"Porn has gone mainstream! It's like Coke or Pepsi with dicks in it. Look at Paris Hilton. She throatfucks a guy in ni…"

"Have you seen that Joe Francis guy who made Girls Gone Wild? That guy is the biggest fucking idiot piece of shit in t…"

"I don't want to be with anyone but you, so I will wait forever for you, okay? I will wait the rest of my life, becaus…"

"[To Lester nude in the kitchen] Sorry to change the subject on you, Lester, but if you're not fucking Miri, why is yo…"

"Delaney: What? Han Solo ain't never had no sex with Princess Leia in the Star War!"

"Brandon: [To Bobby] I will be patient with you. I will be there on your journey. I will be your Sherpa up the mountai…"

"Mr. Surya: I hate you ebony and ivory motherfuckers!"

"Deacon: [After getting covered in Stacey's feces during an anal sex scene] Can you believe this shit?! That chick fro…"

"Lester: [To Zack in the kitchen] Don't know what a Dutch rudder...? All right, you grab your dick, then you have some…"

"[Repeated line] Let us fuck!"