"My lords, my ladies, and everybody else here not sitting on a cushion! [crowd roars] Today... today, you find yourselves equals! [crowd roars] For you are all equally blessed! For I have the pride, the privilege, nay, the pleasure of introducing to you to a knight, sired by knights. A knight who can trace his lineage back beyond Charlemagne. I first met him atop a mountain near Jerusalem, praying to God, asking his forgiveness for the Saracen blood spilt by his sword! Next, he amazed me still further in Italy, when he saved a fatherless beauty from the would-be ravishings of her dreadful Turkish uncle! [crowd boos] In Greece, he spent a year in silence, just to better understand the sound... of a whisper. And so, without further gilding the lily and with no more ado, I give to you the seeker of serenity, the protector of Italian virginity, the enforcer of our Lord God, the one, the only, Sir UUUUUlrich von Lichtenstein! [crowd roars] Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week!"