"[to Roz, on a three-way call with Greg] Why can't you support my dreams the way I've always supported yours? When you wanted to try new sex positions for your research, I was your guinea pig!"

"But do it only when it's dry. Don't do a wet one."

"You kids wanna pick your nose and flick your boogers? Do it!"

"I had no idea how deep I was until I stepped away, and I'll tell you something. Once I got off the treadmill, I've never been happier."

"Ah. He pulled the same shit on you, didn't he? In that family, we're all just hamsters on Jack Byrnes' little wheel. His Circus of Trust or whatever he calls it."

"More like his golden bitch. He wanted Deb and me to get married in Oyster Bay. Done. Can we name our baby after him? "You got it, Jack." Then he gives me this whole spiel, right, about how I'm next in line to his throne. He came up with this name for me, the Bobfather."

"OK. I get it, Greg. I screwed up. The pressure of being in that family finally got to me."

"Greg, he's not responding to my treatment."

"Not in the Western sense of word."

"I speak from the heart, off the cuff, like my man, J.C. at the Sermon on the Mount. You said that's what you've always admired about me."

"Look, even our dear friend, the Buddha had to pass through samsara on his way to enlightenment."

"Look, it's natural to get a little tempted."

"Andi gives Daddy his boners."

"I can't say because I'm not supposed to be spying."

"Um, like Mommy got mad at Daddy because he was going to the hotel with Andi."

"I guess they fight sometimes."

"We're just trying to help you, sir..."

"Why is he cursing at us?"

"[to Kevin] Why don't you get on your stupid monster yacht with your bubble-butt Russian girlfriend and do Jell-O shots off of Deepak Chopra's butt?"

"Really? To you waving your hands over him? He's not a Ouija board, Kevin."

"Just please, approval! Approval! Please! Give me some of the Jack... yeah..."