First Quote Added
April 10, 2026
Latest Quote Added
""Think of a number between 1 and 10. The number you're thinking of is 7." [from Episodes 100 and 101]"
""Critics agree - of all the TV shows on today, this is probably one of them." [from Episodes 98 and 99]"
""Penelope's back today, folks. Some women just can't get enough of me." [from Episodes 96 and 97]"
""If a tree falls while our sound effects man is at lunch, does it make a sound?" [from Episodes 92 and 93]"
""Everything else you watch on TV this week will just be anti-climatic." [from Episodes 91 and 94]"
""Don't bother checking NBC, kids. They're not running cartoons anymore." [from Episode 91, although replaced with the quote above it]"
""Today's show is inspected for your safety by number 29." [from Episodes 90 and 95]"
""You'll like today's show, folks. No Binky, no Nermal, no Buddy Bears - just a lot of me." [from Episode 89]"
""Today's show is brought to you in color unless the artists ran out of crayons." [from Episode 88]"
""And don't let your dog watch this show. It's too good for him." [from Episode 87]"
""Hey, you could watch some other show, but why would you want to?" [from Episode 86]"
""If you could only watch one TV show this year, this is the one to watch." [from Episode 85]"
""And make sure you stick around after the show for the big cast party." [from Episode 84]"
""Reproductions of the accounts and descriptions of this cartoon show is prohibited." [from Episode 83]"
""We're environmentally sound; all of today's jokes are recycled from last week's show." [from Episode 82]"
""And for my next trick, I will make the rest of the show magically appear!" [from Episode 81]"
""The only cartoon show that comes with a double-your-money-back guarantee." [from Episode 80]"
""Hey, sit back and relax. This is television. It's good." [from Episode 79 in syndicated airings only]"
""Where else can you get this much comedy for your viewing dollar?" [from Episode 79]"
""If you like this show, tell a friend. If you don't like it, my name is Heathcliff." [from Episode 78]"
""If this show were any more entertaining, we'd be on pay-per-view." [from Episode 77]"
""If you can find a better show on television, watch it!" [from Episode 76]"
""Keep your tickets handy. We'll be raffling off in Turkey at the end of the show." [from Episode 75 in syndicated airings only]"
""Today's show is dedicated to loyal and courageous pizza delivery persons everywhere." [from Episode 75]"
""Hey, don't get jealous just because I have a theme song and you don't." [from Episode 74 in syndicated airings only]"
""The following is made possible by a grant from the Lasagna Manufacturers of America." [from Episode 74]"
""I haven't had so much fun since Nermal fell in the mud!" [from Episode 73]"
""When they invented television, this is pretty much what they had in mind." [from Episode 72]"
""This show is the most fun you can have without marinara sauce." [from Episode 71]"
""Serving cartoon watchers the world over since 1988." [from Episode 70]"
""Hey, I'll return the favor. When you get your own cartoon show, I'll watch." [from Episode 68]"
""Welcome to my world. Did you bring food?" [from Episode 67]"
""I'm sick of those singers. Can we get some, like, Elvis impersonators for next week?" [from Episode 66]"
""Thank you. You know, a funny thing happened to me on the way to the cartoon show." [from Episode 64]"
""This show is the only possible reason for getting up this early." [from Episode 62]"
""Just think of me as like a Teenage Mutant Ninja Pussycat." [from Episode 60]"
""The Buddy Bears are on the show today, folks, so keep that channel-changer handy." [from Episode 58]"
""Garfield and Friends will be right back; at least I'll be." [from Episode 57]"
""Here are some commercials and then, more of me." [from Episode 56]"
""We interrupt this program to bring you commercials. Wow." [from episode 55 on remastered Boomerang prints and the 9Story Season 3 DVD only]"
""And today, we're having a half-off sale on Odie, 'cause he's half off." [from Episode 55 in syndicated airings only; the original and DVD versions have none due to an error]"
""If any rating services call, we're spelled G-A-R-F-I-E-L-D." [From Episode 54 in syndicated airings only]"
""Enough of this entertainment jazz; let's have some commercials." [from Episode 53]"
""I'll be back right after they sell you stuff." [from Episode 52]"
""In a moment, I'll wave my finger and the music will stop." [from Episode 51]"
""I'd like to buy a vowel, please." [from Episode 50]"
""My lips never move. Wouldn't I make a great ventriloquist?" [from Episodes 49. 65]"
""It doesn't start until the fat lady screams." [from Episodes 47 and 55]"
""Today's show is brought to you by the letter K and the number 9." [from Episode 45]"
""Change channels and you'll never see your dog again." [from Episode 44]"