"I'll learn to work the saxophone. I'll play just what I feel. Drink Scotch whiskey all night long, And die behind the wheel. They got a name for the winners in the world. I want a name when I lose. They call Alabama the Crimson Tide; Call me Deacon Blues."

"This is the day Of the expanding man. That shape is my shade There where I used to stand."

"Could you live forever? Could you see the day? Could you feel your whole world fall apart and fade away?"

"Are you with me Doctor Wu? Are you really just a shadow Of the man that I once knew?"

"Katy tried I was halfway crucified I was on the other side Of no tomorrow."

"And I'm going insane, And I'm laughing at the frozen rain. And I'm so alone, Honey when they gonna send me home?"

"When Black Friday comes, I'm gonna dig myself a hole. Gonna lay down in it 'til I satisfy my soul."

"I have never met Napoleon, But I plan to find the time."

"Any major dude with half a heart surely will tell you my friend Any minor world that breaks apart falls together again."

"You tell yourself you're not my kind, But you don't even know your mind. And you could have a change of heart."

"Rikki don't lose that number. You don't wanna call nobody else. Send it off in a letter to yourself. Rikki don't lose that number. It's the only one you own. You might use it if you feel better When you get home."

"It was still September When your daddy was quite surprised To find you with the working girls In the county jail. I was smoking with the boys upstairs When I heard about the whole affair. I said oh no, William and Mary won't do.Well I did not think the girl Could be so cruel. And I'm never going back To my old school."

"You been tellin' me you're a genius Since you were seventeen. In all the time I've known you, I still don't know what you mean. The weekend at the college Didn't turn out like you planned. The things that pass for knowledge I can't understand.Are you reelin' in the years? Stowin' away the time? Are you gatherin' up the tears? Have you had enough of mine?"

"Times are hard, You're afraid to pay the fee. So you find yourself somebody Who can do the job for free. When you need a bit of lovin', Cause your man is out of town, That's the time you get me runnin' And you know I'll be around.I'm a fool to do your dirty work Oh yeah. I don't wanna do your dirty work No more. I'm a fool to do your dirty work Oh yeah."

"Now you swear and kick and beg us That you're not a gamblin' man. Then you find you're back in Vegas With a handle in your hand. Your black cards can make you money, So you hide them when you're able. In the land of milk and honey You must put them on the table.You go back, Jack do it again, Wheel turnin' 'round and 'round. You go back, Jack do it again."

"I'll teach you everything I know If you teach me how to do that dance. Life is short and quid pro quo. And what's so strange about a down-home family romance?"

"Who makes the morning fabulous? Who says today's a fun day? Why do I feel like sailing again? Honey it's you - Janie Runaway."

"The Cuervo Gold, The fine Colombian Make tonight a wonderful thing."

"Hey Nineteen. No we got nothing in common; No we can't talk at all. Please take me along When you slide on down."

"Hey Nineteen. That's 'Retha Franklin. She don't remember The Queen of Soul. It's hard times befallen The Soul Survivors. She thinks I'm crazy, But I'm just growing old."

"Give her some funked up music, she treats you nice. Feed her some hungry reggae, she'll love you twice. The girls don't seem to care tonight As long as the mood is right.FM - no static at all."

"When Josie comes home, So good. She's the pride of the neighborhood. She's the raw flame, The live wire. She prays like a Roman With her eyes on fire."

"Peg, It will come back to you. Then the shutter falls, You see it all in 3-D. It's your favorite foreign movie"

"I cried when I wrote this song; Sue me if I play too long. This brother is free, I'll be what I want to be."

"Kyle Gass - lead acoustic guitars/backup vocals"

"We ride with kings on mighty steeds, across the devil's plain. We've walked with Jesus and his cross, he did not die in vain. NO!"

"This is not the greatest song in the world, this is just a tribute."

"Jack Black - lead vocals/rhythm guitar"

"Dio, time to go. You must give your cape and scepter TO ME! And a smaller one for KG... Go!"

"Since the beginning of time 'twas written in the stones that one day a band would come. Well that band has come and now they are here to cum again... in your ear pussies."

"BEELZEBOSS: Fuck you, Kage! And fuck you, Jables! I'LL GET YOU, TENACIOUS D!"

"BEELZEBOSS: I am compleeeeeete! JACK and KYLE: Fuuuuuuu-uuuuuck! BEELZEBOSS: Yes, you are fucked! Shit out of luck! Now I'm complete, and my cock you will suck! This world will be mine, And you're first in line! You brought me the pick, and now you shall both die! JACK: Waaaaaiiit! Waaaaaiiit! Waaaaaiiit, you motherfuckeeeeeer! We challenge you to a rock-off! Give us one chance to rock your socks off! BEELZEBOSS: FUCK! FUCK! FUUUUUUUCK! The demon code prevents me From declining a rock-off challenge! What are your terms? What's the caaa-aa-aaatch? JACK: If we win, You must take Your sorry ass back to Hell! And also, you will have to pay our rent! BEELZEBOSS: And what if I win?! JACK: Then you can take Kage back to Hell... KYLE: What?! JACK: Trust me, Kage, it's the only way. KYLE: What are you talking about?! JACK: To be your little bitch! BEELZEBOSS: FINE! LET THE ROCK-OFF BEGIN!"

"What's it gonna be, Kyle? You have to decide. Tits… or Destiny?"

"Metal! It comes from hell!"

"Burrito supreme! And a chicken supreme! And a cutlass supreme! Supreme! Yeah"

"Kyle's fingers be silver/Jack's voice, then, be gold/but lest you think we're vain/We know you're all robots and we don't care/Tenacious D/We reign/Supreme."

"This is a perfect world. I'm riding on an incline. I'm staring in your face, You'll photograph mine."

"Don't leave me stranded here. I can't get used to this lifestyle"

"And as things fell apart, Nobody paid much attention."

"Once there were parking lots, Now it's a peaceful oasis. You got it, you got it.This was a Pizza Hut, Now it's all covered with daisies. You got it, you got it."

"If this is paradise I wish I had a lawnmower."

"From the age of the dinosaurs, Cars have run on gasoline. Where, where have they gone? Now, it's nothing but flowers."

"I wrestle, with your conscience. You wrestle, with your partner. Sittin' on a window sill, but he Spends time behind closed doors."

"There's a city in my mind. Come along and take that ride. And it's all right, baby, it's all right."