"Cursed with an abnormally vast perception of this cruel reality. Trudging through levels of intense emotion no small minded creature could withstand!! So it is no surprise that, most of all, there is pain in superiority. I suffer..."sob"...because I am better."

"You dare revel in this hideous beast you have spawned, so bloated with countless wicked futures!! Blinded morons, for all you know, this child of yours may be a vessel for Satan!!"

"Remember, dog, beauty is ephemeral, pain is forever."

"If you actually believe your true intelligence is determined by some standardized system, well, then you can't be THAT smart. The ability to quote memorized information is hardly worth such joy."

"t-shirt of Johnnys"

"For a good time, don't call me. I am dull."

"777 the # of the moose"

"ring me, I dare you"

"Hellfire Vodka"

"Johnny the Hamicidal Maniac"

"As you may already know, I tried to kill you. I see how that could be construed as a bad thing, but the part that understands that is not the one running things in my little world."

"There is no choice. You're always a slave to something."

"You were born a feeling creature. There is no unlearning of your nature. Therefore...there is no choice!!"

"There is a disturbing association in your mind, between feeling and weakness. I concur that it does present a vulnerability... but it means openness!! To pleasures! To pains! To grievance and rapture!! What other creatures know such things!!? And you would cast it off like an itchy turtleneck?!! Blasphemy of your species!! Your body screams for input!!"

"Hardly. You see, I am holding a giant hamburger"

"...who would ever suspect that they were no longer the mind behind the other end of their internal conversations. The other voices have become self-aware."

"The extent of your work is that anemic piece of shit, Happy Noodle Boy! A goddamned STICK FIGURE!!!"

"Killing yourself isn't the answer."

"I mean, look at you! You devote more time to fuming over the stupidity of mankind than you do to what you once felt so much for!! Your imagination has been subverted!!"

"She liked you and you tried to kill her. That was impolite."

"You bought me from the pet store, fed me once, and then nailed me to the wall; THREE YEARS AGO. I dont have to imagine."

"Poisoning our boy's mind with your shit!! You offend me!!!"

"Don't make me break my foot off in your ass!!"

"You're alive for now! Why waste your existence mimicking the dead!? Go enjoy!!"

"Don't expect anything but nasty irritation from anyone you didn't create."

"Try something else! Put your head in the trash compactor! That should work!!"

"You are nothing more than an outhouse to him, Mr. Eff, whereas I am his home. He will return, and when he does, that will be the end of it."

"You see, he's a bit upset just now. None too pleased with the turn of events. I, on the other hand, feel quite lovely. Ironic, really, considering I'm known to be the depressive side of things, while he is more accustomed to being the manic one."

"Sigh... It's so pretty when you're looking down on it."

"You know what's worse than hiding from what scares you?!? Do you?! I'll tell you-- it's having good things pass you by because you're too busy cringing in idiot terror, hiding someplace where all you can do is dwell on shit!!"

"Nny... It felt like such a good thing with him. Have you ever hated someone for making you like them - like them so much... and then wish they would die?"

"Stand back amigo, this is a job for the ANTICHRIST!"

"Yeayyy... see you tommorow, Squee!"

""My dog's name is Woofles!" (concluding his speech on armagedon)"

"Time's up boy!!Next time I see you, you will be a lot smaller and coming out of my other end!"

"I can't hear you honey."

"Mommy's ignoring you honey. Go bother your father, he's in his study."

"You ruined my life!"

"I haven't smiled once since you were born."

"Do you know what it's like to be trapped into a life you never planned on having?"

"Your presence tires me."

"Nooo... setting people on fire is wrong. Hee hee. You're silly, Shmee."

"Um... Mary Thomas said I have cooties. Those are bad."

"Well... it beats a lobotomy!"

"Doctor (offscreen to Squee): "Hey kid, don't turn your head or your brain will melt!" (final line in the comic)"

"Doctor: "Yes, but I wouldn't get too close to them!""