"In case you missed it, man, people are trying to kill me! I'm covered in shit and some French cops whupped my ass with some yellow pages, man. So don't tell me it ain't none of my business!"

"For your information, I'm part Chinese now. That's right, Lee. For the last three years, I've studied the ancient teaching of Buddha, earning two black belts in Wushu martial arts, spending every afternoon at the Hong Kong Garden Massage Parlor on Pico and Bundy. I'm half-Chinese, baby."

"[A dog pisses on Carter] Good girl!"

"My butt still hurts."

"Maybe we should put on a dirty movie. Only $9.95."

"You're lucky we're not in Hong Kong. Phone book is twice as big."

"I'm not constipated anymore!"

"Sorry. I don't know him."

"The ambassador is my responsibility!"

"If you're half-Chinese, I'm half-black. I'm your brother and I'm fly. You down with that, Snoopy? That's dope, isn't it?"

"And you're not my brother."

"Archeology is the search for fact, not truth. If it's truth you're interested in, Dr. Tyree's philosophy class is right down the hall. [the students laugh] So forget any ideas you've got about lost cities, exotic travel, and digging up the world. We do not follow maps to buried treasure, and X never, ever marks the spot. 70% of all archaeology is done in the library. Researching. Reading. We cannot afford to take mythology at face value."

"Denholm Elliott - Marcus Brody"

"John Rhys-Davies - Sallah"

"Julian Glover - Walter Donovan"

"Alison Doody - Dr. Elsa Schneider"

"Sean Connery - Henry Jones Sr."

"Harrison Ford - Henry "Indiana" Jones Jr."

"The Ark of the Covenant was perfect. The Sankara Stones were way too esoteric. The Holy Grail was sort of feeble—but, at the same time, we put the father in there to cover for it. I mean, the whole reason it became a dad movie was because I was scared to hell that there wasn’t enough power behind the Holy Grail to carry a movie. So we kept pushing to have it function on some level—and to make it function for a father and a son. To make it that kind of a movie was the big risk and the big challenge, but also the thing that pulled it out of the fire. So, at the end of it, I was like, No more of these, baby. We’re done. I can’t think of anything else. We barely got by on the last one!"

"[At a Nazi rally in Berlin] My boy, we're pilgrims in an unholy land."

"[pops out of the hatch after Indy saves him] You call this archeology?"

"[after making a German plane crash by frightening seagulls into the sky] I suddenly remembered my Charlemagne: "Let my armies be the rocks and the trees - and the birds in the sky.""

"[To the passengers, after tossing Colonel Vogel out of the zeppelin] No ticket! [the terrified passengers frantically show their tickets]"

"Evil has been summoned... again."

"[to an old woman] Too bad, you just crapped out. [the woman fills with coins and then defecates all of them out]"

"You're a good guy, Troy. And actually, right now, I think I like you better than I like myself. Did I just say that?"

"Monique Coleman as Taylor McKessie"

"Corbin Bleu as Chad Danforth"