426 quotes found
"This is Wall Street... and today was important because tomorrow - July Fourth - I intended to make my first million dollars. An exciting day in any man's life. Temporarily, the enterprise was slightly illegal. You see I was the lawyer for the numbers racket."
"A man could spend the rest of his life trying to remember what he shouldn't have said."
"I found my brother's body at the bottom there, where they had thrown it away on the rocks... by the river... like an old dirty rag nobody wants. He was dead - and I felt I had killed him. I turned back to give myself up to Hall; because if a man's life can be lived so long and come out this way - like rubbish - then something was horrible and had to be ended one way or another... and I decided to help."
"All that Cain did to Abel was murder him."
"I am sensible. I am calm. I'll give you my answer calmly and sensibly, my final answer. My final answer is finally no. The answer is no! Absolutely and finally no! Finally and positively no! No! No! No! N - O!"
"What do you mean "gangsters"? It's business."
"John Garfield - Joe Morse"
"Thomas Gomez - Leo Morse"
"Marie Windsor - Edna Tucker"
"Howland Chamberlain - Freddie Bauer"
"Roy Roberts - Ben Tucker"
"Paul Fix - Bill Ficco"
"Stanley Prager - Wally"
"Barry Kelley - Detective Egan"
"Paul McVey - Hobe Wheelock"
"Beatrice Pearson - Doris Lowry"
"Force of Evil stands up under repeated viewings as one of the great films of the modern American cinema..."
"That's nothing, it's a...birthmark."
"Hard six coming out."
"It's my long-life food preservative. The FDA finally approved it!"
"Eddie, This is great! They don't have any of these games at the Mirage."
"His name is not Papagiorgio. His name is Rusty Griswold and he's a C+ student!"
"Don't think unnatural thoughts about your cousin, Rus."
"...and he want's to enter that garden, with a knowledge, and a mulch..."
"Oh, Keno! This is easy."
"My pen burst. (after hotel employee notices Clark's arm is blue from falling in the plane's toilet)"
"(after an attempt to have sex with Clark in the bathroom goes horribly wrong) I'll never fly again."
"Clark, this is a family trip. Can you try to stay with the family."
"Could be worse...you could be pregnant again."
"You find the Clark Griswold that I married and you tell him that I'm at the Mirage!"
"I love what you've done with the kitchenette."
"Well, I don't know what you would do with your horses, because, Clark likes to use the garage for the cars and the lawn mower."
"I've got news for you Clark. I haven't said yes, yet."
"Couldn't you just roll us around on the bed again."
"I put a dollar in I won a car, I put a dollar in I won a car, I put a dollar in I won a car, I put a dollar in I won a car."
"Who would have thought my sister had the legs of a thoroughbred. Am I right?"
"So I says to him, I said, "Get your own monkey!""
"It's expensive having an entourage."
"Security: "No corrective lenses tonight Mr Papagiorgio?" Rusty: "No sir, I do not require them.""
"Holy crap, Wayne Newton's hittin' on mom!"
"Clark, have you ever tried to swim with the dolphins?"
"[to Wayne Newton] Do you need a bodyguard? I'd die for you!"
"Aw, she's got her mother's looks and her daddy's sense of balance."
"My garden's spittin' out 50-lb tomatoes."
"Hey, kids. Round-up time!"
"Oh, yeah. That's from when I sold my kidney. I figured with all the advancements in modern science, I'd better sell it while someone still wanted to buy it. Smartest thing I ever did, Clark."
"Ahh Uban Coffee you know you can sprinkle that stuff on anything, ice cream, mashed potatoes or just eat it straight out of the can for a quick pick me up."
"Don't worry, he's with me."
"It's a bust, Las Vegas fun police, hand over your chips. ha ha ha ha"
"Whoa man it is a blazer out there. You're lucky you got air conditioning in here {Casino} - like mother nature intended."
"I gotta warn ya Clark – they don’t play the same games that they do at them regular casinos"
"Lord is my witness, I hate this heat! If it isn't gluing your butt to the truck seat it's making you sweat like a farm animal!"
"In this world, you’re either up on the stage in the spotlight, or down in the pit serving drinks"
"Honey, these boys ain't much to talk to, but, if you want a night away from your cat... they're more than fine."
"Jilly - That's it, kid. Now all we have to do is teach you how to dress."
"Roy - What a great audience."
"Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold"
"- Ellen Griswold"
"- Cousin Eddie"
"- Russell "Rusty" Griswold"
"- Audrey Griswold"
"- Cousin Catherine"
"- Cousin Vicki"
"Juliette Brewer - Cousin Ruby Sue"
"- Marty the Blackjack dealer"
"- "Girl in the Red Ferrari" (non-speaking cameo)"
"- Mirage desk clerk"
"- themselves"
"- young Frank Sinatra impersonator/fake ID salesman"
"- Mr. Ellis"
"- "Gilly from Philly""
"He is great! Geez, that old fat man. Look at the way he moves, like a dancer... And those fingers, them marshmellow fingers. And that stroke, it's like he's, uh, like he's playin' a violin or somethin.'"
"[After discovering that Charlie kept some money from him] With that fifteen hundred, I could have beat him. That's all I needed, Charlie... You'd love to keep me hustlin' for ya, huh, wouldn't ya? I mean, a couple more years with me scufflin' around in them little towns and those back alleys, you might make yourself enough to get a little pool room back in Oakland, six tables and a handbook on the side... Lay down and die by yourself."
