People From Ohio

"You sons of bitches. I just hate you. I hate you to the depths of my soul. I will hate you when I'm dead. I will hate you a million years after I'm dead. I will still hate you. My hate will be a star in the firmament that will shine down on your Republican asses forever. That's how deep this hatred is, because of what you're doing to this country. Ooh, did I say all that?"

"Wolf was in Israel, because that's where Wolf belongs, with Ariel Sharon about to croak. ... Wolf is an old friend of Ariel's. Wolf - remember - was the Washington Bureau Chief of the Jerusalem Post, before he signed on with CNN to work 80 hours a day. Ummm... I'm so sick of his face, I could just scream. You know, people e-mail me and say "What do you mean, he's a former German U-Boat commander?" Look - if you don't get it, you don't get it. But every movie made in the 40's about the German U-Boats had a guy who looked just like Wolf Blitzer. And his name is, um... German. (Beginning of the show)"

"I don't think Limbaugh has ever had children. If he did, he probably cooked them and ate them for dinner one night... Thinking it was a big chunk of lamb, or something. (Responding to listener talking about the reluctancy among right-wingers to send their kids into war, while discussing Limbaugh)"

"Do a Google on 'penis envy' and then listen to Rush Limbaugh. ... You will hear penis envy where it concerns Clinton."

"Republicans are vile. All Republicans are liars, cheats, sneaks; they are deceivers. They are immoral, and they have no ethical structure whatsoever. I don't care if they're members of Congress or your momma. If they are Republicans, they are thugs. They support mass murder. They support the destruction of this country."

"The guy's a war hero. He's not a coward like George Bush. He didn't duck into a Champagne unit in the Texas Air National Guard and disappear like George Bush."

"Bush gets appointed to the presidency, and he gives Ashcroft the job of Attorney General? A religiously insane, jack-booted thug? ... The people who knew him best: The people in the state where he had been Attorney General, where he had been Governor, where he had been Senator, they knew him best. They said "No, it's time to get rid of this moron. Because he's REALLY gone over the edge!" So they voted for Mel Carnahan, who happened to be killed in a plane crash before the election - and the voters knew that! Did that make them say "Uh, I guess we can't vote for a dead man..." NO! They voted for the dead man! The voters in Missouri are saying "we'd rather have a dead man as our representative in the United States Senate, than him!" And Kathy, don't you dare play any of his records! I don't want to hear "Soar like an eagle, I'll soar like..." - don't do it! I'll walk off the program today if you play that."

"What about the people that couldn't get out?! Someday it's gonna happen to you, Chertoff! ... You won't have a car, and you won't have a government airplane, and you won't have a cell phone, and you won't have a weapon! ... Blaming the victim... You filthy pig! You filthy, good-for-nothing Bush Crime Family member! ... Oh, these people just make me furious! (reacting to Michael Chertoff talking about people that couldn't leave New Orleans before Hurricane Katrina.)"

"This Democratic whore, Bill Clinton - all of a sudden, I can't stand him anymore. To me, he is as corrupt and degenerate as the Bushes. He has become almost like an associate of the Bush Crime Family. ... I've had enough of this son of a bitch. I've had enough of him, and his crazy-ass wife. I've had enough, OK? The Clintons can go straight to Hell, along with the Bushes. I've had enough of Bill Clinton; I've had it with this guy. ... I'll say it again: Why isn't Clinton grabbing them by their neckties and shaking them until both these old bastards’ teeth rattle out of their mouths, about why they have destroyed the United States? But that's not Clinton. (on Clinton working with George Bush Sr. and George W Bush following Hurricane Katrina.)"

"We are a violent society. Our foreign policy is based on violence. Barack Obama is out there, being this charming, incredibly warm human being, and you know as well as I do, that he represents a nation whose primary directive is kill. Kill, loot, pillage, take. You don't believe that? Then let me ask you something. Does Cuba have a military presence in 140 countries? No. Does Russia? No. Does China? No. Does-- go ahead, pick one! Go ahead! There's one country on earth that has a military presence in 140 countries. And it's us. And why do we have it there? Why do we have them there? This is a violent society!"

