"[Greeting everyone for the first time] Good evening. Welcome. Everybody full? Looks like it. Everybody sober? Close enough. Let me just start by saying that nobody's on the line just yet, but what I'm about to show you is risky and extremely dangerous. If that doesn't sound like your particular brand of vodka, help yourself to as much food as you'd like, have a safe journey, no hard feelings. Otherwise, come with me."