Dril

"everyone less mentally ill than me is Privileged, everyone more mentally ill than me is Toxic, everyone equally mentally ill to me is Cool"

"how about instead of drop the ball on new years we drop the damn gas prices for onve"

"for like 8 months i thought covid was one of those joke diseases where you ask "what's covid" and the other guy tells tou to suck his nuts"

"society is so much fucking Bitched ....."

"no heaven or hell when you die, everyone is just herded into a room with a big scoreboard saying which person blasted the most Cum"

"ive generated over 100,000 wordles in my head and completed them easily. what more can i say of it"

"marijuana did columbine"

"my biggest fear is that theres an earth quake while im jacking off and little pieces of cum start flyiyng into my mouth and all over my dog"

"you call this shit rotisserie chicken? I bet this shit hasnt even rotated 1 time in its entire life."

"(suddenly becoming very somber) no Woman should have to pay over $10 for a Brassiere."

"I am Donald "Penis" Trump, known & hated for my Inflammatory rhetoric, as well as my old mafia-style Racism. Looking forward to posting here"

"just clicking my mouse a bit. having a look at my files"

"i really dont care what Yankee Doodle did when he went to town. His toxic fanbase tells me everything I need to know about him ."

"Bad news folks! i waited in line for 16 hours to see the queen. But by the time i got there she was fuckin DEAD!!!!!!"

"now that elon has disposed of the left wing woke brigade I can finally post pictures of my COCK!!!"

"ripleys suck my dick or not"

"you just paid $8 to eat my ass stupid #BlockTheBlue"

"Having a bad one; First my Lockheed Martin investment tanks after the ceo posts his penis. Now Cold stone Creamery just called me the N-Word"

"HELP ELON!!ELON!! HELP! HELP! POST "DOG COIN""

"CHIEF: dracula is in our sights. Take the shot! SNIPER: I can't, Sir. I'm Woke! ME (watching through binoculars): He's woke! He wont do it!"

"if you drop a chicken cutlet on the floor it absorbs all kinds of dirt & particles that make it undesirable. Thats sort of how AI works"

"many claim to have seen me walking around the Las Vegas strip with a Device attached to my penis. This is untrue #NoDevice"

"is it true that if 3 adult men are jacking off in a bunk bed their hand movements will eventually Synchronize ?"

"" You know Gru been Fucking those minions " No , i don't know that. But thanks for showing your ignorance."

"born to be bull shit"

"the last time i stopped jacking off for 1 week I went insane and wrote the movie The God Father"

"my thoughts on the post "Georg Jetson Sucked Me" . First off you spelled his name wrong. Second off youre an idiot even thinking that"

"Twitter, as I understand it, is a sort of "Hell" that I was banished to upon death in my previous life. In this abstract realm, the only thing I am certain of is that my cries are awarded "Favs" or "RTs" when they are particularly miserable or profane. These ethereal merits do nothing to ease my suffering, but I have deliriously convinced myself that gathering enough of them will impress my unseen superiors and grant me a promotion to a higher plane of existence. This is my sole motivation."

"it is absolutely a full time job, dealing with this Shit. i'm talking True full time, 24 hours. Listening to the perverts scream at me in the instant dm box while I'm trying to cobble together a coherent post. Standing on thje median strip at a busy intersection, next to the guy with a 20% off mattress sign, failing to shill copies of my Horrible book. Waking up screaming from Night terrors involving complete strangers accusing me of "Selling OUt." There is no clocking out. The clock is a part of me, it's always inside of me, and I'm fucked."

"My posts are the bible. My brain is the bible. The books I'm releasing are bibles. It's all bible, baby"

"You may have heard of a character from the batman movies, called the Joker. The joker just lives a normal life like you or me, going to the grocery store, and the office or what have you. But WHen the joker puts his mask on, he becomes the joker, and he mercilessly goes out there and gets Paid. Thats what I try to do in my life and the way I live life, and I do do it every day, and it is the essence of understanding my pain."