"Now why did I do it, Sarah, why did I do it? I could've beat that guy, I could've beat him cold. He never would have known. But I just had to show him. Just had to show those creeps and those punks what the game is like when it's great, when it's really great. You know, like anything can be great, anything can be great. I don't care — brick-laying can be great if a guy knows. If he knows what he's doin' and why and if he can make it come off."
"[to Eddie] George Findley is a very rich man. His grandfather left him twenty-five percent of his tobacco company... He's a gentleman. Gentlemen gamble. He gets his kicks playin' a hustler. He's got an old Southern mansion with a pool table in the basement, drinks eight-year-old bourbon, smokes a cork-tipped cigarette... I never saw him play. They say he's one of the best... I've got confidence in Findley... That means I've got confidence that he's a loser, all the way a loser. You happen to be about only one-half loser, the other half winner."
"A motion picture that probes the stranger... the pick-up... why a man hustles for a buck or a place in the sun!"
"They called him "Fast Eddie"... He was a winner... He was a loser... He was a hustler."
"Only the angel who falls knows the depths of hell."
"It delves without compromise into the hungers that lie deep within us all."
"Trapped by the underworld . . . they risked love and fortune in a desperate gamble!"
"Paul Newman - "Fast" Eddie Felson"
"Jackie Gleason - Minnesota Fats"
"Piper Laurie - Sarah Packard"
"George C. Scott - Bert Gordon"
"Myron McCormick - Charlie Burns"
"Murray Hamilton - Findley"
"Michael Constantine - Big John"
"Jake LaMotta - Bartender"
"Vincent Gardenia - Bartender"
"From the moment I slapped eyes on this hombre, I smelled trouble. And re-fried beans."
"Lord... whatever I've done to piss you off... if you could just get me out of this and somehow let me know what it was I promise to rectify the situation."
"You thought that was fast? I thought it was fast. Well was it?"
"If I can't touch you, I can touch your shirt and dream."
"Zane Cooper: I've never committed a cold blooded murder in my life, and I'm not about to. Not till I find Maverick."
"Joseph: Yeah, I know. You know the next time you people come and drive us off our land I'm gonna find a nice piece of swamp that's so God-awful, maybe then you'll leave us the hell alone."
"Angel: Almost got hung once myself. Didn't care for it much."
"Lead Bank Robber: I'm getting too old for this shit."
"The greatest gambler in the West has finally met his match."
"In their hands, a deck of cards was the only thing more dangerous than a gun."
"Mel Gibson - Bret Maverick, Jr."
"Jodie Foster - Mrs. Annabelle Bransford"
"James Garner - Marshall Zane Cooper"
"Graham Greene - Joseph"
"Alfred Molina - Angel"
"James Coburn - Commodore Duvall"
"No sense being a grifter if it's the same as bein' a citizen."
"[enters the poker game pretending to be drunk] Sorry I'm late, guys, I was takin' a crap."
"You see that fella in the red sweater over there? His name's Donnie McCoy. Works a few of the protection rackets for Cunnaro when he's waiting for something better to happen. Donnie and I have known each other since we were six. Take a good look at that face, Floyd. Because if he ever finds out I can be beat by one lousy grifter, I'll have to kill him and every other hood who wants to muscle in on my Chicago operation."
"[to Snyder] Sit down and shut up, will ya? Try not to live up to all my expectations."
"Robert Redford — Johnny "Kelly" Hooker"
"Paul Newman — Henry "Shaw" Gondorff"
"Robert Shaw — Doyle Lonnegan"
"Charles Durning — Lieutenant William Snyder"
"Ray Walston — J.J. Singleton"
"Eileen Brennan — Billie"
"Harold Gould — Kid Twist"
"John Heffernan — Eddie Niles"
"Dana Elcar — FBI Agent Polk"
"Jack Kehoe — Erie Kid"
"Dimitra Arliss — Loretta Salino"
"Robert Earl Jones — Luther Coleman"
"Charles Dierkop — Floyd"
"James J. Sloyan — Mottola"
"Are you taking any prescription medication?"
"If the syrup is on the table after the pancakes, then it will definitely be too late."
"Charlie Babbitt made a joke."
"What you have to understand is, four days ago he was only my brother in name. And this morning we had pancakes."
"Charlie and Raymond. They are strangers. They are brothers. They have just met."
"A journey through understanding and fellowship."
"Dustin Hoffman - Raymond Babbitt"
"Tom Cruise - Charlie Babbitt"
"Valeria Golino - Susanna"
"Jerry Molen - Dr. Gerald Bruner"
"Ralph Seymour - Lenny"
"Michael D. Roberts - Vern"
"Bonnie Hunt - Sally Dibbs"
"Beth Grant - Mother at Farm House"
"Lucinda Jenney - Iris"
"Barry Levinson - Doctor"
"Look at me. Look at my smile. Your son is dead."
"I bet it was that mouth that got you that nose."
"If there's one thing I know, is when someone is lying. A man in my position, that's all he has to go on. To know a lie when he hears it: the difference between life and death... your own... someone else's. That being said, he wasn't lying."
