"I blew off my own goddamn toe. Just to numb the pain. Let me tell you something, we all get weak over women. We all get weak over women. Fuckin' broads are all nuts. They know how to kill us."

"Charles Paraventi as Howie Stein"

"Peter Jacobson as Burke Beckett"

"You tell Domino Harvey that nobody messes with Mark Heiss! Nobody messes with the WB!"

"[After a particularly unpleasant day of filming the bounty hunters' reality TV show, to Ian Ziering and Brian Austin Green, the hosts] This is going to jump-start your careers!"

"[As he chews gum] It's like... Night... of the Living Dead!"

"Absolutely brilliant."

"Kel O'Neill as Frances"

"Now, if 2 Live Crew has taught us anything, it's that horniness in today's society is out of control. And at one point within the next decade, mark my words, ladies and gentlemen, society will have reached something I call APATT..."All porno, all the time." Pornography will have become an epidemic in this country. Phase one... masturbation."

"Sometimes a girl has to be naughty in order to get herself out of a jam. [Proceeds to perform a lap dance for a thug]"

"[To Choco from motel room door] Do you mind if I ask you a question? Do I look like I speak Spanish? Do I look South American to you? I don't understand a word you're fucking saying! You know what?! Ed's right! It's not cute! It's not fucking cute! It's never been fucking cute, Choco! I don't fucking understand you! You're a freak! [Slams motel room door in his face]"

"[In tactical team bus to TV camera man] Turn the fucking camera off!"

"[Narrates] My name is Domino Harvey. I am a bounty hunter. You're probably wondering how a girl like me arrived here. What I say will determine whether or not I spend the rest of my life in prison. Let's start at the beginning."

"I should let you know that Mr. Heiss will only be available to meet for about five minutes, so we should hurry up and cut to the point. Um, and speak in short sentences because he has the attention span of a ferret on crystal meth."

"Lucy Liu as Taryn Mills"

"And to our female friends here today, we must not abuse of our dogs with the lure of a peanut butter snatch. We must channel our horniness into extracurricular activities."

"[At a gas station with three “First Ladies” masked heistmen in van] I'm gonna fill up the tank and grab a Mountain Dew. Don't make a peep. Especially you, Barbara."

"[Voiceover] You're probably wondering how a girl like me arrived here, at the arse end of the Nevada desert with a blood-spattered Winnebago and a one-armed man."

"Frederick Koehler as Chuckie"

"Listen to me... bitch. I don't think you know who the fuck you are dealing with."

"[Voiceover] Nobody really knows where Ed came from. This much is clear, the man's been places, seen things, lived life. He did a term in Soledad and a term in Angola where he lost a toe during a prison riot. The man's a warrior."

"If you're wondering what's true and what isn't, fuck off, because it's none of your goddamn business!"

"[Voice-over] I could feel the blood coursing through my veins. Shotgun in hand, kicking down a door and wondering if there was heavy firepower on the other side."

"I saved her... And when she is older, a woman named Domino will tell her that there is only one conclusion to every story... We all fall down."

"[Voice-over] That night, my coin was tossed. Heads, you live. Tails, you die. 50/50 chance. Life or death. This ain't Sunset Boulevard. My destiny was life. Life as a bounty hunter."

"Heads You Live... Tails You Die."

"[Voice-over] I decided to never invest too much emotion in one thing. It's always a set-up to the pain of losing them."

"[Voiceover] I've never killed anyone. I hope to never kill anyone, even if they deserve it. My agenda is to kick ass and secure the bounty. If I'm on this side of the law I can live the low life and avoid jail. I can live nasty and not do time for it. That's called the best of both worlds. As for that other world, that 90210 world, it's not for me."

"[Voice-over] I've been training since I was twelve. Knives, guns, throwing stars. You name it, and I can fight with it. I'm a hard worker. I'm a hard worker and a fast learner. Nothing scares me. I'm not afraid to die."

"Based on a true story - sort of..."

"There are three kinds of people in the world... the rich... the poor... and everyone in between."

"Brian Austin Green as Brian Austin Green"

"[Voice-over] There were wires crossed somewhere in his soul."