"[Pulls out a pistol and imitates John Wayne] Hold it right there, pilgrim. I'm not gonna hurt ya. Naw, I'm not gonna hurt ya. [Fires gun] The hell I'm not!"

"For pulling this trick, I'll chop off your dick!"

"Loretta, darling, if you want magic, bend over. I'll pull a rabbit out of your ass."

"Your shrieks, my dear, provide a perfect accompaniment to this romantic evening."

"[Correcting Nathan about the Leprechaun not being a bear who came into the house] Nathan, that was no fuckin' bear."

"[To her father, upon arrival to cabin] I am going to be miserable here. There's no swimming pool, there's no shopping malls, there's no cable. Bet you don't even have a TV. This sure ain't Beverly Hills."

"Roger Hewlett as Tony"

"Warwick Davis as Leprechaun"

"[Holds up his slingshot to shoot the four-leaf clover at the Leprechaun] Hey, Lep! Fuck you, lucky charms!"

"[Screams out while lighting a match] Burn in hell, you little green bastard!"

"[Phones the police for help] Help. Help. It's happening. The attack is on. O'Grady farm. Uh, send help. The leprechaun is attacking. Army, navy, guns, marines. And we're gonna need some medicine."

"Welcome To Vegas... Your Losing Streak Is About To Begin!"

"[Finding a derelict pick up truck out in the field, to Alex ] Don't cut yourself on any of this old rusty metal. If you do, it will make your jaw lock shut."

"Jennifer Aniston as Tory"

"[Comes out of the chimney] Ho, ho, ho. I'm right here, and I ain't no Santa Claus. [Get shot by Nathan]"

"Have you seen a crock of gold lying around? [Ozzie shakes his head] Tell me or I'll bite your ear off, and I'll make a boot out of it! [Touches Ozzie's face who nervously laughs and run away]"

"[Singing, to Alex] I got you in a bear trap / That'll make you shut your yap / I got you in a bear trap / You look like a stupid sap. [The Leprechaun holds a small ax] Oh, oh, it looks like you're hurt. Let's play surgeon."

"Martha Hackett as Detective"

"Ian Gregory as Doctor"

"[In a little girl's voice trapped from a bag] I can't breathe. Please open the suitcase. I'm going to suffocate."

"Ken Olandt as Nathan"

"The path to power is often soiled with innocent blood, and I will let nothing stop me from becoming king. I'll have power and glory, and a beautiful queen to share it with. Share... Now there's a word that lies crooked upon me. The very sound of it sends my teeth to grate and conjures up pictures of me gold being carted off to pay for feminine pleasures, leaving me with less than what I want, and what I want is everything. I'll wed her, bed her and bury her all in the same day. I wonder if her father will pay for the wedding AND the funeral."

"Tony Cox as African-American Leprechaun"

"Shay Duffin as O'Grady"

"David Powledge as Frank"

"[To The Leprechaun] Tell me, what was Judy Garland really like?"

"Due to interference, my experiment has gone awry. I am becoming a mutant, my brain slowly losing human perspective. I am no longer Mittenhand. I am now... Mitten-spider."

"Help me... Help me..."

"As Shakespeare said, shit happens."

"Mark Holton as Ozzie"

"Debbe Dunning as Delores"

"Mike Cannizzo as Danny (as Michael Cannizzo)"

"['The Leprechaun pulls his hand off the kitchen burner that's on, chuckling] We're cooking now, kids."

"Robert Hy Gorman as Alex"

"Al White as Desk Sergeant"

"Leigh-Allyn Baker as Waitress"

"Yo man, want me gold?"

"Warwick Davis as The Leprechaun"

"Didn't anybody ever tell you not to drink and levitate?"

"Charlie Heath as Cody"

"Nothing tastes as good as a free pizza. Now if I could only figure out how to get free beer."

"[Bumps into African-American Leprechaun when entering the men's room] Watch it, nosebleed!"

"Sure, walk away! I understand. If hearing the actual sound of Jayne Mansfield's head being severed from her body is too intense for you, well then, you know, more power to ya."

"I'm not an elf and I'm not a dwarf. I'm a leprechaun."

"Shevonne Durkin as Bridget/William's Daughter"

"[Drunkenly] Pour all you want, pour all you can, you won't beat me, 'cause I'm a Lepre- CAN... hmph... cahn..."