"The unlucky are nothing more than a frame of reference for the lucky, Mister Fisher. You are unlucky, so I may know that I am not. Unfortunately the lucky never realize they are lucky until it's too late. Take yourself for instance; yesterday you were better off than you are today but it took today for you to realize it. But today has arrived, and it's too late... You see? People are never happy with what they have. They want what they had. Or what others have...I'm a bad man who doesn't waste time wondering what could've been when I am what could've been and what could not have been. I live on both sides of the fence, and the grass is always green."
"Since we're not friends and you hate baseball, then why the fuck are you here?"
"My father used to say: "The first time someone calls you a horse you punch him on the nose, the second time someone calls you a horse you call him a jerk but the third time someone calls you a horse, well then perhaps it's time to go shopping for a saddle.""
"I'm gonna say what any man with two penises would say, when his tailor asks him if he dresses right or left... Yes."
"[To the Rabbi and the Boss] The two of you killed everything I ever loved. (Pause) Fuck you both."
"You can only kill me once."
"Charlie Chaplin entered a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest in Monte Carlo and came in third. Now that's a story. This... is something else."
"Sorry about that, son. But sometimes there's more to life than just livin'. Besides, you can't have a Kansas City Shuffle without a body."
"Because it seems to me that your son is worth more to you alive than he is to the Boss dead. And more money is worth more to me than less money."
"I was thinking that if you're still alive when I get back from work tonight... maybe we could go out to dinner or something?"
"I'm short for my height."
"Thanks for the sugar, sugar."
"When you love someone, you've gotta trust them. There's no other way. You've got to give them the key to everything that's yours. Otherwise, what's the point? And for a while, I believed that's the kind of love I had."
"No matter how big a guy might be, Nicky would take him on. You beat Nicky with fists, he comes back with a bat. You beat him with a knife, he comes back with a gun. And you beat him with a gun, you better kill him, because he’ll keep coming back and back until one of you is dead."
"In the casino, the cardinal rule is to keep them playing and keep them coming back. The longer they play, the more they lose. In the end, we get it all."
"[voice over, while observing a blackjack cheat] You can spot these assholes by watching the way they bet. Like this guy. He's betting lavender chips at five hundred each with only one little problem: He's always guessed right. If he wasn't so fuckin' greedy, he'd have been tougher to spot. But in the end, they're all greedy."
"[To a cheater, after casino thugs have broken his accomplice's hand with a hammer] Alright, I'm going to give you a choice: You can either have the money and the hammer, or you can walk out of here. You can't have both."
"In Vegas, everybody's gotta watch everybody else. Since the players are looking to beat the casino, the dealers are watching the players. The boxmen are watching the dealers. The floormen are watching the boxmen. The pit bosses are watching the floormen. The shift bosses are watching the pit bosses. The casino manager is watching the shift bosses. I'm watching the casino manager. And the eye in the sky [the CCTV cameras] is watching us all."
"We all have a past! You have a past, I have a past, and my past is no worse than yours, but you guys think you have the right to pass judgment on me!"
"Meeting in the middle of the desert always made me nervous. It's a scary place. I knew about the holes in the desert, of course, and everywhere I looked, there could have been a hole. Normally, my prospects of coming back alive from a meeting with Nicky were 99 out of 100. But this time, when I heard him say "a couple of hundred yards down the road," I gave myself 50/50."
"[to Ginger, about her and Lester planning to run away with Amy] Yeah, but I've been told that before, "We're working it out." You think that you're home... after what you just put me through with Amy, is a favor to me? So, counting the watch, let's say another four thousand for expenses over the weekend... of which you must have had a good time. I know he did. That's for sure. I know that... fuckin' piece of shit had a good fuckin' time. On my money. You might as well have fucked him, which you probably did anyway. (Ginger glares at him) You're lookin' at me a certain way. You - you're teary-eyed, huh? You're upset. You're a good actress, you know that? Good fuckin' actress. You can fuckin' get that pity out of people. I'm not a john, you understand? You always thought I was, but I'm not. And I'm not a sucker. That fuckin' pimp cocksucker. He's lucky I didn't kill him last time. Lucky he's fuckin' livin'. And if you would've stayed with Amy... and you would've ran away... you would've been fuckin' dead. Both of you. Dead. Dead."
"You wanna get rid of me? Here I am. Go ahead, get rid of me."
"After all the threats and all the bullshit, it turned out Ginger didn't tell 'em anything. But by then, the Feds didn't need her, anyway. They had all the pieces they needed. And everybody began to tumble, one after the other... just like dominoes. Between Piscano complaining on a wire. Between Nicky, Ginger, me and my license... paradise... we managed to really fuck it all up."
"After Ginger took off, she wasn't much help to anybody. She found some pimps, lowlifes, druggies and bikers in L.A.. And in a few months, they went through all the money and all the jewels. After they found her body, I hired a private doctor to do another autopsy. He said they gave her a hot dose. In the end, all she had left was $3,600 in mint-condition coins."
"No matter what the feds or the papers might have said about my car-bombing, it was amateur night - and you could tell. Whoever it was, they put the dynamite under the passenger side. But what they didn't know - what nobody outside the factory knew - was that that model car was made with a metal plate under the driver's seat. It's the only thing that saved my life. The bombing was never authorized, but I suspect I know who lit the fuse. [cut to Nicky meeting up with his gang in the cornfield] And so did the powers that be."
"The word was out. The bosses had enough of Nicky. They had enough. How much were they gonna take? So they made an example of him and his brother. They buried them while they were still breathing. They had other ideas for me."
