People From Melbourne

"There is no more terrible fate for a comedian than to be taken seriously."

"He would have been a handful in any society. He is a misfit and fully conscious of it. The punctilio of his old-world manners, the dandified scrupulosity of his Savile Row suits, are compelled by an unsleeping awareness that he has no more business among ordinary human beings than a Venusian."

"Although there were many who did the dirty on him in the envious world of letters, Stephen* never let any of them live rent-free in his brain."

"Who can I trust?" Arthur blurted out. "Those who wish you well," said the Old One. "Not those who wish to use you well. Be a player, not a pawn. And that is three questions and all your time."

"If you like what you are writing, just write. Try to keep going before you stop to take a break. Keep going back before too much time has passed. And just stay with it."

"Teachers are very undervalued for what they do."

"Oh, to be a minion," muttered Giac to himself dreamily. "I was a sub-minion."

""Come on, then, Giac," said Suzy. "Last one to the top is a rotten sorceror." She started off at a run, but paused after a few steps when Giac didn't immediately follow. He was looking puzzled. "Come on!" "But I already am a rotten sorceror," he said."

""You mean he's dead too?" asked Suzy. "Yes," said Dusk. "This morning, in his cell. The guards outside were also slain, and only Sir Thursday's boots remained." "Sounds more like he escaped," Suzy said. "His feet were still in the boots," said Dusk."

"I don't... I don't care," he said softly to his reflection. "I have a job to do. It doesn't matter what I have become. It doesn't matter what I look like."

""Thank you for splitting. I guess we'd all better get on with it." "Indeed," said Dame Quarto. "We had," added Dame Septum. She raised her hand and dramatically announced, "I shall attend to the Middle House!" "And I to the mountains!" declared Dame Quarto, and both strode from the room. "And I to... sorting our Superior Saturday," said Arthur. Somehow it didn't sound the same."

"General Turquoise Blue?" asked Arthur. "I didn't make Suzy a general, did I? I remember her talking about it, but I don't remember actually..." "She probably just put on the uniform," said Dr Scamandros. "No one would question her."

"Do you promise you won't hurt me?" asked Arthur. "You will be safe from all harm for the space of a quarter hour, as measured by this clock," replied the Old One. "You are mortal enough that I would not slay you like a wandering cockroach, or a Denizen of the House." "Thanks," said Arthur. "I think."

"They could have attacked us straight away. And Fred wanted to be one, so they can't be all bad." "I wanted to be a Nithling with three heads once, so that's no guarantee," whispered Suzy as she lay down and raised her arms and feet. "What's more, after a washing between the ears I thought it was possible."

""You're really, truly not going to kill everyone?" asked Marek. "No!" shouted Arthur. "Why do you keep asking? Do I look like some kind of crazy murderer?" "No..." Marek sounded as if he did still think that but didn't want to upset Arthur."

""Am I correct in assuming that I address Lord Arthur?" "Yes, I'm Arthur." Emelena mumbled something that Arthur correctly thought was about expecting him to be taller, more impressive, have lightning bolts coming out of his eyes, and so on."

""No!" shouted Arthur. "What's wrong with you? They're people! You can't just kill hundreds or thousands of Piper's children because the Piper might... just might... make some of them do something!" "Can't we?" asked Dame Primus. She sounded genuinely puzzled."

"You are a weak reed, Recruit Green!" Helve shouted. "Weak reeds make for badly woven baskets! This platoon will not be a badly woven basket!"

"All of us recruits are equal in the eyes of the Army: low as you can go."

"Lieutenant Crosshaw says you are a special case!" bellowed Helve. "I do not like special cases! Special cases do not make good soldiers! Special cases do not help other recruits become good soldiers! Therefore, you will not be a special case! You understand me!" "I think so-" "Shut up! That was not a question!"

""What do we do if we don't go through a hole?" asked Suzy. "I think we get smashed to bits," said Arthur. "But like Longtayle said, it's mostly holes. And the current must aim for the holes, or get directed through them. We'll be all right." "What happens if we don't get smashed completely to bits, but just a bit smashed to bits?" asked Suzy after a while. "I mean, so we're still alive but drowning?" "Suzy, please don't ask me these questions right now," said Arthur, with as much restraint as he could manage."

""Lord Arthur, may I present Lady Wednesday's Dawn?" Arthur bowed. He had already half-guessed the identity of their surprise guest. She had the hauteur that all the chief servants of the Trustees possessed. A kind of look that said, I am superior and you had better admit it."

"Flotsam floats when all is sunk. Jetsam thrown isn't just junk. Coughs and colds and bright red sores Waiting for us, so bend yer oars!"

""I don't want to make a mistake," said the Will softly. "Better not to make a decision than to make a mistake." "The whole House is going to fall down if you don't make a decision!" Arthur argued."

