"Whosoever dons this armor experiences an increase of 1d20 points of Intelligence in each sub-ability and is reduced to 80% of natural Height. The eyelids of the wearer will swell as though hit with a maul, and Vision is reduced to 25%. Most importantly, the Manhood or Cup Size is reduced to 50%. Strangely, the ass of the wearer will shrink, drop, and droop."