"Capital residents claim this incredible story happened in Moscow. Odessa people insist that it happened in their beautiful city. Leningrad and Rostov-on-Don do not agree this. Seven cities dispute this, just as seven cities claim to be the birthplace of Homer. It must be said that it is unknown where this story took place, or whether it happened at all."

"Man with suitcases: Taxi! Taxi! Taxi! Be kind! I beg you! I am late. This is your car?"

"The audience likes detective movies. It's nice to watch a movie, knowing in advance how it will end. In general, it’s flattering to feel smarter than the authors."

"Everyone with no car, wants to buy it. And anyone who has a car, wants to sell it. And he doesn't do it just because he will stay without a car."

"So, as you noticed, it was a dark night. The unknown man tried very hard to go unnoticed... and he succeeded. It was so dark, quiet and deserted here, that you involuntarily wanted to commit a crime."

"Maxim: Who is the witness?"

"Beth Grant - Lois"

"Jayne Meadows - the voice of Mitch's mother"

"Lindsay Crystal - Holly Robbins"

"Jennifer Crystal - jogger"

"Bill McKinney - Matt"

"David Paymer - Ira Schalowitz"

"Bob Balaban - Dr. Jeffrey Sanborn (uncredited)"

"Josh Mostel - Barry Schalowitz"

"Jack Palance - Duke Washburn"

"Patricia Wettig - Barbara Robbins"

"Noble Willingham - Clay Stone"

"Jon Lovitz - Glen Robbins"

"Billy Crystal - Mitch Robbins"

"Pruitt Taylor Vince - Bud"

"Frank Welker - Norman (voice)"

"Daniel Stern - Phil Berquist"

"Please don't tell my kids I died taking a shit."

"If you guys wanna go home, go ahead. But that gold, that's the only dream I've got left."

"What in the name of John Wayne's ass is going on here?"

"Phil, going back to Arlene is like breaking back in to Alcatraz."

"Great buckets of bull shit. It's Curly come back from the dead!"

"Barbara Robbins: [on the speaker phone in front of Mitch's colleagues] Tonight I'm going to pull down your pants and sink my hands into your cute little ass and then give you a tongue bath, I'm going to start at your feet and slowly work my way up... [Mitch quickly crawls across the conference table and picks up the phone]"

"John Cena as Supe"

"Keegan-Michael Key as Mark"

"John Leguizamo as Rodrigo"

"Brianna Hildebrand as Brynn"

"Dennis Haysbert as Commander Richards"

"Tyler Mane as Axe"

"Judy Greer as Dr. Hicks"

"Christian Convery as Will"

"Finley Rose Slater as Zoey"

"[spins Zoey around as she runs up to him] No hugs."

"To the rambunctious kids running around inside the fire station, "This is not a playground!""

"We're going on a quest!"

"We only have 24 hours to bring back the rest of Dad."

"All quests start with the Manticore, the fearless warrior."

"I had someone who looked out for me. Someone who pushed me to be more than I ever thought I could be. I never had a dad, but I always had you."

"Put it in "O" for "Onward!""

"Noah Centineo — Langston"

"[reading his Father's letter] "I wrote this spell so I could see for myself who my guys grew up to be.""

"Nat Faxon — Peter Fleming"

"Jonathan Tucker — Hodak"

"Chris Pang — Johnny Smith"