"A clean break is easier. You can reset it, and it heals, and you move on, but if you leave things messy, and things don't get put right, then it just hurts, for ever."

"Ira, regurgitate something fresh."

"Stephen Tobolowsky - Carl"

"Perhaps luck exists somewhere between the world of planning, the world of chance, and the peace that comes from knowing that you just can't know it all."

"I should tear your eyes out right now, but how would you ever be able to look at yourself in the morning?"

"I felt like a lying sack of fertilizer. Knowing what I knew and not knowing what I didn't and knowing more than anything that I had to know more."

"Dan Benson - Phillip"

"Kevin Sussman - Ira Nachlis"

"There are moments in life when you hope your decisions weren't rash. And moments where you just know."

"Ana Gasteyer - Harry Levin"

"Jake McDorman - Connor"

"Mary Holland - Jane Caldwell"

"I started an Instagram feed for your father to give voters a peek behind the curtain. Your mother's going viral!"

"We have been so worried about seeming perfect, but maybe we don't even know what perfect is. We have one daughter who has been unhappy in a marriage and felt like she couldn't tell us! And another daughter who just had her heart broken because she was afraid we wouldn't love her if she told us the truth. And the only reason that Jane is okay is because we gave up on her after she wouldn't stop biting in preschool. That is very far from perfect, if you ask me."

"Victor Garber - Ted Caldwell"

"Mary Steenburgen - Tipper Caldwell"

"Burl Moseley - Eric"

"Dan Levy - John"

"I love you, girls. And I'm sorry for making you think that anything could ever get in the way of that. I want to do better, and it will take time, but all I want for you is to find the same joy and happiness that you have given me, no matter where it comes from."

"[while fighting with Harper and Abby wants to interfere]: You stay out of this, Sappho!"

"[to Sloane]: Freeze! Don’t move one more muscle before I hug you!"

"[to her parents]: Eric and I are getting a divorce. We separated a few months ago. And the truth is I didn’t tell you because without my family I’m worthless to you. We’ve spent our entire lives trying to earn your love, and I’m done, too."

"I don't know about you, but I am single and I am ready to mingle."

"Come on, guys. Just hug it out."

"I had night terrors. They put me down here so I wouldn't wake everyone up."

"[after Abby is introduced to him as Harper's orphan friend]: Yes, of course. It's terrible. [pats her shoulder] There, there."

"Isn't this the best time of the year? I mean, really."

"I have a way with routers."

"Let me know if you guys need any more room. I can make myself real small."

"[after Harper accidentally destroys her painting]: I put 100 hours into that painting, and you... you just destroyed it like it was nothing. It was something. I am something. And guess what: I like myself. And maybe you all don’t because I’m not fancy. But whether you like it or not, I’m a part of this family, and I will not be left out anymore!"

"Way to stick it to the patriarchy. Really well done."

"Sloane wasn't lying! I'm gay. And I am in love with Abby. I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys sooner, but I know how much appearances and reputation matter to you. And me being gay didn't fit into the plan. But I let myself hurt Riley because I was so scared that you'd find out I wasn't who you wanted me to be, and I still regret it. I can't do that to Abby and throw away our life together. So I am done being scared, and I am done keeping secrets."

"So her parents think that their straight daughter brought home her lesbian friend for Christmas?"

"[to her sister, Sloane]: Snowman pancakes? God, that’s a lot of work for something that’s just gonna turn to shit. Oh, but that’s kind of like your law degree."

"Shut up, Jane!"

"[repeated line to Abby]: I'm tracking you."

"Have they ever met a lesbian?"

"[to Abby]: How can you not love the lights and the decorations and the Christmas trees?"

"Come with me to my parents' house for Christmas. I want to wake up with you on Christmas morning. And if that doesn't convince you to love Christmas, I'll never bring it up again."

"I track everybody. If the NSA can do it, so can I."