"[Describing his plans for dealing with the Amigos] Tomorrow I will take fifty men with me, find these three gringos, open their stomachs, grab their intestines, and squeeze the shit out of them!"

"I know each one of you, like I know my own smell!"

"Do you have anything besides Mexican food?"

"One time, Dorothy Gish was visiting me on the set of "Little Neddy, Grab Your Gun". And she came up to me and she looked me in the face and - I'd never met her, I'd just known her on films, you know, Dorothy Gish, Lillian's sister - and she looked me in the eyes and she said, "Young man, you have got it." And. Ah! Dorothy Gish. It's a true story."

"In a way, all of us has an El Guapo to face. For some, shyness might be their El Guapo. For others, a lack of education might be their El Guapo. For us, El Guapo is a big, dangerous man who wants to kill us. But as sure as my name is Lucky Day, the people of Santa Poco can conquer their own personal El Guapo, who also happens to be the actual El Guapo!"

"Well you slime eating dogs, you scum-sucking pigs, you sons of a motherless goat!"

"You were supposed to fire up! We both fired UP! It's like living with a six-year-old."

"Oh GREAT!!! REAL bullets!!!"

"Uh, this is real... Yes: They. are going. to KILL us!"

"Mount up! ... It means get on your horses."

"[To summon the invisible swordsman] Farley Farley Farley Farley Farley, Hufaaaaarrr!"

"Fella I once knew in El Paso, one day he took all his clothes off and jumped in a mess of cactus. I asked him the same question, why? He said it seemed to be a good idea at the time."

"Tomás: Only the dead are without fear."

"Sotero: Neighbors, I drink to our friends. They armed us, fought at our side, and will forever live in our hearts."

"Hilario: We will fight with guns if we have them. If we don't... with machetes, axes, clubs, anything!"

"Undertaker: I've always treated every man the same – just as another future customer."

"See? I told you! You see your fathers?"

"Don't you ever say that again about your fathers, because they are not cowards! You think I'm brave because I carry a gun? Well, your fathers are much braver, because they carry responsibility! For you, your brothers, your sisters, and your mothers. And this responsibility is like a big rock that weighs a ton. It bends, and it twists them until finally, it buries them under the ground. And there's nobody who says they have to do this--they do it because they love you, and because they want to! I have never had this kind of courage. Running a farm, working like a mule every day with no guarantee what will ever come of it... This is bravery! That's why I never even started anything like that. That's why I never will."

"Yeah, I'm one of us, all right."

"If you can't forget about him, why don't you ride sidesaddle?"

"I admire your notion of fair odds, mister."

"[chopping firewood] I'm doing this because I'm an eccentric millionaire."

"One. There was a time when I would have caught all three. (after snatching at 3 flies on a table.)"

"Yes. The final supreme idiocy... coming here to hide. The deserter, hiding out in the middle of a battlefield."

"Till you lose your nerve. You can feel it. Then you wait... for the bullet in the gun that is faster than you are"

"The lies you tell yourself. No enemies... alive. I have lost count of my enemies."

"I have the most stylish corner of the filthy storeroom out back. That, and one plate of beans. Ten dollars a day."

"Nobody throws me my own guns and says run. Nobody."

"[after being congratulated shooting a mounted bandit] I was aiming for the horse."

"I changed my mind."

"Hold on Chris, I'll get you out of there!"

"You're crazy, all of you! They won't lift a finger to help. Think of the odds!"

"There comes a time to turn Mother's picture to the wall and get out!"

"We come cheaper by the bunch."

"Yeah, that's exactly what I mean! Aztec treasure!"

"Well, I'll be damned."

"Chris, I'd hate to die a sucker. We didn't come out here just to keep an eye on a lot of corn and chili peppers. There was something else all the time, wasn't there?"

"A dollar bill always looks as big to me as a bedspread."

"All that's what's on top. What's underneath?"

"The fighting is over. Your work is done. For them, each season has its tasks. If there were a season for gratitude, they'd show it more."

"Don't worry. Why would he kill me? Bullets cost money."

"At my age, a little excitement is welcome."

"They are farmers. They talk of nothing but fertilizer and women. I have never shared their enthusiasm for fertilizer. As for women, I became indifferent when I was eighty-three."

"You must excuse them. They are farmers here. They are afraid of everyone and everything. They are afraid of rain, and no rain. The summer may be too hot, or the winter too cold. If the sow has no pigs, the farmer is afraid he may starve. If she has too many pigs, he is afraid she may starve."

"Fight. You must fight. Fight!"