"[after finally pushing his first chair; pauses] "...OH, COME ON! How was I supposed to [know I had to] do that?! You …"

"If there was just - just - a purple monster sitting in a corner, waiting for me to walk over it, I would shit myself …"

"Why is this good? Why bruh... this good?" [Ao Oni bursts in.] "AAGH - ! …What the hell?! How was I supposed to do any…"

"Oh, if that blue bastard, is just stickin' around -" [find a candle stand, which startles him] *gasp* "...That's new!"

"[begins the game; gets startled by the enemy character flying away from him] "Okay—UH! …Well, that startled the crap …"

"'Get Back And Do Your Job'. How 'bout you go fornicate yourself with a rake?"

"! ...What was that?! What the hell was that?! What did you just throw at me?! ...[I] wasn't ready for that! Jeezus! C…"

"That guy was, like, in full body armor! How'd they kill him?"

"…Well! Glad you're being so polite about this. You're very civil—oh my god! I didn't blo[ck]… I didn't mean to look d…"

"[to his phone] "Shaddup!" [groaning, then laughing] "...It's my mom!""