"A Jew hypnotized my uncle, and he became a massive drunk, and he cheated on his wife, and he had an inappropriate relationship with my sister. And said he drowned in an unrelated accident, but it—it was Jew's fault."

"My friend met some Russians and they ate them."

"As part of our preparations for the invasion I’m re-designing my uniform. Note, the feathers for aerodynamics, the sparkly colour to dazzle the enemy, the boots are purely decorative. [shows another sketch] And this is a Gatling gun mounted with a radio which emits... annoying music to dishearten the enemy."

"[to Jungvolk members] We Aryans are once thousand times more civilized and advanced than any other race. Now get your things together, kids, it's time to BURN SOME BOOKS!"

"[to kid] OK, see that American there? Just go give him a hug! [loads suicide grenade at his back]"

"[to the students, after seeing Jojo exploded by a hand grenade irresponsibly] Don't do that."

"I've been meaning to teach the HJ boys water warfare training. Y'know... in case they need to go to battle in a swimming pool."

"We must kill everything that we see. [carries machine gun] For Hitler. DIE, DEVIL SCUM!!! [shoots randomly, before killed by explosion]"

"[seeing the HJ boys drowning, to Sub-Officer Finkel] Finkie, they're drowning."

"[after Jojo grabs books] Yes. Great thinking, Rabbit. we'll use all of these books to make a fake floor that she'll fall through, straight into a pit full of piranhas, and—and lava and... bacon. Why, she won't know what hit her."

"[comforting Jojo after being bullied "Jojo Rabbit"] Let them say whatever they want. People used to say a lot of nasty things about me. "Oh this guy's a lunatic." "Oh, look at that psycho, he's gonna get us all killed. [shrugs, knows he DOES kill people] Let me let you on a little secret: the rabbit is no coward. The humble little bunny faces a dangerous world every day, hunting carrots for his family, for his country."

"[After Jojo tells him Elsa is not bad] I am beginning to question your loyalty to myself and the party. [voice gets louder] You call yourself a patriot?! Yet where is the evidence? The German soldier was born out of necessity. Germany depends on the passion of these young men: passion and the readiness to FALL fot the Fatherland, DESPITE THE FUTILE EFFORTS OF ALLIED WAR PROFITEERS WHO SEND THEIR ILL-PREPARED ARMIES CLUMSILY INTO THE LAIR OF THE WOLF! And only zealous who stand steadfast in the face of the enemy will be ETCHED in German memory forevah! IT IS UP TO YOU TO DECIDE IF YOU WANT TO BE REMEMBERED, or disappear without a trace, like a pitiful grain of sand INTO A DESERT OF INSIGNIFICANCE!"

"You're not a Nazi, Jojo. You're a ten-year-old kid who likes swastikas and likes dressing up in a funny uniform who wants to be part of a club. But you're not one of them."

"[telling Jojo] The last time I saw my parents was at the station. They were put on a train. I ran. Slowly found my way back to the city. But... my parents go to a place you don't come back from."

"Heil Hitler, guys."

"[after Jojo tells her his race is superior, she has him in a headlock] Break free. Break free, Great Aryan, there are no weak Jews. I am descended from those who wrestle angels and kill giants, we were chosen by God. You were chosen by a pathetic little man who can't even grow a full mustache! [releases Jojo roughly] Stronger race, huh?"

"And even though it would appear our country's on the backfoot and there's isn't much hope in us winning this war, apparently we're doing just fine."

"[Jojo asks Germany's progress on the war] Terribly. Our only friends are the Japanese, and just between you and me... they don't look very Aryan."

"[responding to Jojo who whines over his scar] Enjoy the attention, kid. Not everyone is lucky enough to look stupid. I for one am cursed to look incredibly attractive."

"[tying Jojo's shoes] You grab the rabbit by the tail, wrap it around his ear, tie it all up and then stuff it back down the hole."

"[making dinner] Where are all our god damn knives!?"

"[to Jojo] Hi."

"[to Jojo] Mmmm-mmm-mm-mmm, my darling little cub."

"[wearing soldier uniform] Oh my God, it's so hard to run in this thing!"

"[to Jojo] What will you do, sweet Hitlerchen? Hmm? Of course. Go on, then. Tell them. But do you know what happens if you do? I'll tell them you helped me. And your mother, too. Then we'll all be kaputt. And if you tell her you know about me, just one word... I'll do the world a great, big favor and cut your Nazi head off. Got it?"

"[Jojo asks for information about the Jews] OKay. We're like you... but human."

