Actors From England

"My theory is that we are all idiots. The people who don’t think they’re idiots — they’re the ones that are dangerous."

"There's a one-eyed yellow idol to the north of Khatmandu, There's a little marble cross below the town, There's a broken-hearted woman tends the grave of Mad Carew, And the yellow god forever gazes down."

"An ugly knife lay buried in the heart of Mad Carew, 'Twas the 'Vengeance of the Little Yellow God'."

"I wrote The Green Eye of the Little Yellow God in five hours, but I had it all planned out. It isn't poetry and it does not pretend to be, but it does what it sets out to do. It appeals to the imagination from the start: those colours, green and yellow, create an atmosphere."

"It may seem like hindsight now, but I just knew that Doctor Who was going to be an enormous success. Don't ask me how. Not everybody thought as I did. I was universally scoffed at for my initial faith in the series, but I believed in it. It was magical."

"The moment this brilliant young producer Miss Verity Lambert started telling me about Doctor Who, I was hooked. I remember telling her, "This is going to run for five years." And look what's happened!"

"You know, I couldn't go out into the high street without a bunch of kids following me. I felt like the Pied Piper."

"I was so pleased to be offered Doctor Who. To me kids are the greatest audience - and the greatest critics - in the world."

"It's frightening to think with modern medicine and all the technique available to them they can't really help you. In the old days, you know, you were better off because nowadays, they are all specialists. Everyone's becoming better and better at less and less. Eventually someone's going to be superb, at nothing."

"Oh – what's the bloody point?"

"All problems have to be solved eventually by ONESELF, and that's where all your lovely John Donne stuff turns out to be a load of crap because, in the last analysis, A MAN IS AN ISLAND"

"He was very difficult to work with. When he felt like it, it was just bliss. But he could be hideous."

"Living with someone always means a denial of self in SOME way and I suppose I have always known it was something I couldn't accomplish. So I've always stayed on the sidelines. Getting the pleasure vicariously. It's not wholly satisfactory, but then of course no lives are, and you know what I think about indiscriminate sex and promiscuous trade. I think it's the beginning of a long, long road to despair."

"My outlook is that life is like a self-service restaurant and you have to help yourself. Sometimes when you see what the other fella has got, you want some of it too."

"I'd never malign another performer, but the style is not good enough. They've done away with laugh pay-offs. We were given nine minutes or eight minutes. Now they wander wherever they like, they don't get to any jokes before they've been on for two minutes. We had to make an impact in ten seconds."

"I wanna tell you a story"

"The same thing occurred when the Major and Colonel Both tried to get Sam to see sense, But when Old Duke o' Wellington came into view Well, then the excitement was tense"

"Up rode the Duke on a loverly white 'orse, To find out the cause of the bother, He looked at the musket and then at Old Sam, And he talked to Old Sam like a brother"

"'Sam, Sam, pick oop tha' musket' The Duke said as quiet as could be, 'Sam, Sam Sam Sam, pick oop tha' musket, Coom on lad, just to please me"

"'Sam, Sam, pick oop the musket,' Said Captain, for strictness renowned. Sam said 'He knocked it doon, reason he picks it oop, or it stays where it is, on the ground.'"

"'Sam, Sam, pick oop tha' musket,' The Sergeant exclaimed with a roar, Sam said 'Tha' knocked it doon, reason tha'll pick it oop, Or it stays where it is on't floor"

"'Sam, Sam, pick oop tha' musket,' Lieutenant exclaimed with some 'eat, Sam said, 'he knocked it down, reason he picks it oop, Or it stays where it is, at me feet'"

"The sound of 'igh words very soon reached the ears of an officer, Lieutenant Bird, Who said to the Sergeant, 'Now what's all this here?' And the Sergeant told what had occurred."

"'Alright Duke,' said Old Sam, 'just for thee I'll oblige, And to show thee I meant no offence', So Sam picked it up, 'Gradely, lad' said the Duke, 'Right-o boys... let battle commence.'"

"As Sergeant walks past he was swinging his arms, And he happened to brush against Sam, And knocking his musket clean out of his hand, It fell to the ground with a slam"

"It occurred on the evening before Waterloo, And troops were lined up on parade, The Sergeant inspecting 'em he was a terror, Of whom every man was afraid"

"'Pick it oop' said the Sergeant, abrupt-like, but cool, But Sam with the shake of his head, Being that thou knocked it out of me 'and, Let thou pick the thing up, instead"

"It caused quite a stir when the Captain arrived To ‘find out the cause of the trouble’ And every man there, all excepting Old Sam, Was full of excitement and bubble."

"Now my sister's daughter, Elizabeth May Is going to get married next Sunday, they say Now what will I buy her? She's such a nice girl. I think a piano will do very well. I saw one today, 'twas a beauty I found. Only ninety-five guineas. I'll have it sent round."

