"[P]leated Trixi Schober trousers in faux-poor crushed linen, jewelled sweaters produced in Mariucca Mandelli's unmistakable hand, a sculpted Karl Lagerfeld handbag, scarves and gloves by Nanni."

"She is not destructive - but she does have a particular facility for puncturing pomposity."

"But despite the fact that everyone thinks that I'm an IFP member, I do not have any political affiliations. I support Buthelezi the man because he makes me believe that heroes still exist."

"Dressing with style is akin to issuing a manifesto; dressing fashionably is like signing a petition."

"I had an idea of her humour from her writing and I'd always appreciated that very English brand of wit. She has a razor-sharp mind... Jani is a very sensitive and emotional person. I don't think I've got the same fine sensitivity or compassion that she has. But finding ourselves on the same wavelength as Christians is more profound and meaningful to me than anything else. Over the years we've warmed towards each other as Christians. That bond, apart from the friendship, rises above all different political ideas. It's more of a spiritual link."

"I threw the kitchen sink at him but he went to the bathroom and got his tub."

"A church full of singing, out of tune Everyone's gone to the moon"

"You see a long time ago life had begun Everyone went to the sun"

"I've got a sister in Australia, so when I phone her up there is a slight delay on the line after I've spoken because she's a bit thick."

"The left side of the brain is responsible for speech, but then it would say that."

"Anyone got a van? [Silence] That's right, you never see them any more, do you, vans. Trying to spoil my DVD?"

"Nan, she died again, tragically. We decided to get her embalmed, we threw a bit of money at it. And the embalmer asked us if we had any photos of Nan that he could work from. But unfortunately, the only photo we had was of Nan on the log-flume at Alton Towers."

"You're probably like me, when your doorbell rings, your dog goes racing up to the door...but it's never for him, is it? "Who did you think it was going to be, one of your little friends?""

"I understand that there's a large party of Scottish people here tonight... [Silence] I'll kill that researcher!"

"I remember the shouts of "SCAB!" as my father went to work during the great dermatologists strike."

"He went on Friends Reunited and Moses got back in touch with him. Thats how old he is!"

"You know, he cries every time he sees a fossil, because he remembers it when it was running around. Thats how old he is!"

"He went down to Portsmouth once, to visit the Mary Rose, and was surprised to learn that it had sunk. Thats how old he is!"

"He remembers when lizards were fish. Thats how old he is!"

"You know, he burned his first ever pair of shoes, because when he was a kid, the Earth was still hot. Thats how old he is!"

"Why is it only Tudor buildings we mock?"

"¡Qué rico es ser boricua!"

"Well, do you remember Rick Astley? He had a big fat hit, it was ghastly He said, I'm never gonna give you up or let you down Well, I'm here to tell you that dick's a clown"

"Rick walked away right at the height. People look at other artists like Simply Red and say they were big, but he out-sold them two to one."

"I didn't like the music business and I didn't like me. There's an element of falseness about the whole thing. Even things like doing an interview. It's not as though we just met in the pub and are having a chat — it's part of a process. If you do it all day, every day for years, you end up thinking: 'Who the hell am I?' I was lucky enough to make some money, enough to let me kick back. It was a great experience and it was nice to have a couple of No.1s but the best thing about it was that the money I made allowed me to have freedom and choice in my life."

"I did enjoy it," he says. "But it was very, very weird. You can blab on about seeing the other side of fame, but it doesn't mean shit until it happens to you. It wasn't so much the going on TV, or going to award ceremonies, or having a camera focused on your face. It was being famous in the supermarket, being famous in a restaurant. Fame is not just about being able to get out of a limo in Leicester Square, it's about trying to get into your house when there are eight photographers outside. When you think about being famous, you don't think about all that stuff. You think about the glamour. I wanted to turn the tap off when I'd done my job. But you can't."

"I took the first few years off and spent them recovering. I didn't even know what day it was or who I was anymore, so I made a conscious effort to end it all. I thought my days were numbered as a pop star anyway. My girlfriend and I had a daughter, I had some money, so I just took the time off to chill out."

"I had my 15 minutes of being the new boy of pop, like lots of people before and after me. Overnight, everyone starts treating you differently, and perceives you differently."

"You got Rick Roll'd!"

"You know the wild flowers suit your hair: Place hands full of the purple bloom Of loosestrife, glad of such soft doom, And tender-toned narcissus there"

"Your father bears an iron reed Filled with a flame that makes us bleed; Your kindly mother loves to tear Feathers and skin to deck her hair."

"Come, take hands, you are not such As this will weary overmuch. Sit we down, and hear rehearse The marvels of the sweet-souled verse"

"I suppose that if your name is Freud, it is better to be related to Sigmund than not. It must be frustrating to have to keep denying family connection."

"I was called up in 1942. Having been born in Berlin, schooled in Devon, London and Berkshire, and lived in Suffolk, I ended up in the Highland Light Infantry."

"If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer."

"In 1978 I was on a parliamentary delegation to Japan and returned via China during the Cultural Revolution, a choice also made by young Winston Churchill, then the Conservative MP for Stretford. I was debriefed by the Minister for Information who asked if there was anything at all I would like to ask. I said: "Yes. Everything you do, you do with extreme care and precision. When I ask questions that your government does not like, my driver calls for me five minutes later than arranged. When I ask if there are any blind or handicapped children in China, I get cabbage soup for dinner."Now I am in your country with a colleague, than whom I am older, have been in parliament longer, have held higher positions in our respective political parties: we are both staying at the Peking Palace Hotel and his suite is bigger than mine. Why?"The Minister, very embarrassed, finally said: "It is because Mr Churchill had a famous grandfather."It is the only time that I have been out-grandfathered."

"He did not suffer fools gladly (or at all) and his threshold for foolishness was set rather low. He was the master of the terrifying put-down: with his fine palate he loathed cigarette smoke and once on the train, an acquaintance told me with awe, a woman lit up in the non-smoking carriage near him. When he remonstrated she said: "Oh, it's only ten feet from the smoking section." Freud sprang to his feet and said: "Madam, we're only five feet from the lavatory, is it all right if I piss on the floor?""

"What is a harp but an over-sized cheese-slicer with cultural pretensions?"

"A counter tenor is anyone who can count to ten."

"Smetana certainly knew which side his bride was bartered."

"He had the kind of handshake that ought never to be used except as a tourniquet."

"By the RIAA's terms, we commit piracy every time we share files on the Internet. In reality, the RIAA pirated almost all the 400 million CDs sold in America last year, since the people who made the music didn't get paid for them."

"I argue with lots of things, but I do not argue with my ears."

"Canada is like America without Jesus."

"Glamour is just sex that got civilized."

"You have haters from all walks of life. I could care less who wants me to fail. They inspire me. Motivates me."

"I have opinions that are based on the facts that are presented to me. I don't apologize. I stand by it. If I'm hated, so what? If I'm loved, so what?"

"The reality is that you're entitled to believe what you want as long as you're not imposing your beliefs on other people. ...I don't think [atheists] need to shut up. The reason why I don't think they need to shut up is because there's a whole bunch of people in this world that we can look at and say they need to shut up and they certainly don't. You got everybody fighting for their own individual cause. This is their cause. We might not like it. I don't agree with it at all, but they do have a right."

"I wasn't all whored up."