89 quotes found
"I am in a dress, I have gel in my hair, I haven't slept all night, I'm starved, AND I'm armed! Don't MESS with me!"
"Look, she's gonna cry again. [imitating winner] 'Oh, if I only had a brain."'"
"Hey! I'm GLIDING here!"
"I'm sorry, what was the question? I was distracted by the half-masticated cow rolling around in your wide-open trap."
"There are no words."
"Eyebrows. There should be TWO."
"Smilers wear a crown, losers wear a frown."
"[to Gracie] If I'd ever had a daughter, I imagine she might have been something like you... which is perhaps why I've never reproduced."
"Unpolished. Unkempt. Unleashed. Undercover."
"She's Got A Killer To Catch... Right After The Swimsuit Competition."
"Never Mess With An Agent In A Dress."
"Sandra Bullock - Gracie Hart"
"Michael Caine - Victor Melling"
"Benjamin Bratt - Eric Matthews"
"Candice Bergen - Cathy Morningside"
"Ernie Hudson - FBI Asst. Director Harry McDonald"
"William Shatner - Stan Fields"
"Heather Burns - Cheryl Frasier, Miss Rhode Island"
"[distraught over losing his Green Hornet fishing rod in the fishing hole] Where's the Green Hornet?"
"Kids. Can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em."
"Jack Lemmon - John Gustafson"
"Walter Matthau - Max Goldman"
"Ann-Margret - Ariel Truax"
"Kevin Pollak - Jacob Goldman"
"Ossie Davis - Chuck"
"Buck Henry - Snyder"
"Daryl Hannah - Melanie Gustafson"
"Burgess Meredith - John Gustafson, Sr."
"[to Irv] You’re not funny. Stop trying."
"I'm a lightweight, one drink and I'm looking for a bellman to make out with."
"[about members of her group] Australians are the nicest people, but you can only understand about half of what they say."
"[about Prokopi] Fine. Yeah, sometimes he's nice, but mostly he just makes me mad."
"Irv Giddian and I've come here to see as many ancient ruins as possible and judging from your husband, the trip is already a success."
"How many of you, like me, have come here to fondle as many nude statues as possible? This is comedy. The Greeks invented it, like moustaches on women."
"I would like to apologize to everybody. It was my medication, I take Preparation H because I'm an asshole."
"I'm not a god. That's just a rumor my mother started."
"History has got a lot of dirty stories. Sex sells."
"My job is to drive the bus, you know it pays better."
"Maria, will you make me a full-time driver?"
"[to Georgia] You said you haven't made love in forever."
"[to Georgia, about the bus crash] You distracted me. I could have killed you. All of us."
"Dr. Tullen: (about Irv, hands Georgia $$) That man is so rude. Make it stop."
"Big Al: (about the bus crash) You know, this whole thing happened 'cause he was staring at you, Angie."
"Kimmy: Angie, everyone on the bus has a different word for it. I call it: mysterious."
"Caitlin: Will my parents ever stop fighting?"
"GATOR: (doing rapid shots of Grapa) I've never even seen this kind of alcohol before!"
"Nico: (sarcastically, to his group) Fine, fine, take your stupid pictures and I go get you some ice cream."
"Maria': Everybody should take the time for a coffee."
"Maria: Nico? He quit. Mama's boy. I knew his father. Same thing."
"The most fun you can have without a passport."
"The Star of 'My Big Fat Greek Wedding' is Finally Going to Greece."
"Falling in Love...In All the Wrong Places"
"Nia Vardalos - Georgia"
"Richard Dreyfuss - Irv"
"Alexis Georgoulis - Poupi Kakas"
"Alistair McGowan - Nico"
"Harland Williams - Big Al"
"Rachel Dratch - Kim"
"Caroline Goodall - Dr. Tullen"
"Ian Ogilvy - Mr. Tullen"
"Sophie Stuckey - Caitlin"
"María Botto - Lala"
"Jojo, relax! Trust me. You're going to wiggle your sweet ass, and he's going to forget all about it."
"So tell me, Junior, how come you're not at your Ivy League school, picking ivy, or whatever you do there?"
"What? You think this is gonna make me marry you? Do you? Well, it's not, cos I don't have to marry an asshole. It's the '80s! Why would I marry an asshole?"
"I mean, if you think about it, Bill and I are so different. Everything he wants, I don't. The marriage, the kids, all that stuff. I mean, I really want that stuff. Real bad. I just don't want it now. He doesn't understand. If he really loved me, he'd wait. But I guess if I really loved him, I'd marry him. Maybe I don't love Bill. But I really do love Bill, though. He really - he understands me so well."
"[to Jojo] I'm tellin' ya, Jo, that I love you. Doesn't that mean anything to you? I think that when people love each other, they should make a commitment. They should have a wedding, in a church, with the blessings of God, for chrissakes! Don't you get it, Jo? I'm telling you - that I love you! And all you love is my dick. Do you know how that makes me feel? Do you?"
"A romantic comedy with the works."
"Discover a movie which hits home about love, friendship, dreams and life. A movie that you'll be talking about long afterwards. Experience something special, something romantic, something honest."
"Annabeth Gish - Katherine "Kat" Araújo"
"Julia Roberts - Daisy Araújo"
"Lili Taylor - Josefina "Jojo" Barbosa"
"Vincent D'Onofrio - William "Bill" Montijo"
"William R. Moses - Tim Travers"
"Adam Storke - Charles Gordon Windsor Jr."
"Conchata Ferrell - Leona"
"Joanna Merlin - Mrs. Araújo"
"Porscha Radcliffe - Phoebe Travers"
"Louis Turenne - Hector 'The Fireside Gourmet' Freshette"
"Janet Zarish - Nikki Travers"
"Arthur Walsh - Manny"
"John Cunningham - Charles Gordon Windsor Sr."
"Ann Flood - Polly Windsor"
"Suzanne Shepherd - Aunt Tweedy"
"Gene Amoroso - Mr. Barbosa"
"Sheila Ferrini - Mrs. Barbosa"
"John Fiore - Jake"
"Lauren O'Brien - Serena Windsor"
"Matt Damon - Steamer Windsor"