Actors From England

"I tried to bang Ray in my house, and bloody there was somebody already in there."

"Jack's got an arsehole like a clown's pocket."

"Monty, I'm not attracted to dudes. But if I had a boner for you, it's really trying right now."

"Lord Fancourt: Look here, am I any relation to him? Jack: No; you're Charley's Aunt, from Brazil. Lord Fancourt: Brazil! Where's that? Jack: You know–er–where the nuts come from."

"From forty till fifty a man is at heart either a stoic or a satyr."

"Now for something completely different..."

"Here's one I made earlier."

"I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind I'll do it all for you in time And out of all these things I've done I think I love you better now."

"That's you now, hello, ciao. Seems that life is great now. See me lose focus, as I sing to you loud. I can't, no, I won't hush. I'll say the words that make you blush. I'm gonna sing this now. See, I'm true, my songs are where my heart is."

"Give me love, like her Cos lately I've been waking up alone. The pain splatters teardrops on my shirt. I told you I'd let them go."

"You were just a Small Bump unborn, in Four months you're brought to life. You might be left with my hair, but you'll have your Mother's eyes. I'll hold your body in my hands be as gentle as I can, but for now you're a scan of my unmade plans. Small bump, four months you are brought to life."

"I'm gonna pick up the pieces, and build a Lego house. When things go wrong we can knock it down."

"And they say She's in the Class A Team. Stuck in her daydream, Been this way since 18. But lately her face seems Slowly sinking, wasting, Crumbling like pastries. And they scream The worst things in life come free to us. Cos we're just under the upperhand And go mad for a couple of grams. And she don't want to go outside tonight. And in a pipe she flies to the Motherland Or sells love to another man. It's too cold outside For angels to fly; Angels to fly."

"I wanna be drunk when I wake up On the right side of the wrong bed. And every excuse I made up Tell you the truth I hate. What didn't kill me, It never made me stronger at all."

"'Cause maybe you're loveable. Maybe you're my snowflake. And your eyes turn from green to gray. And in the winter I'll hold you in a cold place. And you should never cut your hair, 'Cause I love the way you flick it off your shoulder.And you will never know Just how beautiful you are to me. But maybe I'm just in love When you wake me up."

"I think a comedian's job isn't just to make people laugh. I think it's to make people think."

"If humanity was , the Earth would return to a paradise in a few hundred years. If we lose bees, we’re a desert, forever. We’re not that important. We’re just one species of narcissistic ape. And some people on social media get annoyed when I say we’re apes. You know, religious types, Americans."

"Animals are not here for us to do as we please with. We are not their superiors, we are their equals. We are their family. Be kind to them."

"It’s awful to think of people eating dogs, but some people eat pork. I don’t, but some people do. And a pig is just like a dog, there is no difference between them."

"If we took something like any fiction, any holy book… and destroyed it, in a thousand year’s time that wouldn’t come back just as it was. Whereas if we took every science book, and every fact, and destroyed them all, in a thousand years time, they’d all be back."

"The truth doesn’t hurt. Whatever it is, it doesn’t hurt. It’s better to know the truth."

"Why don’t you believe in God? I get that question all the time. I always try to give a sensitive, reasoned answer. This is usually awkward, time consuming and pointless. People who believe in God don’t need proof of his existence, and they certainly don’t want evidence to the contrary. They are happy with their belief. They even say things like “it’s true to me” and “it’s faith.” I still give my logical answer because I feel that not being honest would be patronizing and impolite. It is ironic therefore that “I don’t believe in God because there is absolutely no scientific evidence for his existence and from what I’ve heard the very definition is a logical impossibility in this known universe” comes across as both patronizing and impolite."

"You have options. You can either continue to be miserable or you can just stop being angry at everyone and accept the way things are. Allow yourself to live."

"If there is a god, why did he make me an atheist? That was his first mistake. Well, the talking snake was his first mistake."

"Science seeks the truth. And it does not discriminate. For better or worse it finds things out. Science is humble. It knows what it knows and it knows what it doesn’t know. It bases its conclusions and beliefs on hard evidence -­- evidence that is constantly updated and upgraded. It doesn’t get offended when new facts come along. It embraces the body of knowledge. It doesn’t hold on to medieval practices because they are tradition. If it did, you wouldn’t get a shot of penicillin, you’d pop a leech down your trousers and pray."

