason to change that policy now. From here on in, everyone pulls double duty. Everyone drives, everyone works. Looks like all our chances rest with you, Mister Thatch. You and that little book."

"Like a kid at Christmas."

"This changes nothing."

"Academics, you never want to get your hands dirty. Think about it: if you gave back every stolen artifact from a museum, you'd be left with an empty building; we're just providing a necessary service to the archaeological community."

"I gotta admit I'm disappointed, you're an idealist just like your grandfather. Do yourself a favor, Milo, don't be like him; for once, do the smart thing."

"[to Milo, about to leave him in a dying Atlantis, just after punching Milo] Look at it this way, son; you're the man who discovered Atlantis and now you're part of the exhibit."

"I love it when I win."

"We're losing altitude, lighten the load."

"[After throwing Helga overboard] Nothing personal!"

"[to Milo] Well, I have to hand it to you, you're a bigger pain in the neck than I would've ever thought possible. I consider myself an even-tempered man, takes a lot to get under my skin, but congratulations: you just won the solid-gold kewpie doll."

"[last words] Tired, Mr. Thatch? Aw, that's a darn shame, cause I'm just getting warmed up!"

"[To Milo] Uh oh. Sat in the dirt, didn't you? [To Gaetan Molière] Moliere, now what have I told you about playing nice with other kids? [Mole tries to protest] Get back! I've got soap, and I'm not afraid to use it. [Gaetan Molière hisses and fleas to the top bunk] Back, foul creature! Back to the pit from whence you came!"

"Me? I hate fishing, I hate fish, hate the taste, hate the smell, and hate all them little bones."

"[after Milo asks about Mole] Trust me on this, you don't wanna know. Audrey, don't tell him. You shouldn't a told me, but you did, and now I'm tellin' you, you don't wanna know."

"I got a sheepskin from Howard U and a bearskin from Old Iron Cloud."

"[They eventually see Atlantis and are awestruck by it] Milo, I got to hand it to you, you really came through. [they are suddenly ambushed by Kida's hunting party] Uh, I take that back!"

"[clapping, to Kida after she punches out Mole] Ooh, I like her!"

"[To Rourke, who just punched King Kashekim senseless] Rourke, this was not apart of the plan!"

"Of course, it's been my experience, when you've hit the bottom, the only place left to go is up."

"Hey, junior. If you're looking for the pony rides, they're back there."

"[Upon being asked what he was bringing aboard] Oh, eh...Gunpowder, nitroglycerin, notepads, fuses, wicks, glue, and paper clips. Big ones. You know, just, uh, office supplies."

"[About the Leviathan] With something like that, I would have white wine, I think."

"Hey, look, I made a bridge. And only took me like, what, ten seconds. Eleven, tops."

"[About glowing firefly hive] That thing is going to keep me up all night, I know it..."

"Well, as far as me goes...I just like to blow things up."

"My family owned a flower shop. We would sell roses, carnations, baby's breath, you name it. One day, I'm making about three dozen corsages for this prom, you know, the one they put on the wrist, and everybody, they come. "Where is it?", "When is it?", "Does it match my dress?" It's a nightmare. Anyway, I guess there was this leak next door of gas or what, boom! No more Chinese laundry. Blew me right through the front window. [Lights match] It was like a sign from God. I found myself in that boom."

"We done a lot of things we're not proud of. [counting off on his fingers] Robbing graves, eh, plundering tombs, double-parking. But, nobody got hurt. Well, maybe somebody got hurt, but nobody we knew."

"[To Milo] You know, I'm gonna re-open a flower shop, and I'm gonna think you guys every single day. Monday through Friday 9:00 and 5:00, Saturday till 2:00. Sunday, I'm going to take Sunday off probably, and Maybe I'll go for a couple of hours, you know, but... August, I'm going to take August."

"[First line] You...have disturbed...the dirt..."

"You have disturbed the dirt! Dirt from around the globe, spanning the centuries! Ack! What have you done?! England must never merge with France!"

"[on various occasions] I'm so excited...!"

"You said there would be digging!"

"[Upon examining dirt from under Milo's fingernails] Ah! There you are! Now tell me your story my little friend...Parchment fiber from the Nile Delta circa 500 BC, lead pencil no. 2, paint flecks of a type used in government buildings, you have a cat, short hair Persian, two years old, third in a litter of seven. These are all the microscopic fingerprints of the mapmaker. [licks it twice] And [menacingly] linguist."

"It is a natural Phosphorescene."

"[About Milo, who is being awkward and shy while trying to make a presentation about Atlantis] Jeez, I used to take lunch money from guys like this."

"I took this job when my dad retired...but the funny thing was he always wanted sons, right? One to run his machine shop, and the other to be middle-weight boxing champion! But, he got my sister and me instead. [Milo asks about her sister] She's 24 and 0 with a shot at the title next month...anyway, I'm saving up so my papí and I can open another shop."

"Two for flinching!"

"[but over the PA system] Attention. Tonight's supper will be baked beans. Musical program to follow... Who wrote this?"

"[to her friend Margie] So I says to him, "What's wrong with my meatloaf?" and he says to me...oh, hold on a second Margie, I've got another call. Sir, we're approaching coordinates. Hello, Margie? Yes, so anyways, he says to me..."

"[to her friend Margie] And he took his suitcase? Marge, honey, I don't think he's coming back!"

"[On the PA system] Attention. All hands to the launch bay. To whoever took the "L" from the "Motor Pool" sign, ha-ha, we are all very amused."

"[repeated line] We're all gonna die."

"Commander, I think you should hear this...Commander...Commander...Commander...Commander..."

"You wanna do my job? Be my guest."

"I got the same problem with sauerkraut"

"Wow. I'm impressed."