"Miles Jupp: "Would you dance if I asked you to dance? Would you run and never look back? Would you cry if you saw me crying? Would you save my soul tonight...?""

"Miles Jupp: "Love and marriage, love and marriage, go together like horse and carriage, this I tell you, brother...""

"Marcus Brigstocke: "Are you ready? Are you ready? Are you ready? Are you ready...?""

"Harry Enfield: "It's a little bit funny...""

"Harry Enfield: "It won't be easy, you'll think it strange...""

"Harry Enfield: "Nothing you can do 'cos I'm stuck like glue to my guy...""

"Barry Cryer: "I'll just have a nibble.""

"Graeme Garden: "It's a trick I learned from Delia...""

"Jeremy Hardy: "You've got to beat it until it's different, but whip lightly or it'll go everywhere!""

"Tim Brooke-Taylor: "That's just for starters...""

"Graeme Garden: "It pops up when it's ready.""

"Jeremy Hardy: "Blimey, what's this attachment for?""

"Susan Calman: "Thank you for coming.""

"Tim Brooke-Taylor: "For what we are about to receive, may the Lord make us truly thankful!""

"Rob Brydon: "I'll get the butter and you spread.""

"Susan Calman: "Oh your dad would've loved this.""

"Susan Calman: "D'you know, it hasn't risen as much as I would've liked.""

"Richard Osman: "I just thought that if you liked it, we could have the same thing with the Wilsons next week.""

"Richard Osman: "If it doesn't come within 20 minutes, you get a free garlic bread.""

"Tim Brooke-Taylor: "That took me ages, you could pretend to like it!""

"Rob Brydon: "Oh bugger, the skin's come off!""

"Susan Calman: "TA-DAAH!""

"Tim Brooke-Taylor: "Do you think you should be videoing this?""

"Pippa Evans: "Well, that was upsetting.""

"Gary Delaney: "Timperley for the Devil""

"Pippa Evans: "Your dad's probably looking down on us right now.""

"Tim Brooke-Taylor: "Your brother would've enjoyed this.""

"Stephen Fry: "Four men from the Regiment are going to shoot over him as he goes down.""

"Rachel Parris: "It's not what I would choose, but it was what he wanted.""

"Rev. Richard Coles: "Is the livestream working?""

"Alexander Armstrong: "Things just won't be the same without your nan.""

"Rachel Parris: "It was all very sudden.""

"Tony Hawks: "So what are we gonna do with the dog?""

"Rev. Richard Coles: "Would you like a slow peal, vicar?""

"Alexander Armstrong: "Well you can imagine my surprise when I discovered she was alive!""

"Rory Bremner: "God knows how many people have touched those nuts.""

"Marcus Brigstocke: "Well I don't know about you, but I could do with a stiff one.""

"Rory Bremner: "Have you changed hands?""

"Pippa Evans: "I can pull that for you.""

"Marcus Brigstocke: "Bottoms up!""

"Rory Bremner: "Under Cheshire""

"Jon Culshaw: "Once more unto the breach, dear friends...""

"Vicki Pepperdine: "What a pity Benedict Cumberbatch had to pull out!""

"Milton Jones: "Oh, look over there. There are your parents waving.""

"Milton Jones: "I hear the Duke of York's is going to be out of action for a long time...""

"Tony Hawks: "Wakefield - Because you came off at the wrong exit on the motorway.""