"Your partner got killed. You lost your job. You went to jail. Your girlfriend walked. You got a job as a security guard at a hundred and eighty-two dollars a week. You know what you are, Hank? You're a black man."

"[After firing off two shots an a senior woman's vehicle, making it skid to a halt] Ma'am, you may now, reprocure, your vehicle. [The vehicle instantly explodes]"

"[Upon seeing Washington shows up with a hit squad] He Must've Grown Up In A White Neighbourhood [On seeing his being held at gunpoint] Oh, thank you Jesus!"

"[Recurring line] What the problem is?"

"[A tall woman is holding Earl up with one hand] Okay, put him down. [Woman looks at him quizzically] In a minute or, two. Don't hurry."

"Martin Lawrence as Earl Montgomery"

"I had a partner! I would have taken a bullet for him! You I'm having a hard time not shooting!"

"Steve Zahn as Hank Rafferty"

"Colm Feore as Detective Frank McDuff"

"I know baby. But I promise you. My life is already pretty much figured out."

"Neil Fingleton as Lovecraftian Samurai"

"Rinko Kikuchi as Witch"

"Natsuki Kunimoto as Riku"

"Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa as Shogun Tsunayoshi"

"Hiroshi Yamada as Hara"

"Togo Igawa as Tengu Lord"

"Takato Yonemoto as Basho"

"Shû Nakajima as Horibe (as Shu Nakajima)"

"Min Tanaka as Lord Asano"

"Jin Akanishi as Chikara"

"Masayoshi Haneda as Yasuno"

"Tadanobu Asano as Lord Kira"

"This Christmas, seize eternity."

"Hiroshi Sogabe as Hazama"

"Bill Duke as Lieutenant Washington"

"This January, a buddy comedy without the buddies."

"An outcast exiled, enslaved, destined for revenge."

"Mari Morrow as Lola"

"Eric Roberts as Nash"

"Kai, forgive me for not thanking you for defeating the beast and saving my life. A samurai does not take credit for victories of others. [Presents Basho's sword to Kai] This belonged to Basho. A samurai wears two swords. [Kai takes the sword and bows]"

"No one, but you and I, can know that you are, and will always be, the joy of my life."

"[To Witch] My Lady, Kai has returned."

"[First lines] Ancient feudal Japan, a land shrouded in mystery, forbidden to foreigners. A group of magical islands home to witches and demons. A nation of rival provinces whose lords were ruled by a shogun whose will is absolute. Peace in the realm is kept by the samurai, master swordsmen tasked with protecting their lord and their province at all costs. Should a samurai ever lose of fail his master, he suffers the greatest shame in all Japanese society. He becomes a ronin. And yet, to know they story of the 47 Ronin, is to know the story of all Japan."

"Keanu Reeves as Kai"

"[To a bowing Kai] I would rather have been killed by that beast than be saved by a half-breed."

"Hiroyuki Sanada as Oishi"

"Jacob Tomuri — Mad Max"

"Elsa Pataky — Vulalini General"

"Daniel Webber — War Boy"

"John Howard — The People Eater"

"Angus Sampson — The Organic Mechanic"