"I was walking past a sex shop an' that. One, it was open early which I never understood, it was about eight o'clock in the morning. Who needs butt plugs then?"

"(After chatting about the Serbian sex machine invention and Karl said 'Did it have to be a woman or could they have got a gay fella in - butt plugs and that').."

"From someone whose dad buys him a spade for Christmas, I thought you'd be grateful!"

"All I'm sayin is.. I've since found out what they do do with 'em.. and if they do do that with them.. give 'em a go on that."

"It serves a purpose."

"You build up to it, don't you? You have that bit of a chat, and you go alright? Hows it going?. You get on an' that and then a little baby pops out."

"On homosexuals- They're more up for a bit more experimentation an' that -Podcast Series 1 Episode 2"

"Could the world fall?"

"Were you a tall baby?"

"You can only talk rubbish if you're aware of knowledge."

"Language is a powerful thing init...er..."

"On homosexuals- I'm still none the wiser as to why they do that - Video Podcast|Video Podcast 5"

"People who live in a glass house have to answer the door - Karl invents his own phrase based on Those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones."

"Whoop, there's an elephant in the room"

"You don't have to do it straight away, but just do it before it gets really bad - Karl re-evaluates the phrase A stitch in time saves nine."

"If you live in a glass house, don't be chucking stuff about. - Karl interprets the phrase Those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones."

"Just sort of wander about and that, and just not get seen [What he would do with the power of invisibility]"

"[Ricky asks what else he would do with the power of invisibility]Dunno, you could sort of go in shops when they're shut, just get in before they lock up."

"A stitch in five saves fifteen or whatever - Another re-evaluation by Karl of the phrase 'A stitch in time saves nine'"

"Don't be chucking that out. You might need that later - Karl interprets the phrase Waste not, want not."

"Talking about being in heaven- It's not fair though because all them lot have been up there ages with like a chance to get a bit of sun on the body and that so they'll look alright. I'll be wandering about with underpant marks and stuff."

"Now Hilda, she was your bog standard old woman."

"Walking down the street in London with Suzanne, saw a little homeless.. well I didn't see the homeless bloke right, I saw a leg stickin out of a doorway, thought 'here we go', right. Walked past it, right, you're not gonna believe this. Homeless.... Chinese fella. I've never seen one of them."

"Do you know like, when you're a bloke nudist, Do you ever get any who just have like a small knob?"

"The best thing you can do is look after yourself. Get on with it."

"I was at some night once, right. It was some night out and er, some people come running on stage. And some music started coming on. These four people came running out, it was two women, two blokes. It wasn't gay an' that. It was just a normal night -well, y'know, some party night out. These people come running on. You've got two women, you've got two blokes. They whip their knickers off. The fellas whip their undies off. All at the same time, like er, whatsit? Cheryl Baker was in it... Bucks Fizz. So that happened and all I'm saying is, right; before I had a look at the woman's bits, I just had a cheeky glance at the fellas' bits, just checkin' it out, checking everything's normal down there. Believe me, I had a look at the ladies' bits but I didn't know how long that pants were going to left off for."

"Yeh I know but, I remember one on our estate, right. And she was a bit... what's the word that you can use cos I don't want to offend anyone? I'd say mental... but sort of mental homeless, is that a term?"

"Yeah, we'll do that, Lanky."

"I was still using my eyes even though I had them shut"

"I saw a cockroach playing Pacman. It was on the internet, right, and somebody had linked up a cockroach to err... to some... I can't even be bothered explaining it, but that's what I'm saying - everything is moving on"

"I will not be lickin a frog, so there's nothin' to worry about"

"A dog has got human eyes."

"People moan about drugs being tested on animals. I sort of think it depends innit. If the drug's aspirin and the monkey's got a headache, is it right?"

"They've found this spider, in the jungle. Three foot long, it eats chicken. Bit weird, innit. People moan saying that you shouldn't lock animals up and all the rest of it, but to be honest I wish it was locked up. The idea that it's roaming in a jungle... get it locked up."

"I've been watchin birds more than insects recently, and the thing I've found with pigeons is: they've got wings but they walk a lot"

"It's like the panda, they say that's dying out. But what do they do? When you see them they're just sitting in the jungle eating"

"I'd kick it, and I'd say 'You knob-head'. - Karl tells Ricky his response to being poisoned by an octopus."

"In the sea you've got to be constantly sort of alert. It's worse in the sea [than anywhere else in the animal kingdom]. In the sea you've got an enemy behind every rock."

"Flies used to be happy-go-lucky, on their own; the sun’s out, have a fly about. Now, there’s little attacks going on."

"On octopuses - When you see 'em in films, they're running about an' that and everyone likes an octopus."

"It would be impossible, I'd just chuck meself into the salt pot or something. I'd hate that, that would be horrible that [Karl answering Ricky's question of how he would get Suzanne's attention in the Kitchen if he were a slug]"

"At no point am I going to lick a little frogs head."

"On chameleons - Stay green. Stay in the woods. Stay safe."

"They keep saying that sea levels are rising an all this. It's nowt to do with the icebergs melting, it's because there's too many fish in it. Get rid of some of the fish and the water will drop. Simple. Basic science."

"So I was watchin David Attenborough.. he makes his money out of flies and that dun' he"

"At what point is a wasp ever going to have a chat with a spider?"

"It is hard eating a little kangaroo knob."