"Whatever happened to good-lookin' flight attendants? Good lord, I had the Oak Ridge Boys with titties, on this one airplane I was on. They were ugly, I tell you. And I looked right at that one girl and my wiener went in and out my butt crack. I mean, that's how... That's a true story right there! I ain't makin' that up. I seen her, my wiener come out, went like that, turned around, [makes whooshing noise] Shot right out my dadgum hind end there. And that's documented right there. You know you're ugly when you're makin' fellers poop their own wiener. You know what I mean? That's... that's Glamour Shots or something right there."