"The town will never be the same. After the Tangiers, the big corporations took it all over. Today, it looks like Disneyland. And while the kids play cardboard pirates, Mommy and Daddy drop the house payments and Junior's college money on the poker slots. In the old days, dealers knew your name, what you drank, what you played. Today, it's like checking into an airport, and if you order room service, you're lucky if you get it by Thursday. Today, it's all gone. You got a whale show up with four million in a suitcase, and some 25-year-old hotel school kid is gonna want his social security number. After the Teamsters got knocked out of the box, the corporations tore down practically every one of the old casinos. And where did the money come from to rebuild the pyramids? Junk bonds. But in the end, I wound up right back where I started. I could still pick winners, and I could still make money for all kinds of people back home. And why mess up a good thing? And that's that."
"Got a lot of holes in the desert. And a lot of problems are buried in those holes. Except you gotta do it right. I mean, you gotta have the hole already dug before you show up with a package in the trunk. Otherwise, you're talking about a half hour or 45 minutes of digging. And who knows who's gonna be coming along in that time? Before you know it, you gotta dig a few more holes; you could be there all fucking night!"
"[introducing Ace] He made his first bet when he was 15 years old, and he always made money. But he didn't bet like you or me. You know, having some fun with it, shit like that. He'd bet like a fucking brain surgeon. He had to know everything, this guy. He'd find the kind of inside stuff nobody else knew, and that's what he'd put his money on. Even back home, years ago, when we were first hanging out together, he'd know if the quarterback was on coke, if his girlfriend was knocked up. He'd get the wind velocity so he could judge the field goals. He even figured out the different bounce you got off the different kinds of wood they used on college basketball courts, y'know? He'd be working on this shit day and night. There was nothing about a game he was going to bet that he didn't know. Season after season, the prick was the only guaranteed winner that I ever knew, but he was so serious about it all, I don't think he ever enjoyed himself. But that's just the way he was."
"[About the bosses] These old greaseballs may not look it, but believe me, these are the men who secretly control Las Vegas, because they managed the Teamsters Union. The Teamsters Union was who you had to go to in order to borrow money to build a casino. And no one got approved for a loan from the Teamster's pension fund unless these guys in the room knew they were going to get their little suitcases."
"They had so much fucking money in there, you could build a house outta stacks of $100 bills. And the best part was that upstairs, the board of directors didn't know what the fuck was going on. I mean, to them, everything looked on the up-and-up, right? Wrong! The guys inside the counting room were all slipped in there to skim the joint dry. They'd do short counts, they'd lose fill slips. They'd even take cash right outta the drop boxes. And it was up to this guy, right here, standing in front of about 2 million dollars, to skim the cash off the top without anybody getting wise — the IRS, or anybody. Now, notice how in the count room, nobody ever seems to see anything. Somebody's always looking the other way. Now look at these guys. They look busy, right? They're counting money. Who'd want to bother them? I mean, God forbid they should make a mistake and forget to steal. Meanwhile, you're in and you're out, past the jack-off guard, who gets an extra C note a week just to watch the door. I mean, it's routine, business as usual — in, out, hello, goodbye — and that's all there is to it. Just another fat fuck, walking out of the casino with a suitcase. Now that suitcase was going straight to one place: right to Kansas City, which was as close to Las Vegas as the Midwest bosses could go without getting themselves arrested. That suitcase was all the bosses ever wanted, and they wanted it every month."
"But I knew how to keep the bosses happy. Whenever they gave me little jobs to do, you know, to send a message, I would carry things out to a tee. Like the time Tony Dogs, who's supposed to be the new maniac tough guy in town, shot up one of Remo's bars. Here's a fucking guy, kills two of Remo's guys and a poor fucking waitress who's just working on her night off of all things. I mean, this guy's just begging to be made an example of."
"[about Anthony Dogs' interrogation] To be truthful with you, I had to admire this fucking guy. He was one of the toughest Irishmen I ever met. This son-of-a-bitch was tough. For two days and two fucking nights, we beat the shit out of this guy. I mean, we even stuck ice picks in his balls. But he never talked. In the end, I had to put his fucking head in a vice."
"Listen to me, Anthony. I got your head in a fucking vice. I'll squash your fucking head like a grapefruit if you don't give me a name. Don't make me have to do this, please. Don't make me be a bad guy, come on."
"Charlie M? Charlie M?! YOU MADE ME POP YOUR FUCKING EYE OUTTA YOUR HEAD TO PROTECT THAT PIECE OF SHIT?! CHARLIE M?! YOU DUMB MOTHERFUCKER!"
"I think that you've gotten the wrong impression about me. I think, in all fairness, I should explain to you exactly what it is that I do. For instance, tomorrow morning I'll get up nice and early, take a walk down over to the bank, walk in and see and uh, if you don't have my money for me, I'll crack your fucking head wide open in front of everybody in the bank. And just about the time that I'm coming out of jail, hopefully, you'll be coming out of your coma. And guess what? I'll split your fucking head open again. 'Cause I'm fucking stupid. I don't give a fuck about jail. That's my business. That's what I do. And we know what you do, don't we, Charlie? You fuck people out of money and get away with it! Hey, you fat Irish prick, you put my fucking money to sleep! You go get my money or I'll put your fucking brain to sleep!"
"You know I'm trying to put something really big together out here. You know what I'm talking about, huh? You know! If you're acting like this now, how can I depend on you?"
