"Get your rest, gentlemen. The boat will be ready for you on Friday. If I see you or any of your friends before then, Miss Finneran will find herself the victim of a most gruesome violation before she dies. As will your father, Mr. Hockney. And your Uncle Randall in Arizona, Mr. Kint. I might only castrate Mr. McManus's nephew, David. Do I make myself clear?"

"One cannot be betrayed if one has no people."

"Old McDonald had a farm, ee-eye-ee-eye-oh/And on that farm he shot some guys... Bada bing, bada bing bang boom."

"[counting off the men he is about to shoot] One, two, three, four, five... Oswald was a fag."

"I'm the guy that's gonna get you. I just wanted you to know that."

"A rumor's not a rumor that doesn't die."

"You get NO immunity from me, you piece of shit! Every criminal I've put in prison, every cop that owes me a favor, every creep and scumbag that walks the streets for a living will know the name of Verbal Kint. Now you talk to me, or that precious immunity they seem so fit to grant you won't be worth the paper the contract put out on your life is printed on!"

"I'm smarter than you, and I'm going to find out what I want to know, and I'm going to get it from you whether you like it or not."

"Convince me, and tell me every last detail."

"First day on the job, you know what I learned? How to spot a murderer."

"How do you shoot the Devil in the back? What if you miss?"

"And like that... poof... he's gone."

"Keaton always said, "I don't believe in God, but I'm afraid of him." Well, I believe in God...and the only thing that scares me is Keyser Söze."

"What about it, Agent Kujan? If I told you the Loch Ness Monster blew up that boat, what would you say?"

"To a cop, the explanation is never that complicated. It's always simple. There's no mystery to the street, no arch criminal behind it all. If you got a dead body and you think his brother did it, you're gonna find out you're right."

"The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist."

"Back when I was picking beans in Guatemala, we used to make fresh coffee, right off the trees I mean. That was good. This is shit, but hey, I'm in a police station..."

"What the cops never figured out, and what I know now, was that these men would never break, never lie down, never bend over for anybody. Anybody."

"Oh you English are SO superior aren't you? Well, would you like to know where you'd be without US the good old U.S. of A. to protect you? I'll tell you. The smallest fucking province in the Russian Empire, that's where! So DON'T call me stupid, lady. Just THANK me! ...If it wasn't for us, you'd all be speaking German, singing, "Deutschland, Deutschland über alles!""

"Maria Aitken - Wendy"

"Michael Palin - Ken Pile"

"Kevin Kline - Otto"

"Jamie Lee Curtis - Wanda Gershwitz"

"John Cleese - Archie Leach"

"[to Otto] I knew you'd come along and fuck it up! I was dealing with something delicate. I'm setting up a guy who's important to us, who'll tell me where the loot is and if you'll be arrested, and you come loping in like Rambo without a jock strap and you dangle him out a fifth-floor window! Now, was that smart? Was it shrewd? Was it good tactics? Or was it stupid?"

"[to Otto] Even if you were my brother, I'd still want to fuck you."

"[to Otto] To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people. I've known sheep that could outwit you. I've worn dresses with higher IQs!"

"Oh look, it's K-K-Ken! C-C-Coming to k-k-kill me! How you gonna c-c-catch me, K-K-Ken?"

"Tom Georgeson - Georges Thomason"

"[repeated] Don't call me stupid."

"You English! You think you're so superior, don't you? Well you're the filth of the planet! A bunch of pompous, badly dressed, poverty stricken, sexually repressed football hooligans!"

"[On finding George has moved the jewels, forestalling his and Wanda's attempted double-cross] Okay...Okay... DISAPPOINTED!!! Son of a bitch! What do you have to do in this life to make people trust you?!?!...People are always takin' advantage of me."

"Matt Damon - Linus Caldwell"

"George Clooney - Danny Ocean"

"Scott Caan - Turk Malloy"

"Casey Affleck - Virgil Malloy"

"You do the math."

"They're having so much fun, it should be illegal."

"Place your bets."

"3 Casinos. 11 Guys. 150 Million Bucks. Ready To Win Big?"

"Are you in or out?"

"Window or aisle, boys? Yeah, we're in deep shit!"

"[scolding Linus for leaving the van when he was instructed to stay] You stupid bastard!"

"A pinch is a device which creates, like, a cardiac arrest for any broadband electrical circuitry. Better yet a pinch is a bomb - now, but without the bomb. See, when a nuclear weapon detonates, it unleashes an electromagnetic pulse which shuts down any power source within its blast radius. Now that tends not to matter in most cases, because the nuclear weapon usually destroys anything you might need power for anyway. But a pinch creates a similar electromagnetic pulse, but without the fuss of mass destruction and death. So instead of Hiroshima, you'd be getting the 17th Century."

"[With another crew, attempts to rob a vault. As he steps inside, the alarm goes off] Oh, leave it out! You tossers! You had one job to do!!"

"[Exposing Frank's criminal past to Benedict while pretending to be from the Nevada Gaming Commission] Apparently, he's got a record longer than my... well, it's long."

"You guys are pros. The best. I'm sure you can make it out of the casino. Of course, lest we forget, once you're out the front door, you're still in the middle of the fucking desert!"

"[After Danny and his crew shows up at his door] Did you guys get a group rate or something?"

"[Greeting everyone for the first time] Good evening. Welcome. Everybody full? Looks like it. Everybody sober? Close enough. Let me just start by saying that nobody's on the line just yet, but what I'm about to show you is risky and extremely dangerous. If that doesn't sound like your particular brand of vodka, help yourself to as much food as you'd like, have a safe journey, no hard feelings. Otherwise, come with me."