"See? This is what I'm sayin; real pussy is good, but, I'm sorry, it's not as good as porn. Tits? Great. Ass? Great. Blowjob? Sure, it's fuckin' fantastic in person-if she'll do it. But in real life, if you wanna get head, you gotta give head. And I know, some guys love eating pussy, but the thing about those guys is THEY'RE FUCKIN' CRAZY! Don't get me wrong, I like a good pussy eating clip, but from down here, there's nothing good about this. And if she finally does decide to do you the big favor...she's in a fuckin' hurry. Now, when it comes to the actual fucking, first of all, condoms are terrible, they just are! But, you gotta wear one, 'cause, unlike porn, real pussy can kill you. Second of all, missionary is the worst position in all of fucking! The tits lie flat, you can't see her ass-you can't really touch her ass, 'cause she's lyin' on her back. They don't want to do it from behind, 'cause they wanna look at you. Basically, it's all me doin' all the work. Money shot? No, there is no real life Money shot! Real girls won't do that shit! You just cum through the fuckin' condom! So, you tell me: which looks better? This? [a clip of him having sex with a girl] Or THIS? [a clip of his porn]"