"You know, I don't wanna bring this up, but you've been treating a lot of people with a lot of disrespect, even your own wife."
"[Watching the FBI plane overhead while golfing] What the fuck is this? Where's this fucking guy gonna land, in the fairway? They're fucking agents, Frankie, look at this! $100 for whoever hits the plane."
"[Chewing out Sam in the Nevada desert] You said I'm bringing heat on you?! I gotta listen to people because of your fucking shit?! You're ordering me out?! You better get your own fucking army, pal!"
"[Chewing out Sam in the Nevada desert] Get this through your head, you Jew motherfucker, you! You only exist out here because of ME! That's the only reason! Without me, you, personally - every fucking wiseguy skell around will take a piece of your fucking Jew ass! THEN where you gonna go?! You're fucking warned! Don't ever go over my fucking head again, you motherfucker, you!"
"I used to send Marino back home with a piece of what I made. Not a big piece, but what did they know? They were 1,500 miles away, and I don't know anyone who can see that far."
"[To Frank Marino, realizing how far he's gone with his affair with Ginger] I've fucked up, Frankie. I fucked up real good this time. I should never have started with this fucking broad."
"[After Andy Stone is murdered by two men as he is walking to his car] As much as they liked him, he wasn't one of us. He wasn't Italian. As far as they knew, he could've talked. Otherwise, Stoney might still be alive. The first one to skip was John Nance. He found a nice warm secluded place in Costa Rica. He thought nobody would find him there. But then his kid got nabbed by the Feds for drugs. And so, naturally, the bosses were afraid he'd come out of hiding just to save his kid and give 'em all up. So... [The same two men come behind a bleeding John Nance and shoot him in the head] But anyway they, you know, they all had to follow. Everybody went down. Before you knew it, anybody who knew anything wound up getting whacked."
"It took months for everything to calm down. But finally, my guys got out on bail and the bosses wanted me to send my brother Dominick out to Vegas. Always the dollars. Always the fucking dollars. I mean, it was still way too hot for me to even go near Vegas, so I set up a meeting with the guys way out in the sticks. I didn't want my brother to get fucked around. I mean, what's right is right. They don't give a fuck about— [Frankie hits him from behind with a baseball bat] AGH!"
"Commissioner Webb: Mr. Rothstein, you people never will understand the way it works out here. You're all just our guests, but you act like you're at home. Let me tell you something, partner: you ain't home, but that's where we're gonna send you if it harelips the Governor. Thank you for your time."
"Paige Novodor: Good evening, everyone. I'm Paige Novodor. What should've been a routine licensing hearing turned into bedlam yesterday when the flamboyant Tangiers Casino executive, Sam "Ace" Rothstein, accused the state's top gaming officials of corruption and hypocrisy. In a wild and unprecedented outburst that followed his gaming license denial, Rothstein followed several stunned commissioners into the hallway, where he continued his harangue until his own lawyers and friends urged him to leave."
"Frank Marino: [Narrating, when asked by Remo if Nicky's having an affair with Ginger] What could I say? I knew if I gave the wrong answer — I mean, Nicky, Ginger, Ace — all of 'em could wind up getting killed. Because there's one thing about these old-timers: they don't like any fucking around with the other guys' wives. It's bad for business. So I lied. Even though I knew that by lying to Gaggi, I could wind up getting killed too."
"No one stays at the top forever."
"Luck has nothing to do with the games they play."
"They had it all, they ran the show, and it was paradise...while it lasted."
"Don't Push Your Luck."
"Winner loses all."
"Robert De Niro - Sam "Ace" Rothstein"
"Sharon Stone - Ginger McKenna"
"Joe Pesci - Nicky Santoro"
"James Woods - Lester Diamond"
"Don Rickles - Billy Sherbert"
"Alan King - Andy Stone"
"Kevin Pollak - Philip Green"
"L. Q. Jones - Pat Webb"
"Dick Smothers - Senator"
"Frank Vincent - Frank Marino"
"John Bloom - Don Ward"
"Pasquale Cajano - Remo Gaggi"
"Melissa Prophet - Jennifer Santoro"
"Bill Allison - John Nance"
"Vinny Vella - Artie Piscano"
"Oscar Goodman - Himself"
"Catherine Scorsese - Piscano's mother"
"Philip Suriano - Dominick Santoro"
"Erika Von Tagen - Older Amy"
"Richard Riehle - Charlie Clark"
"Frankie Avalon - Himself"
"Steve Allen - Himself"
"Jayne Meadows - Herself"
"Jerry Vale - Himself"
"[In a monotone voice after being implanted with a tracking chip in his arm before Q] Ow."
"[To Vesper] You represent the Treasury."
"[Takes documents out of envelope in his vehicle] I love you too, M."
"[Bond returns to his seat in a game of poker after being poisoned] I'm sorry. That last hand... nearly killed me."
"You know, I never understood all these elaborate tortures. It's the simplest thing to cause more pain than a man can possibly endure. And of course, it's not only the immediate agony, but the knowledge that if you do not yield soon enough, there will be little left to identify you as a man. The only question remains: will you yield, in time?"
"Who the hell do they think they are? I report to the Prime Minister, and even he's smart enough not to ask me what we do. Have you ever seen such a bunch of self-righteous, arse-covering prigs? They don't care what we do, they care what we get photographed doing. And how the hell could Bond be so stupid? I give him 00 status, and he celebrates by shooting up an embassy. Is the man deranged? And where the hell is he? In the old days, if an agent did something that embarrassing, he'd have the good sense to defect. Christ, I miss the Cold War!"
