"So that's why she went with Dusty. She wants a sensitive guy... more like the old me. Well, if she wants Mr. Rogers, then I'm going to show her the biggest pussy she's ever seen."

"JJ Elliott - Movie Goer"

"Tina Cerato - Movie Goer"

"Trenna Keating - Nancy"

"Ashley Scott - Janice"

"Maria Arcé - Athena"

"Ty Olsson - Tim"

"Barry Flatman - Mr. Palamino"

"Amy Matysio - Darla"

"Todd Lewis - Kyle"

"Christopher Marquette - Mike Brander"

"Julie Hagerty - Carol Brander"

"Chris Klein - Dusty Lee Dinkleman"

"Amy Smart - Jamie Palamino"

"Anna Faris - Samantha James"

"Stephen Root - KC"

"Two Words A Guy Never Wants To Hear"

"He loves her. She loves him not."

"[singing and playing guitar] Forgiveness, is more than saying sorry. To forgive is divine. So let's have a glass of wine. And have make-up sex until the end of time, time, time, time, timmmmmmeee! Time."

"Ryan Reynolds - Chris Brander"

"Fred Ewanuick - Clark"

"Judah Friedlander - Scott Brumberg"

"Ernest Miller - Bob/"The Ayatollah""

"Todd Barry - Wayne"

"Marisa Tomei - Pam/Cassidy"

"Ron Killings - Ron "The Truth" Killings"

"Evan Rachel Wood - Stephanie"

"I just want to tell you, I'm the one who was supposed to take care of everything. I'm the one who was supposed to make everything okay for everybody. It just didn't work out like that. And I left. I left you. You never did anything wrong. I used to try to forget about you. I used to try to pretend that you didn't exist, but I can't. You're my girl. You're my little girl. And now, I'm an old broken down piece of meat... and I'm alone. And I deserve to be all alone. I just don't want you to hate me."

"The only place I get hurt is out there. [points away from the ring] The world don't give a shit about me."

"I just wanna say to you all tonight, I'm very grateful to be here. A lot of people told me that I'd never wrestle again. And that's all I do. You know, if you live hard and you play hard, and you burn the candle at both ends, you pay the price for it. You know, in this life you can lose everything that you love, everything that loves you. Now, I don't hear as good as I used to, and I forget stuff, and I ain't as pretty as I used to be. But god-damn it, I'm still standing here and I'm The Ram. [applause] As time goes by, as time goes by, they say: 'He's washed up. He's finished. He's a loser. He's all through.' But you know what? The only ones who are gonna tell me when I'm through doing my thing is you people here! [applause] You people here, you people here are the ones who are worth bringing it for, because you're my family. I love all of you. Thank you so much."

"Dylan Summers - Necro Butcher"

"Mickey Rourke - Robin Ramzinski/Randy "The Ram" Robinson"

"[describing the deli counter] It's an endless parade of horny housewives begging for your man meat."

"Mark Margolis - Lenny"

"Craig Hill - Tom"

"Norman Ollestad - Frank Gilbreth Jr."

"Evelyn Varden - School Principal"

"Barbara Bates - Ernestine Gilbreth"

"Mildred Natwick - Mrs. Mebane"

"Sara Allgood - Mrs. Monahan"

"Edgar Buchanan - Dr. Burton"

"Jimmy Hunt - William Gilbreth"

"Carol Nugent - Lillie Gilbreth"

"Jeanne Crain - Ann Gilbreth"

"Myrna Loy - Mrs. Lillian Gilbreth"

"No person with inner dignity is ever embarrassed."