"Now, this winter has been especially cruel. A few weeks back, I... sent a group of men out — nearby town to look for food. Only a few came back. They said that the other had been... slaughtered by a crazy man. And get this — he's a crazy man travelin' with a little girl. You see? Everything happens for a reason."

"You're lucky you're still drawing breath. That was plan A, B, C, all the way to fuckin' Z!"

"You know, as bad as those things are, at least they're predictable. It's the normal people that scare me."

"Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, I had somebody that I cared about. [beat] It was a partner.... Somebody I had to look after. And in this world, that sort of shit's good for one thing — gettin' ya killed. So you know what I did? I wisened the fuck up. And I realized it's gotta be just me."

"I will not turn into one of those things. [beat] Come on. Make this easy for me."

"We're not murderers. We just survive."

"I'm gonna find...and I'm gonna kill...Every. Last. One of them."

"Daniel Zager: [a quote in text] "I used to get angry 'cause I thought my government wasn't listening to me. Now I'm angry 'cause I know they are.""

"Punio: Elder! We're back! We're here to rescue you!"

"Punio: Elder!"

"Kammy: Lord Bowser! Terrible news! Some bold fool abducted Princess Peach in Rogueport!"

"Hammer Bro: Lord Bowser! I have been training day and night to help you conquer the world! Should the time come, I shall be ready! Order me as you please, your Surliness!"

"TEC: Hello, Princess Peach."

"X-Naut: O great, exalted Grodus! We brought the Princess Peach you ordered, sir!"

"Koopley: (Emerging from Hooktail's mouth) YAAAAAAAAH! I'm out! I'm finally out!"

"Koops: Oh... Golly... Umm... Hi... Hi, Koopie... Koopie Koo... Did you overhear all that?"

"Koops: Umm... excuse me! Err... I beg your pardon! Wait a moment, PLEASE!!! [Walks up to Mario] Pardon me for yelling like that... I was panicking. Umm... How to begin? M-My name's... Koops. I heard you're traveling to Hooktail's castle. So, anyway, I, uh... I have a favor to ask. [Long pause] Well... Ummmm... Oh, just... Just forget it. Never mind. Ignore me. Good... Good-bye. [Turns to leave]"

"Dupree: Honh honh! Mademoiselle! Well! You could not forget me after all, oh? Such burning persistence. Thees eez why I adore you. Ah, cheri. My love... When my mind turns to you, I feel the moths of love flutter een my belly button!"

"Jerry: It is now my goal in life to keep this guy from ever dressing as a woman again."

"Blooey: Hey there, I'm Blooey. ...And this guy [Luigi] is a total liar! Don't listen to him! You heard his story, right? Well, he did TRY to throw me, but he completely tripped! And what happens? I end up landing in lava! LAVA, man! You think that feels good? Thanks to him, you can stick a fork in me! I'm well-done! My pale skin's crispified! I'll NEVER forgive this guy! I'm gonna make him pay if it takes my whole lifetime! That's the ONLY reason I'm still hanging around with him. YOU'LL PAY, LUIGI!"

"Rawk Hawk: Rawk out, Great Gonzales!!! RAAAAAAAAAAAAWK! Listen to me, Gonzales! Anybody who's beat me is not ALLOWED to lose!!!"

"Cotrtez: I'll turn your mustache into a bone-polisher, amigo!"

"Punio: There! Can you see it? That big tree... That's what I was telling you about. That's where we Punies live. That's home. Uh, of course, it's not just us in the tree. Lots of Jabbies and Piders, too. Well, anyway, Mario... Follow me!"

"TEC: I am this laboratory's main computer. I am the TEC-XX. Many call me TEC. You may."

"Shadow Queen: You would do well to learn your proper place, slave. No one commands me."

"Lord Crump: Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh! I'm gonna turn you guys into wee seeds... Wait, that's not right. I'll turn you into SEAWEED! Buh huh! Enjoy!"

"Sir Grodus: Trust me, it's very much in your interest to be absolutely honest with us. We X-Nauts are not all rainbows and lollipops, I assure you. We're quite nasty."

"Lord Crump: And with that... pow! I'm gone!"

"Doopliss: So, you figured it out by now, right, Slick? Your body and name belong to me now!"

"Why are we even talking about this? NEVER!"

"Mario, what should we do? We could be finished..."

"What? This isn't very fair! All this and Bowser, too?!?"

"No! So the last Crystal Star we found on the moon... We were so blind!"

"So, this fellow is the leader of those X-Nauts?"

"This room gives me a very bad feeling, dearie. What IS this chamber?"

"What an unpleasant place... but we don't have a choice in the matter! We have to get in there and save Peach before this gets any more out of hand! Let's go, dearie!"

"Oh, my! That was quite fun! I can't say I ever thought I'd take a ride like THAT!"

"What IS that vile thing? ...Oh, no! Mario, look! It's got the other passengers!"

"Mmm, the beginning of a new day... And such a cool and brisk morning, as well!"

"Mmmm... the Excess Express! Now this is what I call travelling in style! The three days to Poshley heights will be over before we know it, dearie!"

"Oh, I do NOT think that's a good idea! Do you know him? He is NOT one to mess with! ...Ah, well. If we have to, then I'm in, but it could get ugly. Come on, Mario. Let's go."

"You know, I had heard that one must be rich or famous to ride the Excess Express..."

"Well? Don't tease us, Professor. How do we get there from here?"

"Hey... Isn't that place simply BURSTING with the rich and famous? Excellent."

"OK, then! Now we must go see Professor Frankly."

""You out there in front of the TV"? I think that man might have the sea madness."

"I can't believe there are other thieves here besides me. How very strange..."

"Serve a witch? My Scarlette would be rather angry with me, I should think..."

"Mario, what's next, old boy? This looks rather dire..."

"Hm?!? Where's Grodus?!?"