"I've been very poorly but now I feel prime, I've been out today for the very first time. I felt like a lad as I walked down the road, Then I met Old Jones and he said, "Well I'm blowed! My word you do look queer! My word you do look queer! Oh, dear! You look dreadful: you've had a near shave, You look like a man with one foot in the grave." I said, "Bosh! l'm better; it's true I've been ill." He said, "I'm delighted you're better, but still, I wish you'd a thousand for me in your will. My word, you do look queer!""

"And yet I don't know. And yet I don't know! The sewing machine that cost me twenty guineas or so. And that would buy plenty of linen and thread And things that are hand-made are best, so it's said. It's not that I'm mingy - although I'm half Scotch. I know what I'll buy her. A Ingersoll watch."

"And yet I don't know. And yet I don't know! The handkerchiefs that cost me three shillings or so - And that seems a lot for poor Uncle John And anything goes to blow noses on. Talking of noses, hers is red enough. I know what I'll buy her. A nice powder puff. Now she can't powder her nose with a grand piano. Nor yet with a sewing machine. She can't powder her nose with an Ingersoll watch - Well that's silly, you know what I mean. She can't powder her nose with a jumper. She'll find that a little bit rough. So I'll pop round to Woolworth's tomorrow, God bless her And buy her a nice powder puff. And yet I don't know. And yet I don't know! Sixpence ha'pennies aren't found in back yards. I'll not buy her a powder puff at all - no. I'll just send her my kindest regards."

"My knees started knocking, I did feel so sad. Then Brown said, "Don't die in a pub, it looks bad," He said, "Come with me, I'll show you what to do. Now I've got a friend who'll be useful to you." He led me to Black's Undertaking Depot, And Black, with some crepe round his hat said, "Hello, My word you do look queer!""

"All excepting one man who was in the front rank, A man by the name of Sam Small, And 'im and the Sergeant were both 'daggers drawn', They thought 'nowt' of each other at all"

"I crawled in the street and I murmured,"I'm done." Then up came Old Jenkins and shouted,"Oh son!" "My word you do look well! My word you do look well! You're looking fine and in the pink!" I shouted, "Am I? Come and have a drink! You've put new life in me, I'm sounder than a bell. By gad! There's life in the old dog yet. My word I do feel well!""

"John Gielgud didn't play Hamlet, he was Hamlet."

"[As Caliban in a production of Shakespeare's The Tempest Ralph Richardson was having difficulties in rehearsal] I couldn't find my feet very well and after a rehearsal, John said to me one day "Would you care to run over your scene with me?" so I thought to myself "Not much". So rather grudgingly I said "Oh yes, all right". So we ran through it, just the two of us in the theatre with the director and Johnny said "Well you know Ralph, I think that when you come on, you might do this or you might do that, you might do this" - he gave me, as he usually does, about three or four suggestions. I thought to myself My god, so I might, I might do one of those. And he talked about Sycorax my mother...he gave me about two hundred ideas as he usually does, twenty-five of which I eagerly seized on, and when I went away I thought "This chap, you know, I don't like him very much but by God he knows something about this here play." He helped me so much that I looked at him afterwards in quite a different way. And then out of that we formed a friendship.""

"I'm sure there isn't an after-life. If there were, Ivor Novello would have got a message to us."

"I feel so sorry for those poor men sitting up there all day. They must be so cold."

"Yeh I know but, I remember one on our estate, right. And she was a bit... what's the word that you can use cos I don't want to offend anyone? I'd say mental... but sort of mental homeless, is that a term?"

"Just sort of wander about and that, and just not get seen [What he would do with the power of invisibility]"

"We came from the sea originally, now we're going back in it. Don't go in it, unless you're in a boat."

"On identical twins - You always get a little snidey one."

"Walking down the street in London with Suzanne, saw a little homeless.. well I didn't see the homeless bloke right, I saw a leg stickin out of a doorway, thought 'here we go', right. Walked past it, right, you're not gonna believe this. Homeless.... Chinese fella. I've never seen one of them."

"[Ricky asks what else he would do with the power of invisibility]Dunno, you could sort of go in shops when they're shut, just get in before they lock up."

"Do you know like, when you're a bloke nudist, Do you ever get any who just have like a small knob?"

"Talking about being in heaven- It's not fair though because all them lot have been up there ages with like a chance to get a bit of sun on the body and that so they'll look alright. I'll be wandering about with underpant marks and stuff."

"Don't be chucking that out. You might need that later - Karl interprets the phrase Waste not, want not."

"You know how they say people have six senses? There's loads more than that. [The ability to feel someone looking at you], that's been around since man and dinosaur were knockin' about."

"On dopplegangers - How would I know which one I was?"