"You know, I talk about doing acid 30 years ago. Rumsfeld must do it daily. Right before he goes out for a press conference: "Oh, hi... I notice the doorknobs are all crawling around the ceiling. Hello! Oh, there's CNN. Oh gee! Look at the big eye on that camera! Oh, God, get it away from me! And the teeth!" ... You think I'm kidding about this guy does acid? And he does the bad stuff. The brown acid. ... Where did this guy come from? What pit of Hell coughed this thug up?! ... Rummy comes out, all acid-headed up, just stoned on his ass - just completely freaked out. "Well, people are waving things at me, coming down the hall... And I don't know, there's stuff JUMPING OUT OF DOORS! ... GIMME SOME NUCLEAR WEAPONS!""

""It's not the position of this program, or me, or [wife/program producer] Kathy [Bay], or anybody associated with this program to try to educate anybody about anything. You take from this program what you want; if you think I'm a wacko left-wing communist nutcase - fine! Run with it...jerk! If you think it's a fun program, go with that. If you get something - a link - go with that."

"How do you stand this? I don't care who you are; man, woman, gay, straight, black, white, Jew, gentile, it doesn't make any difference - how do you stand this? I can't. I can not...I can't handle this- You wanna know how I deal with this? When I finish these topics, or these letters, or these diaries, or these reports, and the show's over, I have to blank my mind - literally. Can you do that? I can, I have learned how to do that. I blank it out. I don't know where Israel is, I don't know what Palestinian means, I don't know what burned and mutilated children have to do with anything - it means nothing, it goes away. I must draw a dark black curtain in my consciousness. I can not deal with this, how do you? I have children, I've had children, I have grand-children, I have a four-and-a-half year-old... This is not right! This is not right... [Mike cuts feed to music early]"

"They were fascinated with Clinton's penis, and they never got a chance to see it, which is all they wanted. They wanted Clinton to have to disrobe in a court of law during the deposition that he had to give for the Paula Jones case. They didn't get a chance to see his penis. All Republican men are hooked on Viagra. ... Levitra, Cialis. These are what Republican men need in order to get an erection. And it's because they never got a chance to see Clinton's penis. Now they have transferred that to Hillary [Clinton]'s vagina. They are desperate to see Hillary's vagina. They must...they are fascinated with Hillary as a bitch goddess of some sort, and they want to worship at the vagina. They are sick, sick people... What would happen if Hillary died tomorrow? They would construct a Hillary Clinton vagina at which they would worship. Now, they hate the vagina as well as worshiping at it... They are sick. I've never seen a group of people more sick, in this country, than Republican men. They are sick beyond belief. But they are hung up on genitalia. First it was Clinton's penis, now it's Hillary's vagina. This is where they will always remain."

"The man is a complete wackadoo, but so is every great actor who ever lived. You gotta separate the artist from his/her art, or you won't be able to enjoy anything."

"It's about how boys become men — and why it takes women to make that transformation possible."

"When I was in college, I was belittling the woman who later become my wife for not knowing who Boba Fett was, and she responded by asking me if I knew who the Prime Minister of Israel was. Surprisingly? Not Mon Mothma."

""Writer's block" is just another word for video games. If you want to be a writer, get writing, you lazy bastards."

"I, for example, am a pompous asshole, but my comics are genius!"

"But Cruise is really good!"

"Your own creations are your own children; you gave life to them, so you’ll always have, if not more passion to them, more connections to them."

"I think it was born out of that grade school fantasy that a lot of nerds like me had, which was "I could probably get the cute red-headed girl that sits across from me, if only every other boy in the entire school dies.""

"Comics are essentially films with fewer frames per second."

"Not a word of my writing has ever been changed by another person's hands, and I don't think many screenwriters can say that."

"It's TV shows like BUFFY and ANGEL that usually have an incredible cliffhanger every commercial break that amaze me."

"I just make crap up more than anything else."

"If a good editor will let me tell my story with the right artist, I'm happy."

"I'm the one who started spreading that particular factoid, about Bendis, Azz and me all being bald Brian's from Cleveland, just to get my name mentioned in the same sentence as two much-better writers, and it's worked like a goddamn charm. Next up, I'm going to grow a big, disgusting beard, just so people will start talking about Alan Moore and me in the same breath."

"I've always thought of fantasy as a genre of best-case scenarios, and horror as a genre of worst-case scenarios."

"I really like Colossus, actually, especially because only Ultimate writers get to use him. Eat it, Whedon!"

"Why is the human skull as dense as it is? Nowadays we can send a message around the world in one-seventh of a second, but it takes years to drive an idea through a quarter-inch of human skull."

"You are always too late with a development if you are so slow that people demand it before you yourself recognize it. The research department should have foreseen what was necessary and had it ready to a point where people never knew they wanted it until it was made available to them."