"[clarifying to his friend Yorki his position] Yorki, you're my second best friend. First place is reserved for the Führer. So unless you're Hitler hiding in a fat little boy's body, I'd be happy with second place."

"[fearfully asking Elsa to come out of her secret room] Excuse me, little girl? Umm... Jew girl in the wall? Yoohoo... Jew???"

"OK, here's the situation. If I tell on you, you’ll be in big trouble and I don’t think you want that. But then you’ll tell on me and my mother and we’ll be in trouble which I don’t want. And if you tell my mother I know, then she’ll kick you out, which you don’t want. And if I tell my mother I know, then you’ll cut off my Nazi head, which I also don’t want. So it's a Mexican stalemate."

"[talking to the mirror] Jojo Betzler. Ten years old. Today, you join the ranks of the Jungvolk in a very, special... training weekend. It's going to be intense. But today, you become a man. I swear to devout all my energies and my strength to the saviour of our country, Adolf Hitler. I am willing and ready to give up my life for him. So help me, God."

"[a fake letter from Elsa's fiance Nathan] Dear Elsa, this is hard for me to say but, I don't want to marry you anymore. I found a new woman, and we laugh a lot, and do the tongue kiss."

"[a second letter apologizing] I just wanted to let you know that I don't want to break up with you now. I don't want you to kill yourself over me, which a couple of girls have done in the past, and it's pretty stressful. I need you to stay alive. Thank God you've been taken care of by that kid, who I must say is a remarkable young man beyond his years. And brave too."

"No news from Nathan today, I'm afraid. He's probably doing something amazing, like reading a book or growing a beard."

"[after the war, Jojo realizes how horrible Hitler was, and attempts to kick him out of his life] FUCK OFF, HITLER."

"Trudi Frazer: I believe it's the job of an actor – and I say actor, not actress because the word actress is nonsensical – it's the actor's job to avoid impediments to their performance. It's the actor's job to strive for one hundred percent effectiveness. Naturally, we never succeed, but it's the pursuit..that's meaningful."

"Sadie: Dig it! We all grew up watching TV. You know what I mean? If you grew up watching TV, that means you were watching murder. Every show on TV that wasn't I Love Lucy was about murder. So my idea is: we kill the people who taught us to kill. I mean, where the fuck are we, man? We are in fucking Hollywood, man! The people who an entire generation grew up watching kill people live here and they live in pigshit fucking luxury. I say fuck 'em! I say we cut their cocks off and make 'em eat it!"

"Tex: You two ready to kill some piggies?"

"Bruce Lee: Now I admire Cassius Clay, I do. What I admire is, in his sport there is an element of true combat. When Cassius Clay meets Sonny Liston in the ring, that's not two athletes posturing; that's combat. Two men, trying to kill each other right now. If you don't beat him…he kills you. That's beyond athletics. That's beyond Wide World of Sports, you know? That's two warriors engaged in combat; that's what I admire."

"Leonardo DiCaprio – Rick Dalton"

"Brad Pitt – Cliff Booth"

"[Reading Nicole's letter to Henry] I fell in love with him two seconds after I saw him. And I'll never stop loving him, even though it doesn't make sense anymore."

"Sandra: Even though I am 64 and have a dead gay husband, I manage to get up every day, live my life, and feel pretty good about myself."

"People don't accept mothers who drink too much wine and yell at their child and call him an asshole. I get it. I do it too. We can accept an imperfect dad. Let's face it, the idea of a good father was only invented like 30 years ago. Before that, fathers were expected to be silent and absent and unreliable and selfish, and can all say we want them to be different. But on some basic level, we accept them. We love them for their fallibilities, but people absolutely don't accept those same failings in mothers. We don't accept it structurally and we don't accept it spiritually. Because the basis of our Judeo-Christian whatever is Mary, Mother of Jesus, and she's perfect. She's a virgin who gives birth, unwaveringly supports her child and holds his dead body when he's gone. And the dad isn't there. He didn't even do the fuckin'. God is in heaven. God is the father and God didn't show up. So, you have to be perfect, and Charlie can be a fuck up and it doesn't matter. You will always be held to a different, higher standard. And it's fucked up, but that is the way it is."

"Scarlett Johansson – Nicole Barber"

"Kurt Russell – Randy Miller and the narrator"

"Zoë Bell – Janet Miller"

"Michael Madsen – Sheriff Hackett on Bounty Law"

"Getting divorced with a kid is one of the hardest things to do. It's like a death without a body."

"- Charlie Barber"