Homestar Runner

"Bubs: That's the kind of stuff I usually sell at the concession stand. This is the black market, man!"

"Strong Bad: So, wait a minute. Your shady bootleg operation peddles quality goods, while your legal store front sells dangerous crap?"

"Bubs: Exactly. I got a repatation to uphold!"

"Strong Sad: I think that's just the cap of a bottle of Cold Ones Dry. You could probably just pick it up."

"Strong Bad: What, are you crazy? I'm not touching that thing! It's booby trapped! It'll shoot a bunch of poison-tipped witch doctors at me!"

"Bubs: [shows up with numerous barrels of toxic waste] Anyways, I'm here for my weekly, Ahem, "delivery"."

"Strong Bad:Yeah, yeah, just bury it wherever. But if you uncover any ruins, or hot aliens, or riches, they're mine, OK?"

"Bubs: Uh, what about fellas named Rich?"

"Strong Bad: Wha-what? No, I don't know anyone named Rich."

"Bubs: OK, good. Then he can stay where he is."

"Strong Sad: Uh, is there anyway I can unhear the last few sentences? Or years of my life?"

"Strong Bad: Well before you get the toys inside, you first have to navigate the treacherous, jaggedy rock filled class 5 rapids of specially marked cereal box fake outs! Luckily, I'm a lame sandal wearing hippie with a ponytail that's been down these rapids with groups of tourists many times!"

"Strong Bad: The first hazard to watch out for are cereals that include anything grown in Iowa in the name. You know— corn, wheat, oats, hogs, fundamentally-sound college basketball players. Please, stay away from these. Those cereals only ever put fitness-related crap in specially marked boxes."

"Strong Bad: You know what kind of toys I'd put in specially marked boxes? […] Anything heavy and pointy enough to do lasting damage to the face."

"Strong Bad: Another way of fancying up a love poem is to replace random letters in the middle of words with apostrophes. "It is never ever over, my lover of clover" becomes "'Tis ne'er e'er o'er m'lo'er o' clo'er"."

"Coach Z: [suddenly leans in] Now you're sporkin' my language!"

"Strong Bad: Get out!"

"Strong Sad: Well, you know, Announcerman, that's right! All you gophers out there better listen up! The Magnificent Marzipan stole all Gardenboy's garden tools! And I don't care if she's the women's champion, men's champion, the half-woman half-man's champion, bu- Do we have one of those?"

"Announcerman: Er, yes, I believe we do."

"Strong Sad: Well, can I fight them instead?"

"Strong Bad: “Dear. Streer. Beer. My brother had a friend over today and he drove me crazy!! What should I do about it? Crudfully, Henry Wisner, why?” “Crudfully”? Really? What, was your mom sitting over your shoulder when you typed this email? And is your mom the kind of lady that won't let you type the word “crap”? Don't get me wrong, I still woulda made fun of you if you had typed “crapfully”, I prolly would have just left your moms out of it."

"Strong Bad: Independent films are called that for a reason: they are independent of anything good."

"Strong Sad: I minored in holding on wide shots for too long!"

"Strong Bad: [An indie film director will] spend his 30-million dollar budget trying as hard as he can to make it look like he only spent a few hundred thousand. The first step is to spend millions on a hand-drawn title sequence that looks like it was made by some Junior High kid during Pre-Algebra."

"Strong Bad: The title of the movie is either two of the cleverly named main characters, or the city and state in which it takes place. Ooh, in fact, just call it "city, comma, state"."

"Strong Bad: an indie film's plot is pretty much the same as any summer blockbuster, but just switch out any mention of the word "space" with the word, "small factory town", replace "aliens" with "quirky, dysfunctional family", And replace "voyage" with... "journey"."

"Strong Bad: Hopefully that will be enough to keep your wife from wondering why her video media technologist husband wasn't smart enough to think of putting a video camera on a tripod across the room and press record. But you could probably also get away with just putting a label that says "WEDDIN [sic] TAPE" on a VHS cassette since none-out-of-none couples actually ever watch their wedding video. Unless of course a baby drops an f-bomb, somebody pukes in their toupee, or Grandmaw Auntpaw rolls down the stairs in her wheelchair. In which case you simply post it online and turn it into internet gold! And I can definitely arrange for some of that stuff to happen at your wedding, if you enlist my services as an "event coordinator.""

"Strong Bad: “Sincerely, Mollie B.” Oh, that is a waste of a perfectly good middle "B" initial, Mollie! Lemme fix that for ya! “Sincerely, Mollie B. Chowdwerworth Gruelmanger”. You know, of the Puntington Farms Gruelmangers."

"Strong Bad: For motivation, I do what any great coach does, and berate myself until I get results or until I quit the team and press charges!"

"[Cut to Strong Bad shouting at himself in a mirror]"

"Strong Bad: Chowderworth Gruelmanger?! You call that an overly-complicated old-timey last name?! That is bush-league, son! I am sick and tired of this crap! And I'm sick of losing to Purdue!"

"Homestar Runner: Always be'sing and do'sing! And never cheesing or choosing! Always be'sing and do'sing!"

"Strong Bad: Er... Homestar?"

"Homestar Runner: And never cheesing or choosing!"

"Strong Bad: Homestar!"

"Homestar Runner: Yeah, what?"

"Strong Bad: You're in my house."

"Homestar Runner: Yup."

"Strong Bad: Again."

"Homestar Runner: Yeppers."