"And now he knows something about you. He knows you're reckless. [Steps into a lift elevator, without James] Take the next one. Take the next one. There isn't enough space for me and your ego."
"[Last lines] I'm sorry, James. [The lift she is in falls into water and she drowns]"
"[James and Vesper meets René at an outdoor cafe] My name is Mathis. Rene Mathis. I'm your contact here. [James asks if Le Chiffre is aware of being surveilled] Le Chiffre? I don't think so. Probably because there's no "we." Just me. I'm afraid if you get into trouble here... the cavalry won't be coming over the nearest hill. Le Chiffre arrived yesterday... and spent the time reestablishing old relationships. The chief of police and he are now quite close. That's him, with the mustache. Over my left shoulder. Well, that could make life quite difficult. Yeah, and quite possibly shorter. He's not a very subtle man. I thought about trying to buy his services, but we frankly... couldn't afford to outbid Le Chiffre. [Police cruisers arrive with officers crowding around the police chief] I hate to say it... but the accountants seem to be running Ml6 these days. Oh, not that I have anything against accountants. [Strokes Vesper's shoulder] Many of them are lovely people. So I decided that it was cheaper to supply his deputy... with evidence that we were bribing the chief. It's amazing what you can do with Photoshop these days, isn't it? I think your odds are improving, Mr. Bond."
"Always Bet On Bond"
"Discover how James... became Bond."
"A whisper of love. A whisper of hate."
"Daniel Craig - James Bond"
"Eva Green - Vesper Lynd"
"Mads Mikkelsen - Le Chiffre"
"Judi Dench - M"
"Giancarlo Giannini - Rene Mathis"
"Jesper Christensen - Mr. White"
"Jeffrey Wright - Felix Leiter"
"Ronnie Schell: Sgt. Duffy/Voice of Jake"
"Ken Berry: Dr. Franklin "Frank" Wilson"
"Sandy Duncan: Dr. Elizabeth "Liz" Bartlett"
"Harry Morgan: Gen. Stilton"
"Roddy McDowall: Mr. Stallwood"
"McLean Stevenson: Dr. Norman Link"
"Jesse White: Earnest Ernie (the Gambling Dealer)"
"Alan Young: Dr. Winger (veterinarian)"
"Hans Conried: Chief Dr. Heffel"
"James Hampton: Capt. Anderson"
"Howard Platt: Col. Woodruff"
"William Prince: Mr. Charlie Olympus"
"Ralph Manza: Weasel"
"Tom Pedi: Honest Harry"
"Hank Jones: Officer"
"Sorrell Brooke: Judge"
"Fred Whalen: Sarasota Slim (Pool Hustler)"
"People get married and then they do the most hideous, unbelievable things to each other."
"We're the Flying Elvises. Utah chapter."
"A comedy about one bride, two grooms, and 34 flying Elvises."
"A comedy about one bride, two grooms, and a wedding party you won't believe."
"It's a love that's All Shook Up!"
"James Caan - Tommy Korman"
"Nicolas Cage - Jack Singer"
"Sarah Jessica Parker - Betsy Nolan/Donna Korman"
"Peter Boyle - Chief Orman"
"Seymour Cassel - Tony Cataracts"
"Pat Morita - Mahi Mahi"
"Johnny Williams - Johnny Sandwich"
"John Capodice - Sally Molars"
"Robert Costanzo - Sidney Tomashefsky"
"Anne Bancroft - Bea Singer"
"Tony Shalhoub - Buddy Walker"
"Burton Gilliam - Roy Bacon"
"Bruno Mars - Little Elvis"
"Never ignore a man's courtesy."
"I will fuck you up if you fuck with me, OK? I know three kinds of Karate: Jujitsu, Aikido, and regular Karate."
"When good luck is a long shot, you have to hedge your bets."
"If you stay in the game long enough, you'll see everything, win everything, and lose everything."
"Philip Baker Hall - Sydney Brown"
"John C. Reilly - John Finnegan"
"Gwyneth Paltrow - Clementine"
"Samuel L. Jackson - Jimmy"
"Philip Seymour Hoffman - Craps player"
"Robert Ridgely - Keno Manager"
"Melora Walters - Jimmy's Girl"
"Eat her fucking face off, Martha!"
"[Scott and Kate hold up their weapons to intimidate a bad driver] Wrong couple to fuck with, pal!"
"Are you guys familiar with the cliché, "It's a cliché because it's true? Well, that cliché about clichés being true has never been more true than right now with the cliché, the house always wins.""
"Will Ferrell - Scott Johansen"
"Amy Poehler - Kate Johansen"
"Jason Mantzoukas - Frank Theodorakis"
"Ryan Simpkins - Alex Johansen"
"Nick Kroll - Bob Schaeffer"
"Allison Tolman - Dawn Mayweather"
"Rob Huebel - Police Officer Chandler"
"Michaela Watkins - Raina Theodrakis"
"Jeremy Renner - Tommy Papouli"
"Cedric Yarbrough - Reggie Henderson"
"Rory Scovel - Joe Mayweather"
"Lennon Parham - Martha"
"Andrea Savage - Laura"
"Andy Buckley - Craig"
"Kyle Kinane - Kevin Garvey"
"Steve Zissis - Carl Shackler"
"Sam Richardson - Marty"
"Randall Park - Buckler"
"Jessica St. Clair - Reba"
"Alexandra Daddario - Corsica"
"Jessie Ennis - Rachel"
"Gillian Vigman - Becky"
"Wayne Federman - Chip Dave"
"Sebastian Maniscalco - Stand-Up Comic"
"Linda Porter - Old Lady"
"Ian Roberts - Driver at College Campus"
"A hilarious high-stakes jackpot!"
