"Prentice: My nerves are on edge. Rance: You should consult a qualified psychiatrist. Prentice: I am a qualified psychiatrist. Rance: You're a fool. That isn't quite the same thing. Though, in your case, the two may have much in common."

"Geraldine: At least give me back my clothes. I feel naked without them."

"Mrs. Prentice: Are you Geraldine Barclay? Nick: Yes. Mrs. Prentice: Where have you been? Nick: I've been attending to the thousand and one duties that occupy the average secretary during her working hours. Mrs Prentice: It doesn't take the whole morning to file your nails, surely? Nick: I had to lie down. I was sick. Mrs. Prentice: Are you pregnant? Nick: I can't discuss my employer's business with you."

"Prentice: This appalling situation is the result of my lax moral code. It's clean living and Teach Yourself Woodwork for me from now on!"

"Sir — In finding so much to praise in Entertaining Mr. Sloane, which seems to be nothing more than a highly sensationalized, lurid, crude and over-dramatised picture of life at its lowest, surely your dramatic critic has taken leave of his senses.The effect this nauseating work had on me was to make we want to fill my lungs with some fresh, wholesome Leicester Square air. A distinguished critic, if I quote him correctly, felt the sensation of snakes crawling around his ankles while watching it.Yours truly,Peter Pinnell"

"All they that love not tobacco and boys are fools."

"Comparisons are odious."

"Above our life we love a steadfast friend."

"All women are ambitious naturally."

"Love always makes those eloquent that have it."

"I'm armed with more than complete steel,— The justice of my quarrel."

"Like untuned golden strings all women are, Which long time lie untouch'd, will harshly jar. Vessels of brass, oft handled, brightly shine."

"A pleasant-smiling cheek, a speaking eye, A brow for love to banquet royally."

"It lies not in our power to love or hate, For will in us is overruled by fate."

"He that loves pleasure, must for pleasure fall."

"Was this the face that launch'd a thousand ships, And burnt the topless towers of Ilium? Sweet Helen, make me immortal with a kiss!"

"Pray for me! and what noise soever ye hear, come not unto me, for nothing can rescue me."

"Who ever loved that loved not at first sight?"

"And let these tears, distilling from mine eyes, Be proof of my grief and innocency."

"Che serà, serà: What will be, shall be."

"My swelling heart for very anger breaks."

"My men, like satyrs grazing on the lawns, Shall with their goat feet dance the antic hay."

"What should a priest do with so fair a house? A prison may best beseem his holiness."

"Hell hath no limits, nor is circumscrib'd In one self place; but where we are is hell, And where hell is, there must we ever be."

"So, march away; and let due praise be given Neither to fate nor fortune, but to Heaven."

"Now will I show myself to have more of the serpent than the dove; that is, more knave than fool."

"Thou hast committed— Fornication: but that was in another country; And besides, the wench is dead."

"Religion Hides many mischiefs from suspicion."

"When all the world dissolves, And every creature shall be purified, All places shall be hell that are not heaven."

"Things past recovery Are hardly cured with exclamations."

"Love me little, love me long."

"Accurst be he that first invented war."

"Let Earth and Heaven his timeless death deplore, For both their worths shall equal him no more."

"Our swords shall play the orators for us."

"What strange arts necessity finds out."

"Time passeth swift away; Our life is frail, and we may die to-day."

"I count religion but a childish toy, And hold there is no sin but ignorance."

"Pluck up your hearts, since fate still rests our friend."

"Come live with me and be my Love, And we will all the pleasures prove That hills and valleys, dales and fields, Or woods or steepy mountain yields.And we will sit upon the rocks, And see the shepherds feed their flocks By shallow rivers, to whose falls Melodious birds sing madrigals.And I will make thee beds of roses And a thousand fragrant posies."

"And thus methinks should men of judgment frame Their means of traffic from the vulgar trade, And, as their wealth increaseth, so inclose Infinite riches in a little room."

"You sons of care, companions of my course!"

"Excess of wealth is cause of covetousness."

"I think basically what we were doing was laughing at the authoritarian figures we grew up under. ...you know it’s nonsense, this assumed authority that's been given to you by teachers, by military figures, by police, by judges, and it's all pretending, "we know what's going on on this planet" and it's all bullshit. And I think that Python was quite good at getting rid of those inhibitions, and I think it's why it's still appealing to the young."

"I got used to dealing with groups of boys and getting on with life in unpleasant circumstances and being smart and funny and subversive at the expense of authority."

"American Beer is a lot like making love in a canoe - it's fucking close to water."

"Basically, the Germans came to us and said, "We don't have a sense of humour.""

"Always look on the bright side of life."

"Typical Hollywood crowd - all the kids are on drugs, and all the adults are on roller skates."

"We wondered why we ever thought there was, during the Cold War, any serious danger of Russia conquering the world when they couldn't even deliver the scenery for The Tempest."