"Bill Cosby: Ohh. (pauses) Albert Robertson... is... Doris Robertson's grandfather. He died some time ago. I designed your character after Albert Robertson. And you heard her spirit, and you crawled through the set?"

"Fat Albert: I... I guess so."

"Bill Cosby: WELL! That's just fine, son! All you have to do is you just crawl back into the set, we're ready to go--"

"Fat Albert: Oh, no. I don't wanna go back into the set--"

"Bill Cosby: Hey, hey, hey."

"Fat Albert: Yeah. Hey, hey, hey."

"Bill Cosby: That's the--"

"Fat Albert: I wanna stay."

"Bill Cosby: Oh, ho-ho-ho. You know you can't do that. See, you're a cartoon. You're a cartoon, and you have your fellas waiting for you to do more stories. Your fans are waiting to see you on TV so you can solve problems."

"Bill Cosby: What do you mean, you don't want to back?"

"Fat Albert: No, I wanna stay here."

"Bill Cosby: You can't--"

"Fat Albert: The real world."

"Bill Cosby: You can't stay out here. (demonstrates) You stay out here, you're gonna turn into celluloid dust."

"Kenan Thompson as Fat Albert"

"Kyla Pratt as Doris"

"Bill Cosby as Himself"

"Dania Ramirez as Lauri"

"Shedrack Anderson III as Rudy"

"Omarion as Reggie, the film's antagonist"

"Keith Robinson as Bill"

"Marques Houston as Dumb Donald"

"Jermaine Williams as Mushmouth"

"Aaron Frazier as Old Weird Harold"

"Alphonso McAuley as Bucky"

"Jeremy Suarez as the voice of Russell"

"Alice Greczyn as Becky"

"Raven-Symoné as the voice of Danielle"

"Aaron Carter as Darren (credited as "Kid")"

"Joel Madden as Dude with Mohawk"

"Fonzworth Bentley as Salesman"

"Jeff Garlin as Jerry (uncredited)"

"There is no head to cut off. It's a conglomerate. If one of them betrays the principles of the accrual of money and power, the others betray him. What it is is human weakness. You can't kill that with a gun."

"Logan - Bob Lee Swagger's Dog"

"Dean McKenzie - Archbishop"

"- Lead Mercenary"

"- Mr. Rate"

"- Attorney General Russert"

"Alan C. Peterson - Officer Stanley Timmons"

"- Lance Corporal Donnie Fenn"

"- Mikhaylo Sczerbiak"

"- Russ Turner"

"- Special Agent Howard Purnell"