"He is the embodiment of Fleet Street bullying, using his newspaper to peddle his Little-England, curtain-twitching Alan Partridgesque view of the world, which manages to combine sanctimonious, pompous moralising and prurient, voyeuristic, judgmental obsession, like a Victorian father masturbating secretly in his bedroom."

"A star fall, a phone call It joins all Synchronicity It's so deep, it's so wide You're inside Synchronicity Effect without a cause Sub-atomic laws, scientific pause Synchronicity...."

"Mother chants her litany of boredom and frustration But we know all her suicides are fake Daddy only stares into the distance There's only so much more that he can take Many miles away something crawls from the slime At the bottom of a dark Scottish lake"

"If we share this nightmare Then we can dream Spiritus mundi If you act as you think The missing link Synchronicity"

"Daddy grips the wheel and stares alone into the distance He knows that something somewhere has to break He sees the family home now, looming in his headlights The pain upstairs that makes his eyeballs ache Many miles away there's a shadow on the door Of a cottage on the shore Of a dark Scottish lake"

"We must not lose this battle."

"With one breath, with one flow You will know Synchronicity A sleep trance, a dream dance, A shared romance Synchronicity A connecting principle Linked to the invisible Almost imperceptible Something inexpressible"

"Democracy is under attack. It's under attack in every country in the world. It's in grave danger of being lost unless we defend it."

"The alternative to democracy is a nightmare, a prison, of the mind. That alternative is tyranny. All tyranny is based on a lie. The greater the tyranny, the bigger the lie."

"I know a great deal about Indian music and I have tried to understand its intricacies. I am aware how complex ragas are and how specific the rhythm is. I will spend the rest of my life discovering this wonderful India. I’ve become addicted to it."

"Disagree with the tyrant and you risk imprisonment, torture and death. Yet that is what we must do, all of us. We must protect our right to speak the truth."

"The war in the Ukraine is an absurdity, based upon a lie. If we swallow that lie, the lie will eat us. The lie is terrified of the truth."

"I am the first male in the family not having had to shoot against another European"

"Dissent is a legitimate and essential right in any democracy and modern politicians must accept this fact with tolerance. A sense of proportion — and a sense of humour — is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness."

"Jung believed there was a large pattern to life, that it wasn't just chaos. Our song Synchronicity II is about two parallel events that aren't connected logically or causally, but symbolically."

"We are a parliamentary democracy; we don’t function by plebiscite. It’s dangerous. I don’t believe in referendums – Hitler and Mussolini organised referendums"

"I always say to young people, you can have the best script, be the funniest man, but if they don't laugh — you're not a comedian."

"Ten years ago I would have been dumbstruck by the attitude of Equity. Nowadays, however, we appear to be conditioned to the erosion of our liberties, and seem to have lost the will to fight for what we believe is right, and not for what is fashionable. Actions like that of Equity can only inflame the situation, whereas art should break down barriers, not help create them. I have been uplifted by the spirit of the people, Black and white. Not all Rhodesians agree with [prime minister] Ian Smith, but I have a feeling most people respect him."

"I always remember my disappointment the next morning when I found that my hand was still on because I thought, well, if I lost my hand I'm all right, I shall live, they can't send me out without a hand again. I was 20 then, it's not altogether a right thought for a young man to hope that he's been maimed for life."

"Yes, sir. My battalion is famous for self-inflicted wounds and just to make sure I cracked my skull with a rifle butt as well and ran a bayonet into my groin."

"I thought I was doing my duty for my country. I didn't know I was going to be treated like a convict. Did it make better soldiers of the callow youths we were then? I doubt it."

"I didn't go to France to murder people."

"If you understand comedy, you understand life. Drama, death, tragedy – everybody has these. But with humour you've got all these, and the antidote. You have found the answer. It doesn't follow that because you are a good comedy writer, you're a happy fellow. I've got one of the most miserable faces in the world. I am only happy when I am working. If I'm not working, I get screwed up because my time is going, my life is slipping by."

"It wasn't a question of if I get killed, it was merely a question of when I get killed."

"[To Jimmy Edwards] Don't forget we are talking to rebels."