"[Practices calling Wade] Yah, Wade, It's Jerry, I... Yah, Wade, it's, I, it's Jerry... I don't know what to do it's Jean. I don't know what to do it's my wife. I don't know what to do it's Jean. Wade, it's Jerry, I... Wade, it's Jerry! We gotta talk! Oh, geez, it's terrible... [calls the number] Yah, Wade Gustafson, please."

"So that was Mrs. Lundegaard on the floor in there. And I guess that was your accomplice in the wood chipper. And those three people in Brainerd. And for what? For a little bit of money. There's more to life than a little money, you know. Don't you know that? And here ya are, and it's a beautiful day. Well, I just don't understand it."

"[repeated line] Mind if I sit down? I'm carrying quite a load here."

"[after her husband, Norm, kisses her] Ya got Arby's all over me."

"[on the phone] Oh my. Where? Yeah? Aw geez. Okay, there in a jif. Real good, then."

"Bain Boehlke - Mr. Mohra"

"Steve Park - Mike Yanagita"

"Cliff Rakerd - Officer Olson"

"Bruce Bohne - Lou"

"John Carroll Lynch - Norm Gunderson"

"Harve Presnell - Wade Gustafson"

"Kristin Rudrüd - Jean Lundegaard"

"Peter Stormare - Gaear Grimsrud"

"Steve Buscemi - Carl Showalter"

"William H. Macy - Jerry Lundegaard"

"Frances McDormand - Marge Gunderson"

"An ordinary place, an extraordinary thriller."

"A lot can happen in the middle of nowhere."

"A homespun murder story."

"Small town. Big crime. Dead cold."

"Shep Proudfoot: [beating Carl violently] Fucking little fucking weasel! Fuck you! You fucking motherfucking son of a fucking bitching fucking cunt! Jesus fucking Christ you fucking shitfuckbag motherfucker!"

"Mike Yanagita: So ya went and married Norm Son-of-a-Gunderson!"

"Mike Yanagita: Ya know, it's the Radisson, so it's pretty good."

"Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain! The Great Oz has spoken!"

"I AM OZ.... the Great and Powerful! Who are you?"

"[last words; screams shrilly] YOU CURSED BRAT! LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE! [melts] I'M MELTING! MELTING! Oh, what a world! What a world! Who would have thought a good little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness?! OHH! LOOK OUT! LOOK OUT! I'M GOING! Ohhhh – Ohhhhhhhhhh!"

"[cackling] Going so soon? I wouldn't hear of it. Why, my little party is just beginning."

"Take your army to the Haunted Forest and bring me that girl and her dog. Do what you like with the others, but I want her alive and unharmed. They'll give you no trouble, I promise you that. I've sent a little insect on ahead to take the fight out of them. [cackles] Take special care of those ruby slippers. I want those most of all. Now, fly! Fly! [The winged monkeys fly out of the castle] Fly, fly, fly!"

"[to Glinda] Very well – I'll bide my time. [to Dorothy] And as for you, my fine lady, it's true I can't attend to you here and now as I'd like; but just try to stay out of my way – just try! I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog too! [With a burst of laughter, she whirls around and vanishes in a burst of smoke and fire and a clap of thunder.]"

"In another hour, I'll be king of the forest! LONG LIVE THE KING!"

"Read what my medal says. Courage! Ain't it the truth! ain't it the truth!"

"Courage! What makes the King out of the slave? Courage! What makes the flag on the mast to wave? Courage! What makes the elephant charge his tusk in the misty mist, or the dusky dusk? What makes the muskrat guard his musk? Courage! What makes the Sphinx the Seventh Wonder? Courage! What makes the dawn come up like thunder? Courage! What makes the Hottentot so hot? What puts the ape in apricot? What have they got that I ain't got? (Others: Courage!) You can say it again!"

"[singing] Each rabbit would show respect to me/The chipmunks genuflect to me/Tho’ my tail would lash/I would show compash/For ev’ry underling/If I, if I were king/Just king."

"[singing] Yeah, it's sad, believe me, Missy, When you're born to be the sissy, Without the vim and verve. But I could show my prowess, Be the lion, not the "mouse," If I only had the nerve."

"I’ll fight you both together if you want! I’ll fight you with one paw tied behind my back! I’ll fight you standin’ on one foot! I’ll fight you wit’ my eyes closed!"

"Put 'em up, put 'em up! Which one of ya first?"

"[singing] When a man's an empty kettle, He should be on his mettle, And yet I'm torn apart. Just because I'm presumin' That I could be kinda human If I only had a heart."

"Why, if I had a brain I could... [singing] I could while away the hours, Conferrin' with the flowers, Consultin' with the rain. And my head I'd be scratchin' While my thoughts were busy hatchin' If I only had a brain."

"[last lines] Oh, but anyway, Toto, we're home – home! And this is my room – and you're all here – and I'm not going to leave here ever, ever again, because I love you all! And... oh, Auntie Em, there's no place like home!"

"There's no place like home; there's no place like home; there's no place like home..."

"Well, I... I think that it... that it wasn't enough to just want to see Uncle Henry and Auntie Em... and it's that if I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any further than my own backyard; because if it isn't there, I never really lost it to begin with."

"Someplace where there isn't any trouble... [tossing a piece of her cruller to Toto] ...do you suppose there is such a place, Toto? There must be. It's not a place you can get to by a boat or train. It's far, far away... behind the moon... beyond the rain. [singing] Somewhere, over the rainbow, way up high, There's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby. Somewhere, over the rainbow, skies are blue, And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true."

"Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore. We must be over the rainbow!"