""Come on! You too, Will." "If you must call me anything, you may address me as Most Excellent Testamentary Clause," said the sun bear. "Claws?" said Suzy, as she tilted the chair to speed the bear on its way. "Orright, Claws, hop to it." "No, no, no," protested the sun bear. "Most Excellent-" "Claws it is," said Suzy loudly. "After you, Claws." "I said... oh... just don't speak to me," huffed the Will as it waddled after Arthur."

"What happened?" Arthur asked. He caught a glimpse of something below, but couldn't quite make out what it was. "The Nithling-" "Missed me," called out Suzy. "Close-run thing. Bit off my right clog. I was kicking it in the teeth, so I s'pose that's fair."

"Double, treble, quadruple bubble, watch the stock market get into trouble..."

""Summon him forth," instructed the Will. "Let justice be meted out. There is much to do, you know, Arthur." "You'd think we could 'ave a cup of tea and biscuit first," muttered Suzy."

"Noon sits at the Master's right hand, Dawn at his left. Dusk stands behind, in the shadows. Yet sometimes it is easier to see the light when you stand partly in the darkness."

"You're sure that we'll find someone suitable here?" "Sure as eggs is eggs," replied Sneezer. "Surer even, eggs not always being what one might expect."

"She got up, grew her legs longer to get her body out of the water and shook herself dry. Then she wandered off, following a zigzag path along the border between Life and Death, her tail wagging so hard, the tip of it beat the river into a froth behind her."

"For everyone and everything, there is a time to die. Some do not know it, or would delay it, but its truth cannot be denied. Not when you look into the stars of the Ninth Gate."

"Yeerch. Soap. See how much I love you?"

"Time and death sleep side by side," said the Dog. "Both are in Astrael's Domain."

"Yet when ancient forces stir, many things are woken."

"The Clayr Saw a sword and so I was. Remember the Wallmakers. Remember Me."

"Wake me when what terrible thing is going to happen, happens, or if it appears I might get wet."

"I’ll sing you a song of the long ago - Seven shine the shiners, oh! What did the Seven do way back when? Why, they wove the Charter then! Five for the warp, from beginning to end. Two for the woof, to make and mend. That’s the Seven, but what of the Nine- What of the two who chose not to shine? The Eighth did hide, hide all away, But the Seven caught him and made him pay. The Ninth was strong and fought with might, But lone Orannis was put out of the light, Broken in two and buried under hill, Forever to lie there, wishing us ill."

""Choosers will be beggars if the begging’s not their choosing," said the Dog."

"Sam swallowed. The dire pronouncement echoed in his ears, imbued with the faint hint of the Free Magic power that was contained within the cat form on his shoulder. He slapped Sprout on the rump to get her going; then he said the first thing that came into his head. "Mogget. Shut up.""

"When the Dead do walk, seek water’s run, For this the Dead will always shun. Swift river’s best or broadest lake To ward the Dead and haven make. If water fails thee, fire’s thy friend; If neither guards, it will be thy end."

"So are you saying that somebody went to all the trouble to make you a crypt a thousand years ago on the off chance that you might turn up one day, walk in, and have a convenient heart attack?"

"I am the Disreputable Dog. Or Disreputable Bitch, if you want to get technical. When are we going for a walk?"

"No mother, no father, no Sight."

"“Toys, Abhorsen. And too late. Much too late.” It was not just words he spoke, but power, Free Magic power that froze Sabriel’s nerves, caught at her muscles. Desperately, she struggled to ring the bells, but her wrists were locked in place… Tantalizingly slowly, Kerrigor glided forward, till he was a mere arm’s length away. Towering over her like some colossal statue of rough-hewn night, his breath rolling down on her with the stench of a thousand abattoirs. Someone – a girl quietly coughing out her last breath on the floor – touched Sabriel’s ankle with a light caress. A small spark of golden Charter Magic came from that dying touch, slowly swelling into Sabriel’s veins, traveling upwards, warming joints, freeing muscles. At last it reached her wrists and hands–and the bells rang out. It was not the clear, true sound it should be, for somehow the bulk of Kerrigor took the sound in and warped it– but it had an effect. Kerrigor slid back, and was diminished, till he was a little more than twice Sabriel’s height. But he was not subject to Sabriel’s will. Saraneth had not bound him, and Kibeth had only forced him back. Sabriel rang the bells again, concentrating on the difficult counterpoint between them, forcing all her will into their magic. Kerrigor would fall under her domination, he would walk where she willed…"

"I think I might love you too, Charter help me, but now is-"

"Five Great Charters knit the land together linked hand and hand. One in the people who wear the crown Two in the folk who keep the Dead down Three and Five became stone and mortar Four sees all in frozen water."

"A year ago, I turned the final page of The Book of the Dead. I don't feel young any more."

"I am a necromancer, but not of the common sort, while others of the art raise the dead, I lay them to rest - or try too - and those that will not rest I bind, for I am Abhorsen..." He turned to the baby again and added, almost with a note of surprise, "Father of Sabriel."

"Does the walker choose the path, or the path the walker?"