"This I believe in... I believe in death. I believe in disease. I believe in injustice, and inhumanity, and torture, and anger, and hate. I believe in murder. I believe in pain! I believe in cruelty, and infidelity! I believe in slime, and stink, and in every crawling, putrid thing, every possible ugliness and corruption, YOU SON OF A BITCH! I BELIEVE... in you."

"My wife's mother is visiting, Father. And Tuesday night, she's cooking us a carp. It's a tasty fish, I've got nothing against it. But, because it's supposedly filled with impurities, she buys it live and for three days, it's been swimming... up and down... in my bathtub. Up and down... and I hate it. I can't stand the sight of it, moving its gills. Now, you're standing very close to me, Father; have you noticed? Yes. I haven't had a bath for three days. I can't go home until the carp is asleep because if I see it, swimming... I'll kill it."

"I was signaling beings on Mars. Sometimes they answer."

"On the entrance exam for new policemen, they ask, "What are rabies and what would you do for them?" Ryan said, "Rabies are Jewish priests and I would do anything I possibly could for them.""

"I cannot believe you just said that. What kind of a world is this? Are you an animal? Do you know what Macbeth is about? I'll tell you. It's a play about the numbing of the moral sense. I tell Ryan that we have nothing to go on in this case. You know what he says to me? "Win some, lose some." You're a racist, Ryan. Did you know that?"

"Tony Martin – Dr. Claw"

"David Wiebers - Wedding Musician (trumpet)"

"Judge Mablean Ephriam (cameo) - Herself"

"Nicholas Ortiz - Himself"

"Georgia Allen - Aunt Ruby"

"Cassi Davis - Aunt Sarah"

"Johnny Gill - Wedding singer"

"Cicely Tyson - Myrtle"

"Tangi Miller - Donna"

"Jenifer Lewis - Milay Jenay Lori"

"Maya Angelou - Aunt May"

"Henry Simmons - Isaac"

"China Anne McClain - Tamara"

"Boris Kodjoe - Frankie Henderson"

"Rochelle Aytes - Lisa Breaux"

"Lisa Arrindell Anderson - Vanessa Breaux"

"French Stewart – Inspector Gadget"

"Lynn Whitfield - Victoria Breaux"

"Blair Underwood - Carlos"

"Keke Palmer - Nikki Grady"

"Tyler Perry - Brian, Joe, and Mabel Simmons (Madea)"

"Come as you are. Leave different."

"This February, you're invited."

"There's nothing broken that can't be fixed with love."

"Learn dignity. Demand respect."

"You love making me angry don't you?"

"Do you wanna leave me? DO YOU WANNA LEAVE ME!?"

"I just said I was sorry."

"Well this is hot GEORGIAA..Not PARIS.. so we don't wear Dressin.."

"STOP THAT FIGHTING I SAY!!!!!"

"Love is stronger than any other addiction, baby. Hell, it is one."

"I only go to church for weddings and funerals. I wonder what i'm going for today?"

"[after being told by the girl i don't like you ether old lady] she trying to get me the electric chair all ready."

"I'll take the prison for 200 Alex"

"You don't know me! I'm a thug! I'm a real thug! I shot Tupac! That's right, we was arguin' over a parking space. I didn't kill him though, that wasn't me!"

"Lil' girl, if you don't stop POPPIN' THAT GUM-!"

"You don't know me, I'm from the old school honey. I will beat the hell outta' you first and ask questions later!"

"All my life I had to fight... I luz hahpo, But I kill him dead fo' I let him beat me!"

"It ain't what people call you, it's what you answer to."

"D. L. Hughley – voice of Gadgetmobile"

"James Wardlaw – Brick"

"John Batchelor – McKibble"

"Caitlin Wachs – Penny"

"Bruce Spence – Baxter"