Producers From The United States

"I have more dumb luck thank anybody I know. There must be a convey of guardian angels working twenty-four hours a day looking after me[...] Like the night I first got to Nashville that I laid down in the middle of Broadway, waiting to get run over. It didn't happen [...] I could swear they were keeping me alive just to see what I'd get next, I'm glad they feel that way. I'm trying to help them a little more this days."

"It didn't take long for me to realize that writing, performing and singing songs was what I was meant to do, but what other people thought was an entirely different issue. If I had to break it down, I’d say about 99 percent of the people in my life were telling me I wasn’t going to make it. All that adversity and lack of faith ended up just strengthening my own convictions. All that negativity really helped me in the end, because there’s no better inspiration for doing something than having somebody say that you can’t do it."

"(Songwriting) It's a gift. It all comes from somewhere. I started out really young, when I was four, five, six, writing poems, before I could play an instrument. I was writing about things when I was eight or 10 years old that I hadn't lived long enough to experience."

"Bob Wills taught me how to be a bandleader and how to be a star. [...] There was no time wasted between songs. I learned from him to keep the people moving and dancing. [...] The more you keep the music going, the smoother the evening will be. Another thing he taught me was people came and paid their money to hear what they wanted to hear. Even if Bob had a mediocre band that night, the people knew his records and his radio shows and they heard what they thought Bob Wills sounded like. Whether he had a good night or a bad night, every night was a good night."

"In church I was told that if I so much as smoked a cigarette or tasted alcohol, I’d be damned in hell for all eternity[...]it didn’t take long for me to start thinking that sounded all wrong [...]I didn’t cotton to the idea that your religion should be flaunted to other people. Your religion is for you, and is best kept close to your heart."

"Well, there was a guy, a blacksmith, in Abbott, and he and my granddad both had blacksmith's jobs. I hung around there a lot. And he had a family band. He just let me play because he knew I wanted to work and needed the work. So, I played a guitar in a big polka band with a lot of horns and everything. So, fortunately, no one ever heard me, because I wasn't that great. But I was nine or 10 years old and making eight to 10 dollars a night. So, it was easier than picking cotton."

"I started learning my lessons in Abbot Texas, where I was born in 1933. My sister Bobbie and I were raised by our grandparents [...] We never had enough money, and Bobbie and I started working at an early age to help the family get by. That hard work included picking cotton. [...] Picking cotton is hard and painful work, and the most lasting lesson I learned in the fields was that I didn't want to spend my life picking cotton."

"I have this kind of philosophy that I can't do anything about what happened yesterday, or what's going to happen tomorrow. But I feel in full control of what's going on now. I think worry will make you sick. I've never seen it accomplish anything. I've never seen worrying about anything change it. So I decided not to do it. If you can't do anything about it, why in the hell worry about it? Every negative thought you have releases poison into your system, and will kill you or give you cancer, or tumors or whatever else you can think of. So if you are thinking negative about anything, erase that."

"When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around."

"Nelson is one of the most iconic artists of his time and an influential figure as an activist, songwriter and singer. Nelson is known for spearheading outlaw country and the Farm Aid concerts, while releasing some of the most well-known country songs of all time."

"In the fetal position with drool on my chin We broke down and smoked weed with Willie again"

"I'll never smoke weed with Willie again My party's all over before it begins You can't pour me some old whiskey River my friend. But I'll never smoke weed with Willie again"

"I always heard that his herb was top shelf Lord I just could not wait to find out for myself. Well don't knock it till you've tried it. And I've tried it my friend. I'll never smoke weed with Willie again! Now we learned a hard lesson in a small Texas town He fired up a fat boy and he passed it around The last words I spoke before they tucked me in "I may discount Bungee jump but, I'll never smoke weed with Willie again.""

"I'm not going to get married again, I think I'll just find a woman that hates me, then buy her a house."

"Three chords and the truth — that’s what a country song is."

"I'm just an ole redneck from Texas who ain't a Democrat or Republican, but I can look at a guy and tell whether I like him or not."

"When you think a negative thought, it releases poison in your system. Next thing you know, you wind up with cancer or other diseases. I try to live in the moment without regrets."

"Rather than trying to put an end to Eminem or some other rapper, politicians should think about why they're rapping. It's easier to try to censor some kid who's swearing about poverty than it is to stop the poverty."

"Biodiesel seems to be the answer to a lot of our prayers. Not only can it help the U.S. economy, our unwanted dependence on foreign oil, and the gasping environment, it could also help the family farmers out of this tragic dilemma they have found themselves in through no fault of their own."

"Family farmers are small farmers who love the land. They're still not getting enough money for their product and are rapidly losing their battle to stay in business. By helping the American family farmer, we will in turn help ourselves out of the economic hole that we find ourselves in today. It doesn't really matter how we got here; the point is, we have to dig our way out."

