"Quit yo Jibber-jabber! You ain't hurt, yo pathetic!, Argh! If I ever catch you acting like a crazy fool again, you're gonna meet my friend pain! Snickers, get some nuts!"

"SPEEDWALKING?! I pity you fool! You a disgrace to the man race! It's time to run like a real man! Take that speedwalker! Do it again sucker, and there's going to be trouble! With a capital Mr.T! Snickers, get some nuts!"

"Yo makin' me mad sucker, cold water never hurt nobody! It's time to get in da pool, 'cause you're goin' swimmin', fool! TAKE THAT, TOEDIPPER! Argh! Argh! I hate flying, so this had better be the last time I see yo cryin'! Snickers, get some nuts!"

"Shut up, fool!"

"Mr. T has the greatest hair in the world. You can't deny it, it's been proven by science, fool!"

"Well, maybe Mr. T hacked the game and created a Mohawk class! Maybe, Mr. T's pretty handy with computers! Had that occurred to you, Mr. "Condescending" Director?!"

"I'm Mr. T and I'm a "Night Elf Mohawk"! What's YOUR game?"

"I ain't no computer hacker!"

"As a kid, I got three meals a day. Oatmeal, miss-a-meal and no meal."

"[On climate change] I knew it was coming, I have been preaching this stuff for 30 years. [...] Everything we've said about climate change has come true. Why is that not sufficient that it alarms people that they change behaviors? Because of the entrenched status quo."

"[Thank] you to SAG-AFTRA for honoring me with this prize; this is very encouraging."

"Sometimes, we make entertainment. Sometimes, we make art. Sometimes, if we're lucky, we make 'em both at the same time. And if we're really fortunate, we also get to make a living doing it."

"Ours is a tough business to get into. In my case, it's been a tough business to get out of, thank God."

"I found a calling. A life in storytelling. An identity in pretending to be other people."

"I'm in a room of actors, many of whom are here because they've been nominated to receive a prize for their amazing work. While I'm here to receive a prize for being alive. That said, it is a little weird to be getting a Lifetime Achievement Award at the half-point of my career."

"We are teetering on the edge. [...] Indigenous people are the stewards of much of the remaining standing forests and contain the hope that these precious places can be preserved. The science has proved the value in their preservation but that does not keep them from encroachment, and the protection they are granted is tenuous in some of the countries these assets exist in."

"He's losing ground because everything he says is a lie [...] I'm confident we can mitigate against [climate change], that we can buy time to change behaviors, to create new technologies, to concentrate more fully on implementation of those policies. But we have to develop the political will and intellectual sophistication to realize that we human beings are capable of change. We are incredibly adaptive, we are incredibly inventive. If we concentrate on a problem we can fix it most times."

"[The President dislikes wind turbines because] he has just not seen a gold one."

"[Donald Trump] doesn’t have any policies, he has whims. It scares the shit out of me. The ignorance, the hubris, the lies, the perfidy. [Trump] knows better, but he’s an instrument of the status quo and he’s making money, hand over fist, while the world goes to hell in a handbasket."

"Which I still get shit about from my wife, like I don’t take mental health seriously. I do take mental health seriously. I was trying to say, as I explained to her: It’s that I accommodate all of the flaws that people go to psychiatrists to accommodate, because I accept my flaws. I accept my flaws and my failures—I don’t accept them, I own them. And certainly the more constant gardener is the better parent, and I’ve been out of town, up my own ass, for most of my life."

"I can tell you this: If I’d been less successful, I’d probably be a better parent."

"It is a bit of a shock to discover that there are things that a writer can bring to a script that you recognize as a shadow of your own experience. You don’t necessarily actively draw on some specific thing that happened to you—but it’s in the bank, and you want to spend it."

"Flying is the tension between freedom and responsibility. The obligation on every flight is to ensure the safety of the people aboard. It's serious. And I continually have to meet the standards. And: it's the third dimension! We're living the two dimensional life here on the ground. When you get up there and you see the third dimension - that's what's so exciting about these kids, the Young Eagles. You fly 'em over their house and it's the first time they really know where they live."

"I don't think I have something that's pronounceable as a philosophy. ... When it was fashionable to say, "May the Force be with you," I always said, "Force yourself." ... I'll say again then, "The Force is within you. Force yourself.""

"I am in show business. I don't, for a minute, ever forget that this is a business that I'm involved in, and it plays by business' rules."

"I wouldn't be doing this interview if I didn't like you."

"I just don't understand the need to name something "the best" or more better than something else. Saying one thing is better than another, one performance is better than another performance — there can't be a contest in this area. I don't understand that."

"The simplest answer is probably the most truthful: After two years of sitting on my ass during COVID, and waiting quite a few years for Indiana Jones to start, I had not done as much work as I wanted to and I wanted to do different things. So [Shrinking] came along, and then, very quickly after that, 1923 came along. I took the job without a script on both of them, on faith that the people who created the projects were going to deliver me a good script. I really didn’t realize how much work 1923 was going to be, and I absolutely feel it’s worth it. I’m excited to do another season of both."

"Speaking about his Irish/Jewish/Russian ancestors, Harrison Ford said that he is “Irish as a person but I feel Jewish as an actor.”"

"Ambiguity — the Devil's volleyball."

"I always wanted a beautiful loving wife and she always wanted to be a citizen."

"I used to be scared of pretty girls, until one confessed they're just as scared of me."

"My girlfriend always giggles during sex. No matter what she's reading."

"I caught my wife in bed with another man and I was crushed. So I said, "Get off of me, you two!""

"I got into a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well.""

"When I was a little boy, I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised, the Lord, in his wisdom, doesn't work that way. So I just stole one and asked Him to forgive me."

"So I'm at the wailing wall, standing there like a moron, with my harpoon."

"When I was a kid my dad would say, "Emo, do you believe in the Lord?" I'd say, "Yes!" He'd say, "Then stand up and shout Hallelujah!" So I would … and I'd fall out of the roller coaster."

"I'm not Catholic, but I gave up picking my belly button for lint."

"A Mormon told me that they don't drink coffee. I said, "A cup of coffee every day gives you wonderful benefits." He said, "Like what?" I said, "Well, it keeps you from being Mormon ...""

"People ask me how much I weigh. I tell them, 145 pounds, naked. That is, if that scale outside the drugstore is anything to go by."

"I like walking in the park... plucking out nose hairs. Those sleeping winos hate that."

"I was feeling a bit down, I went to a therapist a few times, at a hundred bucks a pop. But then I realized that no therapy session would ever cheer me up half as much as if I was just strolling along and found a hundred dollar bill."

"I was with this girl the other night and from the way she was responding to my skillful caresses, you would have sworn that she was... conscious. … But I love her from the hair on her head to the tag on her toes."

"I was in a bar a few nights ago, moving from stool to stool, trying to get lucky... But there was no gum under any of them. And I hear giggling behind me. At first I don't mind, but the giggling continues... Finally, I thought "What's so amusing?" I turn around, and these two guys, for the last, oh, half hour or so, have been throwing darts into my head. It's a good thing I heard them! I said, "Look, you bums," 'cause I was angry now, "As soon as this game is over, hit the road!" But as I left that bar, one thing stuck in my mind..."

"Always remember the last words of my grandfather, who said: "A truck!""

"How many people here have telekinetic powers? Raise my hand."