"Logic is a way of going wrong systematically."

"The key to economic prosperity is the organized creation of dissatisfaction."

"A problem thoroughly understood is always fairly simple. Found your opinions on facts, not prejudices. We know too many things that are not true."

"The whole fun of living is trying to make something better."

"You know, you read about the future. You can't help that. I don't look upon the future. I am not a politician. I am not worried about the future at all. I don't like to run it down. I don't like to think of it being too dark because I expect to spend all the rest of my life there and I don't want to have a nasty end to it."

"We find that in research a certain amount of intelligent ignorance is essential to progress; for, if you know too much, you won't try the thing."

"We think we are smart because we have been flying for about sixty years. Birds and bees and butterflies have been flying for hundreds of thousands of years."

"There are two kinds of courage. One is a spontaneous explosion of aroused instincts to meet some sudden emergency; the other is steadfast and enduring against repeated failures and rebuffs. It's what boxers call 'the fighting heart,' the will to come bouncing back every time one is knocked down. All pioneers need that kind of courage, and our youngsters will need plenty of it when they plunge into the world of tomorrow.""

"The Wright brothers flew right through the smoke screen of impossibility."

"We may be through with the past, but the past is not through with us."

"Freedom of speech and freedom of action are meaningless without freedom to think. And there is no freedom of thought without doubt."

"[Thanatopsis] was written in 1817, when Bryant was 23. Had he died then, the world would have thought it had lost a great poet. But he lived on."

"Brothers, the white men are not friends to the Indians: at first, they only asked for land sufficient for a wigwam; now, nothing will satisfy them but the whole of our hunting grounds, from the rising to the setting sun. Brothers, the white men want more than our hunting grounds; they wish to kill our old men, women, and little ones. Brothers, many winters ago there was no land; the sun did not rise and set; all was darkness."

"Brothers, when the white men first set foot on our grounds, they were hungry; they had no place on which to spread their blankets, or to kindle their fires. They were feeble; they could do nothing for themselves. Our fathers commiserated their distress, and shared freely with them whatever the Great Spirit had given his red children. They gave them food when hungry, medicine when sick, spread skins for them to sleep on, and gave them grounds, that they might hunt and raise corn. Brothers, the white people are like poisonous serpents: when chilled, they are feeble and harmless; but invigorate them with warmth, and they sting their benefactors to death. The white people came among us feeble; and now that we have made them strong, they wish to kill us, or drive us back, as they would wolves and panthers."

"Brothers, we all belong to one family; we are all children of the Great Spirit; we walk in the same path; slake our thirst at the same spring; and now affairs of the greatest concern lead us to smoke the pipe around the same council fire! Brothers, we are friends; we must assist each other to bear our burdens. The blood of many of our fathers and brothers has run like water on the ground, to satisfy the avarice of the white men."

"The white people have no right to take the land from the Indians, because they had it first; it is theirs. They may sell, but all must join. Any sale not made by all is not valid. The late sale is bad. It was made by a part only. Part do not know how to sell. It requires all to make a bargain for all. All red men have equal rights to the unoccupied land. The right of occupancy is as good in one place as in another. There can not be two occupations in the same place. The first excludes all others. It is not so in hunting or traveling; for there the same ground will serve many, as they may follow each other all day; but the camp is stationary, and that is occupancy. It belongs to the first who sits down on his blanket or skins which he has thrown upon the ground; and till he leaves it no other has a right."

"The being within, communing with past ages, tells me that once, nor until lately, there was no white man on this continent; that it then all belonged to red men, children of the same parents, placed on it by the Great Spirit that made them, to keep it, to traverse it, to enjoy its productions, and to fill it with the same race, once a happy race, since made miserable by the white people who are never contented but always encroaching. The way, and the only way, to check and to stop this evil, is for all the red men to unite in claiming a common and equal right in the land, as it was at first, and should be yet; for it never was divided, but belongs to all for the use of each. For no part has a right to sell, even to each other, much less to strangers — those who want all, and will not do with less."

"It is true I am a Shawnee. My forefathers were warriors. Their son is a warrior. From them I take only my existence; from my tribe I take nothing. I am the maker of my own fortune; and oh! that I could make that of my red people, and of my country, as great as the conceptions of my mind, when I think of the Spirit that rules the universe. I would not then come to Governor Harrison to ask him to tear the treaty and to obliterate the landmark; but I would say to him: "Sir, you have liberty to return to your own country.""