"When I was out in the bars drinking and fighting I was a little bit less of a peacemaker than I would be if I'd had a coupla hits of a joint and gone and laid down somewhere."

"The only time it's an issue, I suppose, would be like if you're having a baby and you've got to figure out how you want to raise it. Which still wouldn't be an issue for us, because we'd be … honest, and just say, you know, like, "Mommy is one of the chosen people … and daddy believes that Jesus is magic!""

"I wear this Saint Christopher medal sometimes, because – I'm Jewish, but my boyfriend is Catholic. It was cute, the way he gave it to me. He said if it doesn't burn through my skin, it will protect me. Who cares? Different religions."

"Hey, is it considered molestation if the child makes the first move? I'm gonna need a quick answer on this."

"People who call themselves divas...you are not a diva. I'm pretty sure you're a cunt."

"This song brings me back … I was brutally raped to this song."

"Wow! She is amazing. She is 25 years old and she's already accomplished everything she's going to accomplish in her life. It's mind blowing … have you seen Britney's kids? Oh my god, they are the most adorable mistakes you will ever see! They are as cute as the hairless vagina they came out of!"

"I don't believe in Jesus or God. But I do believe that fundamentalists in religion or anything else are bad, and that they have more hate than love. Jesus' words have become so perverted over time — it's been like a game of telephone. If he existed, Jesus would fuckin' kill himself."

"I didn't lose my virginity until I was twenty-six. Nineteen vaginally, but twenty-six what my boyfriend calls "the real way". I always think I should get on it if I want to have kids. Because once you hit thirty it can be difficult to conceive — it can be dangerous. The best time to conceive is when you're a black teenager."

"Everybody blames the Jews for killing Christ, and then the Jews try to pass it off on the Romans. I'm one of the few people that believe it was the blacks."

"I commend you on all you've done for PETA, wrestling the one-eyed trouser snake with your bare hands, gently cuddling it in your arms, and nurturing it back to health."

"I'm so glad Courtney Love is here; I left my crack in my other purse."

"I got jury duty … and I didn't want to go, so my friend said, "You should write something really really racist on the form when you return it. Like, you should put 'I hate chinks'." And I said, "I'm not going to put that on there just to get out of jury duty. I don't want people to think that about me." So instead I wrote, "I love chinks." And who doesn't?"

"You look like my friend Debbie. That's really weird … do you get that a lot? — It's sad, though, 'cause you know, we're not really friends anymore. But, uh, it's not your fault. Seriously, it was 'cause she's, um … not "born again Christian" … oh! — "pathological liar.""

"Once I was with two men in one night. But I could never do it again—I could hardly walk afterward. Two dinners? That's a lot of food."

"I Hope The Jews Did Kill Christ. I’d Fucking Do It Again in a Second."

"I'll take this opportunity to answer one of the most repeated questions: why didn't I choose to depict Mohammed having sex? The answer is simple. I don't want to get blown up with explosives. I'm afraid of angering Muslims, but not afraid of angering Jews and Christians. So I chose to depict the Judeo-Christian God instead. It seems extremely obvious to me, but so many people asked."

"I'll be back. I'll be black. I'll be white black."

"If we can send a person to the moon, we can send someone with AIDS to the moon, and then someday we can send everybody with AIDS to the moon."

"[holds up an egg] This is AIDS. AIDS is as real as an egg."

"I learned that people in wheelchairs are allowed to have marathons … which, to me, seems like cheating, but what are you gonna say?"

"Also, I learned whether you are gay, bisexual, it doesn't matter, you know … because, at the end of the day, they're both gross. But mostly, I learned that elderly black women are wise beyond their years … but younger black women are prostitutes."

"I love you more than bears love honey, I love you more than Jews love money, I love you more than Asians are good at math. I love you even if it's not hip, I love you more than black guys don't tip, I love you like Puerto Ricans need baths."

"When God gives you AIDS – and God does give you AIDS – make lemon-AIDS!"

"On the law that requires women to wait twenty-four hours before they are permitted to have an abortion: I think it's a good law. The other day I wanted to go get an abortion. I really wanted an abortion, but then I thought about it and it turned out I was just thirsty."

"I want to get an abortion. But my boyfriend and I are having trouble conceiving."

"A couple nights ago, I was licking jelly off my boyfriend's penis. And I thought, "Oh my God – I'm turning into my mother!""

"I saw my father's penis once. But it was okay, because I was so young … and so drunk."

"I was raped by a doctor … which is so bittersweet for a Jewish girl."

"I've sued my manager for sexual harassment. And it's real hard, and a big strain on me. Because he hasn't done anything."