"[after he hits a rock] Ouch! Wow! What a bump!"
"[after Canasta steals the gold] You realize that this is not going to go unchallenged."
"[last lines] The moral of the story is, don't try to steal no 18 karats from no rabbit."
"[on the telephone] Hello, Dutch? Bill O'Brien! Say listen, I'm over at the Pigeon Club takin' in the sights, and, uh, I ran into somethin' that I thought might be of mutual interest to us. An out-of-town job came shoo-shooing in here a while ago and throwin' away money like birdseed."
"I'm pretending there's something swell about you. This delusion came over me while we were dancing. You know, when you look into a girl's eyes and you think you see someone that isn't there... well that's what I saw."
"Oh, if only I had my slave costume and my chains!"
"[to Bill O'Brien] I'll remember this night for a long time. When things don't seem so good, I'll remember Mr. Gibbons, and Mr. Engle... and you."
"[seeing a waiter put two drinks on the table] Fine, fine! I no longer have to order drinks. I just attract them. He shall have liquor wherever he goes! [to Engle] As I understand from your communication, Mr. Engle, you're on the brink of self-destruction. May I shake your hand? A brilliant idea! I speak as one who has destroyed himself a score of times. I am, Mr. Engle, a veteran corpse. We are all corpses here! This rendezvous is one of the musical graveyards of the town. Caters to zombies hopping around with dead hearts and price tags for souls. Hmmmp! [offering him one of the drinks] Will you join me, sir? It is the custom here for the dead to drink - heavily! [drinks] Allow me to present my credentials as a fellow cadaver. I'm being divorced by my wife whom I love dearly in my own nasty way. I was disemboweled by another woman. I have written three bad plays in a row, and next year I'll write a worse one. I have neither a home, a single hope, nor a shred of curiosity left. Bankrupt and broke, I've destroyed myself, sir, in becoming famous. I am no longer a man, Mr. Engle, I'm an epitaph over an ash can! And now, sir, what's your story?"
"They'll deal you hope off the bottom."
"Yesterday's pain is tomorrow's joke. And you'll always end up laughing if you can manage not to cut your throat first."
"Stage Doorman: [looking out into the darkened, empty theater] Shhh! Hear that noise? That's the rats - always performing! If I left this scenery here, they'd eat it up - eat the whole theater up if it wasn't for the actors! The hollering frightens them."
"Douglas Fairbanks Jr. - Bill O'Brien"
"Rita Hayworth - Nina Barona"
"Thomas Mitchell - Eugene 'Gene' Gibbons"
"John Qualen - Charles Engle"
"George Watts - Joseph Hopper"
"Ralph Theodore - Dutch Enright"
"Eddie Foster - Louie Artino"
"Jack Roper - Eddie Burns"
"Constance Worth - Sylvia Marbe"
"Seven James Bonds at Casino Royale. They came to save the world and win a gal at Casino Royale. Six of them went to a heavenly spot. The seventh one is going to a place where it's terribly hot."
"I remember your chap Lenin very well. First class organizer. Second class mind."
""In my day spying was an alternative to war. The spy was a member of a select and immaculate priesthood, vocationally d-devoted, sublimely disinterested. Hardly a description of that sexual acrobat who leaves a t-trail of beautiful d-dead women like blown roses behind him."
"[Jimmy Bond is flailing his arms crazily trying to communicate] I never should have sent him to a Progressive school."
"Be careful, that's my loose kneecap."
"[Giving a description of his era's spy type] ... vocationally devoted, sublimely disinterested. Hardly a description of that sexual acrobat who leaves a trail of dead beautiful women like so many blown roses behind him, that bounder to whom you gave my name and number."
"Sir James: So, that's your plan, huh? The world full of beautiful women and all men shorter than yourself."
"[Pulls down the handle on a toilet and floor circulates to another room] It's the first john I've ever gone around with."
"Never trust a rich spy!"
"[Being led to a firing squad] You do know of course that this means an angry letter to The Times?"
"You can't shoot me! I have a very low threshold of death. My doctor says I can't have bullets enter my body at any time. I-I, eh, eh, oh, oh, what if I said I was pregnant?"
"[Speaking amorously to The Detainer, believing he has seduced her to his cause] And afterwords we can run amok! Or if you're too tired, we can walk amok."
"All this trouble just to make up for your feelings of sexual inferiority? I'm beginning to think your a trifle neurotic."
"Look at my garden. Out there - there is a b-black rose. Not dark red. But, black - as a raven's wing at midnight. Gentlemen, I would not exchange one single pe-petal of that lovely flower for anything your world has to offer, including an Aston Ma-martin complete with lethal accessories."
"It's vaporized lysergic acid, it's highly explosive!"
"This will show Sir James, once and for all, which of us has the perfect body. The poor boob!"
