"[Interrupting Darren and Steve as they fight] That's enough, boys."

"[Introducing himself at the show] Thank you ladies and gentlemen. I am so excited to be here in an anonymous small to…"

"Now boys, vampires don't exist, but if one did, and he thought someone knew, he might smother them in their sleep."

"[After Darren enters his room and turns on the light] Nice room. Some excellent reading material you have here. Thoug…"

"John C. Reilly - Larten Crepsley"

"Chris Massoglia - Darren Shan"

"Josh Hutcherson - Steve "Leopard" Leonard"

"Salma Hayek - Madame Truska"

"Jessica Carlson - Rebecca (Monkey Girl)"

"Meet Darren. He's sixteen going on immortal."