"Proceed with SMERSH Plan B. Sir James Bond is back - with his morals, his vows, and his celibate image. We must destroy that image."
"[hic] ...Four... [hic] ...three... [hic] ...two... [hic]"
"[Escaping the firing squad] So long, suckers!"
"Debussy. He plays Debussy every afternoon from sunset until its too dark to read the music. Stands on his head a lot. Eats royal jelly. Let's his intestines down and washes them by hand. Something he learned during his sojourn in Tibet."
"He used to say a good spy is a pure spy - inside and out."
"[To Evelyn Tremble entering the laboratory. He hands him a form] If you'd be good enough to sign here, sir. It's not for me, it's for the Official Secrets Act."
"[Lions approaching vehicle] I did not come here to be devoured by symbols of monarchy."
"Grand Prix enthusiasts may be worried by the amount of time it has taken me to get into this Lotus Formula Three. What they don't realize is, although Le Chiffre thinks he has a faster car than me, I am faster in my Lotus Formula Three. Hee, hee!"
"[To Miss Goodthighs] Look, I think I better... freshen up a bit. Quick. I'll be back in five minutes. If I'm not, start without me."
"Don't worry about that chair with a hole in the middle. It's merely waiting to be reupholstered."
"...Handle these capsules with care. Dr. Noah's bacillus is highly contagious. This germ, when distributed in the atmosphere will make all women beautiful and destroy all men over 4'6". Please handle these capsules with care."
"Oh, my love is like a red, red rose - that's newly sprung in June."
"Peter Sellers as Evelyn Tremble (James Bond/007)"
"Ursula Andress as Vesper Lynd (007)"
"David Niven as Sir James Bond"
"Orson Welles as Le Chiffre"
"Joanna Pettet as Mata Bond"
"Daliah Lavi as The Detainer/007"
"Woody Allen as Jimmy Bond/Dr. Noah"
"Deborah Kerr as Agent Mimi/Lady Fiona"
"William Holden as Ransome"
"Charles Boyer as Le Grand"
"John Huston as McTarry/M"
"Kurt Kasznar as Smernov"
"George Raft as George Raft"
"Jean-Paul Belmondo as French Legionnaire"
"Terence Cooper as Cooper (James Bond/007)"
"Barbara Bouchet as Moneypenny"
"Angela Scoular as Buttercup"
"Gabriella Licudi as Eliza"
"Tracey Crisp as Heather"
"Elaine Taylor as Peg"
"Jacqueline Bisset as Miss Goodthighs"
"Alexandra Bastedo as Meg"
"Anna Quayle as Frau Hoffner"
"Derek Nimmo as Hadley"
"Ronnie Corbett as Polo"
"This is me! This is how I win."
"I know. I know. Jews and colon cancer. What is that? I thought we were the chosen people."
"I made a crazy risk. You gamble and it's about to pay off."
"[weeping] Everything I do is not goin' right! Everything I do is not goin' right! I don't know what to do, I really don't."
"[holding the black opal] This fuckin' thing makes me feel like I can fly."
"Arno: Howard, you did this to yourself."
"Dinah Ratner: I think you are the most annoying person I have ever met. I hate being with you, I hate looking at you... And if I had my way I would never - see you - again."
"Adam Sandler — Howard Ratner, a jeweler and gambling addict"
"LaKeith Stanfield — Demany, an intermediary who recruits clients for Howard"
"Julia Fox — Julia De Fiore, Howard's employee and mistress"
"Kevin Garnett — a fictionalized version of himself during his years with the Boston Celtics"
"Idina Menzel — Dinah Ratner, Howard's wife"
"Eric Bogosian — Arno Moradian, a loan shark married to Dinah's sister"
"Judd Hirsch — Gooey, Howard's father-in-law"
"Keith William Richards — Phil, Arno's quick-tempered lead goon"
"Mike Francesa — Gary, Howard's bookie"
"Jonathan Aranbayev — Eddie Ratner, Howard's elder son"
"Noa Fisher — Marcel Ratner, Howard's daughter"
"The Weeknd — himself"
"Tommy Kominik — Nico, one of Arno's goons"
"Maksud Agadjani — Yussi, Howard's employee"
"Andrea Linsky — Joani, Howard's employee"
"Roman Persits — Roman, the bench jeweler at Howard's shop"
"Arthur Borukhov — Elan, Howard's employee"
"Ronald Greenberg — Rodney Bronstein, a pawnbroker"
"Marshall Greenberg — Steve Bronstein, a pawnbroker"
"Jacob Igielski — Beni Ratner, Howard's younger son"
"Hailey Gates — the receptionist at the Adley's auction house"
"Mitchell Wenig — Larry, one of Howard's creditors"
"Keren Shemel — Eiline Goldfarb, the mother of one of Marcel's classmates"
"Aren Topian — Eric Goldfarb, the father of one of Marcel's classmates"
"Louis Anthony Arias — Buddy, one of Arno's goons"
"Anthony Mecca — Michael, one of Arno's goons"
"Jake Ryan — "Dwarf 2""
"Greg "Mr. Flawless" Yuna — a fictionalized version of himself, a jeweler to celebrities"
"Benjy Kleiner — Aaron, Dinah's brother"
"Josh Ostrovsky — Noah, Dinah's cousin"
"Alexander Gilkes — the Adley's auctioneer"
"Wayne Diamond — the High Roller (a fictionalized version of himself), a fashion designer and gambler"